BREAKING: John Mayer Has a Huge Penis

May 18th, 2008 by Evil Beet


Oh, I love stories like this.

The NY Daily News has a bit about how Jennifer Aniston’s friends think it’s way out of character how hard she’s falling for John.

But there’s an explanation!

He has a huge cock!

“She’s just so happy and giggly. It is completely out of character,” said one spy.

The reason can’t just be that she is dating John Mayer. No one is that happy with Jessica Simpson’s sloppy seconds. What we hear is there is a certain feature of John that leaves Jen so pleased. The crooner’s ex-paramours reveal he is hell to get over, not because he’s a great guy, but because he’s a “great” guy, if you know what we mean.

“His body actually is a wonderland,” one ex was overheard saying.

The moral of the story: Women are totally willing to put up with a cheating womanizer, as long as he’s packing where it counts.

Sheesh.


Before you leave a comment, please make sure you've read our Guide to Commenting. It could save you a great deal of embarrassment.

94 Responses to “BREAKING: John Mayer Has a Huge Penis”

  1. the smart girl says: says:

    OMG…!!!!!!!!!!!
    u are all just so pervet
    im fucking dont care abaut if John Mayer has a huge penis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. tip says:

    I am happy to see this site so much. It is always nice to hear such good news as your site.

  3. Bi guy says:

    Prove it! If he has a huge penis…coz I’ll love it..

  4. john says:

    Prove it! If he has a huge penis…coz I’ll love it..

  5. mike says:

    I worked out in the same gym with John. He is gigantic.

  6. ok then says:

    hes fugly, like it matters

  7. Fab-U-lous says:

    This story would be better IF WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE THE PENIS!
    … who wants to hear talk about how big is it, show us some photos damnit lol

  8. Isabisa says:

    Oh my, what a yummy thought..

  9. anonymous tony says:

    hes done so much coke he looks like Marc Anthony

  10. gay boy josh says:

    lets see a picture then so i can have a wank over it

  11. big daddio says:

    i have a biger dick then that goon

  12. pitoy says:

    its nothing compared to mine….

  13. Justin says:

    Shooot . . . I’d be giddy to if John Mayer was puttin’ his hog in me everynight.;)

  14. susan says:

    i seen his penis cuz i wanted to suck it and it is hude-i nvr sucked it though-i wish i did..

  15. celine says:

    I LIKE UR ASS!!!I’m available.

  16. e says:

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. juhh says:

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwww……

  18. 2sexy4u says:

    i’ll believe you if i can see a picture. but, if you want to, you can just post it online so every can see. im sure im not the only one who wants to see. by the way, im not a weirdie. im just…………………………hmmmmmmmmm……………………………curious.

  19. iLUVLovE says:

    HE LOOKS GOOD. I totally agree with 2sexy4u.This page just NEEDS a pic, or several pics…
    Anyway, y do they know that this John Mayer guy’s got giant uknowwats!!
    Did they see him in the showers or did they pull his pants down?!
    PS. I would luv a reply.!

  20. iLivE2BgrosS says:

    I fucked with John last yr. Yep. Seriously giant. i just sort of squeezed it, then he wet the sheets, phisically.i wos grossed out i vowed im never gonna fuck again

  21. Oooh says:

    seriously, you guys fuck?Gross!
    & how old are you guys.
    This John guy looks creepy!

  22. mommmm says:

    wtf im a lardo ur all lame godd your so retarted

  23. woogey says:

    i know this is a gossip column thereby it is not really savvy for smart people to hang out here but can’t you think of other things to at least fight about. I mean, just because someone doesn’t want to hear about a penis does not mean they are gay, actually, they are just smart. It’s a dumb topic. Either it works or it doesn’t.

  24. zap says:

    yeah, i bet i agree with u, woogey watever smartypants, but this is a gossip site, duhh.
    So save the ggoody talk 4 ur know it all friends.
    hey, sure johns real?(hahaha)

  25. greg says:

    rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrri dont like woogey, he messed up this site.i 0rder u woogey, write a reply for this and never enter a gossip site again! understand?

  26. Anonymous says:

    what the fuck!!!! you gay lords!!! if you like pussy stick your cock in her ass! you guys are bich shit!!!

  27. your mom says:

    what the fuck!!!! you gay lords!!! if you like pussy stick your cock in her ass! you guys are bich shit!!!

  28. your mom says:

    what the fuck!!!! you gay lords!!! if you like pussy stick your cock in her ass! you guys are bich shit!!!

  29. your mom says:

    what the fuck!!!! you gay lords!!! if you like pussy stick your cock in her ass! you guys are bich shit!!!

  30. your mom says:

    what the fuck!!!! you gay lords!!! if you like pussy stick your cock in her ass! you guys are bich shit!!!

  31. Anonymous says:

    frsit all of you guys are fuckin ass holes!!!if you like pussy go suck your moms and put your cock in her ass!

  32. Anonymous says:

    frsit all of you guys are fuckin ass holes!!!if you like pussy go suck your moms and put your cock in her ass!

  33. Anonymous says:

    frsit all of you guys are fuckin ass holes!!!if you like pussy go suck your moms and put your cock in her ass!

  34. Anonymous says:

    I want to have a gay sex with any hot guy! I want to suck the fucking penis and i’ll let you fuck my ass hole

  35. cuntjizz says:

    look, all you retards. the jury is out of this guy’s hose dimensions until we see proof. if aniston is into this guy, all that means is he’s a butt-wipe, since she’s got a proven history for seeking out abusive men to kick her around. i read in the post that mayer likes to puff on cigs while self-abusing cunts like her suck his dick. they deserve it.

  36. Rules says:

    good to heard

  37. getwithit says:

    its uncut pencil-dick. <6″. but he’s down-to-earth. and he quit smoking—and he’s really brilliant

  38. Ragin Cajun says:

    How big is his “huge cock” I think she just was happy to say that is was bigger than the last guy she was fucking.

Leave a Reply