Clearly being married is not cool anymore.

Instead, I should focus on being sad that I’m not pregnant. All the cool kids are pregnant.

Here’s Alessandra Ambrosio … and her baby bump.

Ale’s about four months along — she announced in March that she and boyfriend Jamie Mazur had done some accidental baby-making in January.

Congrats, lady!

Also: Leo and I are all set up in our new apartment, where the previous resident forgot to cancel the cable TV and there’s an unsecured wireless connection I can steal to my little heart’s content! And this complex is sooo dog-friendly … there are freakin’ dogs everywhere! In the elevators, in the lobby, in the garage, everywhere! I think you actually have to have a dog to live here. They’re having Pet Appreciation Day next week. They’re gonna have “cutest pet” competitions. The complex manager says Leo is a shoe-in.

Miley Cyrus has pulled out of her first scheduled public appearance since those Vanity Fair photos hit the web.

Miley had been scheduled for weeks to participate in the Disney Channel Games, a charity competition taking place in Orlando on Friday.

No reason was given for her pulling out of the competition, but word on the street is that Disney is trying to keep her out of the spotlight until this I’m-a-good-role-model-if-you-want-your-fifteen-year -old-to-have-bedroom-hair-and-no-clothes thing blows over.

That’s right, bitches! Today is the day that me and Leo are finally free of Chez Eggplant, and get to move into our own apartment, which we will get to decorate in colors and patterns that don’t suck.

We are going to be very busy today with the move, so I probably won’t be checking in much until tomorrow.

I got the keys last night, and Leo and I went to play in the new (empty) apartment for a few minutes, during which I made a little video of Leo and me being dorks.

More pics of Leo are after the jump.

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Christina Aguilera requires a little, um, support from her husband, Jordan Bratman, as she leaves the launch party of the Crown Bar in Hollywood.

I’m sure she was just really, really tired.

Latina magazine is reporting that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon tied the knot in an impulsive, private ceremony on some island somewhere yesterday.

If it’s true, congrats, you crazy kids!

Jenna Jameson was all smiles on her way into a London nightclub, but left sobbing and was comforted in a car by her friend as photogs snapped pics.

Aw, poor Jenna. Cheer up, doll!