Hey Look It’s Mars!
May 25th, 2008 by Evil Beet
Yay, Mars!
I guess they think that polygonal area on the ground is evidence of the presence of ice at some point in time. And when there’s ice, there’s water. And when there’s water, there’s the possibility of life.
Waaaaay exciting! I know what we’re likely talking about is the possibility of miniscule little amoeba who existed millions of years ago, but I have this secret hope that they’re gonna find some unimaginably adorable, small, furry, loving creatures who dance and sing and love to fold laundry and take out the trash, and their first communication with the human race will be to express, via some manner of base-twelve mathematics, their powerful desire to come to Earth and live with me and Leo. I will welcome them home and we will start our lives together. And then Jack Hanna will realize that I am the queen of the adorable animals, and then he will give me his fennec fox. And then everybody will be so glad we funded the Mars program.
Man, there’s nothing else going on right now.
Benicio del Toro took home the best actor nod at Cannes (ahem … “Prix d’interprétation masculine”) for his role in the 4-hour Stephen Soderberg opus, Che.
And Brooke Hogan got in a car wreck. The accident wasn’t her fault and no one was seriously injured.
In other news, I ate three full avocados tonight. With salt. I am so disgusting and I feel really gross right now. Did I really need that third one? I thought about it for awhile and decided I did. Now I’m reconsidering.
And most importantly, there are two very momentous television events tomorrow (Memorial Day) that I need you all to be aware of:
1) The Jon & Kate Plus 8 marathon on TLC (yay!) and
2) The Living Lohan premiere on E!
Seriously the people at E! should pay me money. They’re fucking paying the other blogs to run gay-ass “articles” that are blatantly ads for this show while I am genuinely expressing my excitement over this for FREE. Which is worth waaaaaaaay more than some stupid ad. PAY ME, BITCHES!!!
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May 25th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Whatever happened to that 10th planet? It had a really funky name.
By the way, how’s the no-smoking thing going?
May 25th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Gah! Why can’t someone flash their poonanie or something! I’m so bored!!! I hate the internet on the weekends. Especially holiday weekends. Damn those people with actual lives.
May 25th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
um, avocado with salt? is that normal…? pardon me if it is, just sounds a little odd.
May 25th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Actually, avocado with salt sounds delish right about now! Try it with sme sliced sharp chedder, probably not the healthiest snack but damn,sure beats the hell outta a nicotine craving!
May 26th, 2008 at 12:00 am
this is so cool!
thanks for keeping me posted on space stuffs!
i call a furry creature too!!
May 26th, 2008 at 1:50 am
Your opinion is worth way more than at least ten other celebrity bloggers!
May 26th, 2008 at 2:22 am
well , if the ancient Martians went down the road we Earthlings appears to be going down , with the pollution and contamination , the only things poor ol` Phoenix is gunna find are empty bottles which once upon a time contained cool clear fresh bottled water !!
May 26th, 2008 at 6:39 am
Yay.
May 26th, 2008 at 8:09 am
jon and kate plus 8?!? my first thought this morning was, “i wonder if there will be any good TV on today—a jon and kate plus 8 marathon would be nice”
May 26th, 2008 at 8:10 am
Okay, so you had three avocados, but did you smoke? If you avoided the smokes, then the avocados shouldn’t bother you, but if you smoked, then you SHOULD feel gross.
May 26th, 2008 at 8:35 am
3 avocados is like 2000 calories. how is that worse than a cigarette.
May 26th, 2008 at 9:37 am
hahah! I want a martian too if they’re like that!
and a fennec fox
xo
May 26th, 2008 at 9:54 am
That’s why I love this site–avocados, the Lohans, Mars, upskirts, small cute dogs–it’s all here! You know what’s really good with avocados? balsamic vinegar. I could probably eat four or five that way. And yes, inquiring minds want to know–how’s the no-smoking going? If you fall off that horse, just get right back on!
May 26th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Last I was aware of Joan, avocados didn’t cause cancer, emphasema, and high blood pressure. You must have some health data that the rest of us don’t!
May 26th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Actually avocados help raise your HDL level. But too much can also raise triglycerides. So they’re good for you, AND evil. My favorite way to chow down on avocados is with fresh tomatoes (gotta be vine ripened) and fresh sage leaves between two slices of toast.
However you like ‘em Evil, go for it.
May 27th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
devilgirl, ‘emphasema’? You must have a spell check that the rest of us don’t.