Robert Downey Jr. Thanks Burger King for His Sobriety

June 9th, 2008 by Evil Beet


In a new interview with Britain’s Empire magazine, Robert Downey Jr explains how Burger King helped save his life.

Robert says he was driving around with “tons of fucking dope” in his car one day when he decided to pull over and order some Burger King.

“I have to thank Burger King,” he said. “It was such a disgusting burger I ordered. I had that, and this big soda, and I thought something really bad was going to happen.”

With that, he tossed all his drugs into the ocean (Seriously, isn’t there somewhere you can go to donate that shit? Goodwill Crack? I think they have one in Lawndale.) and decided he was done with drugs for good.

I for one am personally offended by this statement. I’m glad you’re sober, Bob, but Burger King has never in its history produced a disgusting burger. Everything from Burger King is a work of culinary genius. I love Burger King. Burger King loves me. Don’t fuck with my baby, Bob.


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16 Responses to “Robert Downey Jr. Thanks Burger King for His Sobriety”

  1. serena says:

    he is one sexy older man
    i yearn for him

  2. Donkey Punch says:

    Wendy’s burgers make Burger King’s look like dog food.

  3. BeetJockin' says:

    Even though I am supposed to be on a diet, I just got done eating Burger King. And it was DELICIOUS! Either way, Robert Downey Jr. is still hot…

  4. Mercy says:

    I am offended on behalf of Burger King. Whoppers are like fine works of art, Irondouche.

  5. meg says:

    Good for Robert. He is so attractive and such a good actor, I’m glad he doesn’t do drugs anymore so we can get married. Oh wait, he’s already married…grrr…

  6. ribbet says:

    Sorry Beet, I’m with Bob. I always leave BK feeling a little sick.

    An In’n'Out Double-Double animal style puts all other burgers to shame. If he had gone to In’n'Out, he’d still be loaded or dead.

    BTW, I love reading your posts. Thanks for the many laughs.

  7. Asta says:

    So what exactly is animal style?

    Also, I love RDJ but not without facial hair.

  8. ribbet says:

    Animal style is how you order the burger with everything on it. It’s not on the order board. I’m so hungry thinking about it. Damn diets!!!

  9. joan says:

    animal style with raw onions too. yum. but whoppers aren’t too shabby either.

  10. Junkets says:

    I definitely agree with Donkey Punch. Wendy’s is amazing.

  11. Asta says:

    I miss the west coast. I want In N Out Burger RIGHT NOW.

  12. GG says:

    Didn’t Burger King just buy a huge product placement in Iron Man? Burger King is definitely better than Wendy’s<–barf!!! Wendy’s went downhill fast after Dave kicked the bucket. see: http://www.my3cents.com/search.cgi?criteria=wendys

  13. P~Cakes says:

    Your sick, Burger King is the grossest fastfood joint of them all! B.O. burgers and that pervy king mascot- god,how fucked up are u… b.t.w. saying burger king is a culinary masterpiece goes to show u how uneducated and non-worldy you are,, good try- maybe you can go there for a stinky whopper on a big date!

  14. ribbet says:

    I think someone missed the funny train. All aboard to sense of humor land!

  15. long dong silver says:

    The chicken sandwich there is great!

    But, that meat does have a weird unique flavor, kind of like elementary school cafeteria burgers!

  16. MelKa says:

    When you are high on any drug (except marijuana) any food tastes like shit.
    Specially if you’re high on coke.
    Another side effect is becoming paranoic.
    To me it wasn’t the burguer, it was the “family embiroment” these fast food places have.
    Or maybe it was the cocaine?

    Whatever.
    I LOVE him.
    Wish I had a chance to meet him (and there are like 2 o 3 celebrities I’d like to meet. He is one of them).

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