A fascinating interview with Ali and Dina Lohan viewable here.

Some observations:

1) Dina accidentally calls Ali “Lindsay” on two separate occasions.
2) When they’re denying Lindsay’s lesbian relationship with Samantha Ronson, neither of them can look the interviewer in the eye.
3) Both of them are totally full of shit and Ali will be in rehab in two years.

Be sure to stay tuned for the very end, when the Lohan publicist freaks the fuck out on the interviewer for daring to ask about Lindsay’s appearance in the N.E.R.D. video for cocaine ballad “Everyone Nose,” on the grounds that it’s not about the Living Lohan TV show.

Some “source” is telling Splash News that Adnan Ghalib is shopping a Britney Spears sex tape from a vacation the two went on to Mexico. A Britney Spears sex tape complete with the pink wig.

That source has a first name that rhymes with “Badnan” and a last name that rhymes with “Ghalib.” Okay, okay, the source’s last name actually is Ghalib.

“Word is that the video starts with Britney undressing,” said the insider. “She was wearing some cheap clothes that she bought down there in Rosarito. The sex wasn’t particularly kinky but Britney wears a pink wig throughout. At one point in the tape Adnan asks the singer to remove the pink bob but she refused. “Adnan tells her to take it off at one point and she says coyly, ‘Take what off? There’s nothing left to take off.’”

Ugh, I don’t really care. I mean, I’d watch a Britney Spears sex tape, because, come on, who wouldn’t?, but I don’t think I’d really be all that excited about it. I’d be way more interested just to hear, like, the inane conversations these two had in the car.

Along with the news that California is on the brink of legalizing gay marriage, these new pics of LiLo and SamRo cuddling at dinner in Paris showed up in my inbox today.

Man, so, I was psyched on this gay marriage thing, just because, like, I’m all about the whole equal rights thing, but I didn’t even consider the possibility that OMFG what if Lindsay and Samantha get married? Seriously can you guys think of anything that would be more fun for gossip??? As if these two aren’t volatile enough as it is … imagine them married! Oh please please please, let’s welcome gay marriage to California with the Lindsay/Samantha nuptials. Please!

After Sarah Jessica Parker rocked an absurd creation to the London premiere of Sex and the City, Paris Hilton shows up there to promote her new film, also wearing a ridiculous hat. It looks like something you’d wear to a funeral, if it were black.

Oh, and Benji was there, too. And he doesn’t have to change a damn thing about his wardrobe to look completely ridiculous for London. Isn’t that convenient?

Eva Longoria may have shown up wearing a bridal gown designed by her husband’s basketball team, but nothing could distract from Queen Angelina and King Brad at the Cannes Kung-Fu Panda premiere.

Angelina looks so happy!

And so skinny!

She’s reportedly going to give birth — to TWINS! — in just a couple of weeks now.

Sigh.

Shania Twain and her husband of 14 years, Robert “Mutt” Lange, have split, and everyone’s trying to come up with an original spin on a Shania lyric for the headline. So far, no one wins.

“Shania Twain and her husband, music producer Robert ‘Mutt’ Lange, are separating after 14 years of marriage,” spokesman Jason Owen says in a statement. “This is a private matter and there will be no further comment at this time.”

The couple has a six-year-old son.

Hooray for my former home state of California, which today overturned its ban on gay marriage, clearing the way for same-sex marriages in that state.

“In contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that an individual’s capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation,” the court said in the 120-page ruling, “and, more generally, that an individual’s sexual orientation — like a person’s race or gender — does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights.

“We therefore conclude that in view of the substance and significance of the fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship, the California Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to all Californians, whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well as to opposite-sex couples.”

Although this tragically means that my future gay husband Reichen Lehmkuhl can be taken officially off the market, all in all, it’s a very good thing. I’m willing to sacrifice my fantasy life with Reichen for the good of the entire gay community. That’s just the kind of selflessness I’m made of.

Okay, okay.

So it’s not exactly romantic. But it is a getaway. Mel and his wife are heading to their vacation home in Costa Rica, and Britney Spears and her papa are coming along.

I can’t even imagine what they’re all going to talk about.

The topic of Jesus will come up at some point, I’m sure.