Ali Lohan Is a Troll

June 18th, 2008 by Evil Beet


Lindsay’s Mini-Me is reportedly the director’s top choice for the lead role in a remake of 1986’s Troll.

“She was great [in her audition],” says the director, John Carl Buechler. “The camera loves her. She’s a really good actress … I am personally going to fight for her.”

You know, it’s actually kind of cool to watch this all happen. Gossip has been really slow lately, and I blame that in part on the upcoming U.S. election, but I think we’re also just seeing a little lull while gossip’s cast members change shifts. Paris and Britney and Lindsay and Nicole seem to be retiring voluntarily from their days as tabloid queens, and we’re watching a new generation step up to take their place: Ali Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Dakota Fanning, Selena Gomez, The Jonas Brothers, Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron, Ashley Tisdale, Demi Lovato, etc.

I mean, Britney and Lindsay and Paris really ushered in a new era of celebrity gossip and helped the industry to change and explode (and helped me into a job!). In its current form, celebrity gossip is a really young industry, so we’ve never really seen anything like this happen before. There’s going to be some load-time delay as the rookies get positioned for their turn on the tabloid stage. But I assure you it’ll be worth the wait. I’m so excited.


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35 Responses to “Ali Lohan Is a Troll”

  1. ricardo says:

    who’s vagina are we guna see first??

  2. Horse says:

    Well, we’ve already seen Vanessa Hudgens’.

  3. Jinx says:

    She doesn’t look like Lindsay, she’s got an awful nose – she’s very average looking, she’s got horrendous posture as well. The blogshere is going to push this sad little no talent girl on us because you are right, gossip is slow with a zillion sites, so this little long island no talent is going to have to written about. *le sigh*

  4. devilgirl says:

    Neither one of the Lohan skanks has any talent. I watched I know who killed me the other night and it has to be one of the worst movies of all time. Lindsey is a horrible actress, I can’t imagine Ali is going to be much better.

  5. Hattie says:

    I watched this living lohan television programme last night and i felt that ali had very little talent and i didnt really think her attitude was with it. I personally blame her mother – whos created this. And im sorry that bit at the start where she goes your not getting this on camera no non nonononononononon – argh so annoying

  6. AL says:

    Bets on how quick Ali will go the way of Jamie Lynn Spears? Or which one of the up and comers will go to rehab first? Oh, the possibilities.

  7. Donkey Punch says:

    > she’s very average looking

    Yes, but once she reaches a certain age she will get surgery and totally redone like Ashley Simpson.

  8. JS says:

    Lindsay’s acting skills prior to her discovering the joys of drugs and alcohol were pretty good. I don’t know about the sister. Somehow, I doubt it. She’s probably just mom’s attempt at another brass ring for her to leech off of.
    Long Island white trash.

  9. Melissa says:

    God damn it… she’s FUCKIN ugly. I can’t get over how much makeup this trashy little kid wears. I’d beat ass if my kid tried to step foot outside the house lookin like that.

  10. happygirrrl says:

    @Melissa: You got that right. My 17 year old looks and acts her age, not like a 45 year old hag-in-the-making. And my daughter is waaay more beautiful than Ali will ever be, with or without surgery!

  11. lollylicious says:

    they are the next generation?

    i for one am depressed by that prospect.

  12. kayla says:

    lol @ Melissa.
    yeah im 15, and i would NEVER pile on that much make-up
    it just looks soo trashy, and fake.

    and neither one of the Lohan sisters have talent.
    and Ali cannot sing at all.

  13. Just Saying says:

    Troll is perfect for her.

  14. Fleur says:

    You know that’s a very insightful comment you make about the ‘next generation’ … making it into tabloid for some of these ‘up and comers’ for want of a more derogatory expression, is the achievement. Everything else is secondary.

  15. gumball says:

    Ali looks like her father in drag.. ugh

  16. Ney says:

    Yup, a troll character will fit perfectly on her :D

  17. Anonymous says:

    she looks like a drag queen. jesus i guess we kno who the ugly sister is(ALI)

  18. emz says:

    just leave her alone

  19. emz says:

    u are all fuckin dicks just leave her alone you bullies your just jealous!!

    Have you ever watched living lohan she is super sweet and only 14 you BULLIES

    Hey ALI u rock girl xxxx

  20. Anonymous says:

    i cant get over how UGLY she is. fuck she looks like a dam hooker with all that make up on. She fits the troll part since she looks like one.
    BTW. her voice is so fake and totally worked on.

  21. cece says:

    i personallly love ali lohan i think she is beautiful and her songs are great as well:]
    keep doing what your doing ali despite what the haters say prove em wrong girly!
    <3

  22. cece says:

    i agree with emz also stop the hatingg! i dont see any of you out doing what she’s doing !
    i love you ali you have talent and im rooting for you!

  23. Ultra-perv says:

    If Lindsay Lohan gets her red hair and her big tits back, then I’ll have a threesome with the Lohan sisters. Yeeeeeaaaah!

  24. Suzy says:

    Mind me, she is ugly. Can’t believe she is 14.

  25. bobby says:

    who ever wants to send a picture like vanessa reply

  26. abraham says:

    I LOVE YOU ali!!!!!! TE AMO…..
    YOU ARE SO beautiful! Te Quiero Mucho!
    Hope to meet you!
    Your music is the most
    YOU ARE BETTER THAN Vanesa thousand times ….
    LIDNSAY is very beautiful too, expects to be a little more care …!!
    LIVING Lohan is a “must”

  27. dawg says:

    EWWW! and to think ali already has “fans”!! and by the way “cece”
    there are thousands of young actors and actresses out there trying to get into movies and working their butts off! ali hasnt had to do anything! lindsay already paved the path for her! all she did was have surgery so she could be “beutiful” but it didnt work.
    cuz guess what! shes still fugly! deal wit that!

  28. David - the nudist says:

    First of all, lay off of Ali, haters. And secondly, I wonder which character she’ll play in the new remake of Troll. I saw the 1986 version and it was funny, yet scary too. I still remember that song the trolls sang, though I can’t spell the words they sang. I think, if the remake is anything like the original storyline, Ali might play the part of Wendy…played in 1986 by Jenny Beck. Yeah, I could picture Ali as Wendy. When will the film be released?

  29. Anonymous says:

    okay,this girl is 14. i literaly thougth she was in her 30s.

  30. Heather says:

    Ali’s hair is wicked pretty! i’ve never heard her sing or watched her act but im sure she will be fine, all you guys are just comparing her to lindsay and her mom, you’re not even giving her a chance to be herself and show people what and who she wants to be, whther it’s like her sister or not. you guys are just jerks.

  31. Heather says:

    and ‘Suzy’, you’re one to talk about being ugly..at least from what i can tell from your profile picture. you’re just jeal.

  32. soy la estupida says:

    ali lohan es una cualquiera

  33. i'am the stupid sister of ali lohan my sister is a huchi mama says:

    i’am linday lohan and what always the persons talk things about me bads but is time to side you are a lahier lahier penser faither and my sister ali lohan is a huchi like me my sister and me as a girlfriends

  34. idiot says:

    idiot y ali lohan my sister

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