Katrina Bowden needs to stay the fuck away from my man.

Look at him, laughing, flirting, joking with her. Having a good time. Being charming and wonderful.

That is supposed to be me with Jason Lewis.

Bitch.

Paris Hilton popped up at Narita Airport in Tokyo today.

I assume she’s there for the MTV Japan awards tonight (or yesterday or tomorrow or whatever … Tokyo time confuses me).

Paris had been MIA for OVER A WEEK.

What was she doing????

Says a rep for the couple:

“Angelina has not given birth. She is fine, enjoying her home and her family in France.”

Hmmm.

True or false?

You decide.

That’s what the NY Post is reporting. And I really couldn’t care less, except apparently Denise Richards knows all about it, since her girls are part of the wedding, and a source says that “she may even crash the event with a camera crew.”

Oh, man. That would be amazing.

Also, Brooke is reportedly already pregnant, although of course no one will confirm that.

Pregnancy before marriage: so hot right now.

Extra is reporting that Samantha Ronson took Lindsay to the Century City hospital last night. They stayed for two hours.

No further details are available yet …

Word on the street is that Angelina has given birth to her two baby girls.

She’s reportedly named them Isla Marcheline (after Angelina’s mom) and Amelie Jane (after Brad’s mom).

RIDICULOUSLY CUTE!

CONGRATS!!!

Didn’t she used to have breasts?

Where did they go?

Maybe her bracelet scared them away.

At a party celebrating her cover of Hamptons magazine.