BREAKING: John Mayer Has a Huge Penis

May 18th, 2008 by Evil Beet


Oh, I love stories like this.

The NY Daily News has a bit about how Jennifer Aniston’s friends think it’s way out of character how hard she’s falling for John.

But there’s an explanation!

He has a huge cock!

“She’s just so happy and giggly. It is completely out of character,” said one spy.

The reason can’t just be that she is dating John Mayer. No one is that happy with Jessica Simpson’s sloppy seconds. What we hear is there is a certain feature of John that leaves Jen so pleased. The crooner’s ex-paramours reveal he is hell to get over, not because he’s a great guy, but because he’s a “great” guy, if you know what we mean.

“His body actually is a wonderland,” one ex was overheard saying.

The moral of the story: Women are totally willing to put up with a cheating womanizer, as long as he’s packing where it counts.

Sheesh.


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35 Responses to “BREAKING: John Mayer Has a Huge Penis”

  1. cass Says:

    That’s silly… Size actually doesn’t count… A not so “great” man can do way more in bed than a “great” man if he knows what he is doing…

  2. PETE Says:

    http://top-videoz.com/index.php?q=john-mayer-porn-video - uhh hot stuffff

  3. Caz Says:

    Well I’d certainly hope so; something has to compensate for that face….

  4. Gabriela Says:

    Is he Michael Jackson?

  5. devilgirl Says:

    My ex was HUGE, but unlike Jessica and Jennifer, I couidn’t put up with his lying,cheating ways. It was good, but not that good!

  6. Alan Says:

    Why doesn’t she just buy herself a huge dildo and stuff that up her twat.

  7. Melissa Says:

    My goodness… he’s so adorable in that picture! **swoon**

    And Cass, I’ll agree whole-heartedly! It’s all about what he’s packin in that mouth :P

  8. JK aka Mr. NYC Says:

    I am having fun with my old roommate’s girl.

  9. Priscilla Says:

    he is such an ugly jerk!

  10. ricardo Says:

    a smirk like that only comes with a big dick

  11. Anonymous Says:

    Men with big dicks generally act like a big dick.

  12. MelKa Says:

    If you’ve ever tried BIG (I mena really big), you KNOW that you’d be totally willing to put up with a cheating womanizer.
    If you never tried it, don’t speak of what you don’t know. Get back to me after you did.

  13. FrozeRightHere Says:

    Different strokes for different folks, I guess - I’ve had BIG & frankly, BIG can be kinda painful. Like your cervix is being rammed into your throat. Never mind the gag reflex it can trigger during oral sex. Plus I’ve found that some BIG guys think they can skate by on size alone & neglect skill. Not saying I want SMALL (sorry, the caps crack me up) but MEDIUM will do me just fine thank you.

  14. iiirene Says:

    uhhuhh.
    hes hot. end of storyyyyy

  15. anon69 Says:

    we saw the lime green thong picture. That boy is all taters. Can’t be size-must be his technique.

  16. Donkey Punch Says:

    What is with all these stories this week of celebs with big dicks? First Sean Connery and Johnny Depp. Now this guy.

    Do they all share the same PR person?

  17. Alex S. Says:

    haha- Good one Donkey! I agree with Froze. Medium please, with a great everything else. I’m a lucky gal. John Mayer is very good looking most of the time, but he’s got that effeminate thing going on that, personally, leaves something to be desired.

  18. GG Says:

    over-rated to say the least. Jen is just confused and desperately seeking a stable relationship. Hopefully she will come to her senses. This guy is a jerk and really not very attractive.

  19. rachael Says:

    LMAO, THAT TOTALY MAKES SENSE!

    AND CASS, YES IT DOES COUNT.

  20. Janie Says:

    Have it ever dawned on you sweet ladies that you are being feed a pack of garbage by a PR agency? well you are.
    They need to puff up John Mayer’s image so they are leaking all of this garbage. You guys are feeding right into it.

  21. Media Brain washing at it's best Says:

    It will not work on me. He is not all that.
    He is a sleezy douchg bag for sure. Jen is desperate since she is almost 40. This guy really accent her being 40 years old, her people are making a mistake linking her with him. I think it tears her image down too much.

  22. Sharon Says:

    For Jen or her people to have leaked this garbage shows she has no class. I see why everyone is calling her a Sl*t.
    She opens up to alot of men.

  23. Maggie Says:

    I SO agree with ‘MelKa’!!!
    If you’ve never been with a guy with a huge cock, you can’t understand.
    I was, 15 years ago, and STILL think about it! Even though my husband is bigger than average and very good in bed. You just can’t help it!

  24. kellie cruz Says:

    I just like dick. you could say i’m a freak for the meat!!

  25. Terrie Says:

    She went from Brad Pitt, who allegedly is rather small, to Mayer, who, if you believe the hype, is packing. Of COURSE she’s giddy as a schoolgirl! PR, shme R–given all the hotties he’s bagged, there’s gotta be some truth to the rumor. I’d love to know what the deal is with David Spade and Zach Braff too. Seriously.

    And yeah, MelKa, you speak the truth. I’ve been seeing my “Mr Big” for over 16 years–cheated on every BF I had with him–and I ain’t NEVER letting that thang go :D Don’t kid yourselves, fellas; size DOES count…

  26. Chris Says:

    How does 5 inches do for you?

  27. teo Says:

    i love it

  28. anders Says:

    wow jen likes john ramming her up..good to know she loves being rammed haha..i’d say cock size is more important than balls size as balls the gals can pretty much lick and slurp it all in one go..either way it just feels good so why should size matter when ur feeling good getting a blow or giving it. xD

  29. ShalovesMen Says:

    SLUTZ!

  30. Willy Wonka Says:

    Kellie cruz - You should try my messenger (; If your so much into the meat stuff ;o) .. Seriously !

  31. Jay24 Says:

    Well, I just wanna say its not about the size. Don’t mean to offend anyone but i have 9 1/2 inches, and i girlfriend always complain about pain. i think regular is best.

  32. Jayde Says:

    It’s not the size of the penis that counts because it’s the asshole attached to it that is going to break your heart.

  33. john logan Says:

    Hey Anonymous, I have a big dick and I don’t act like a big dick. On the contrary, I am more like ricardo’s comment. I usually have a big smirk or a goofy grin on my face. And to respond to Jay24’s comment. I am just over 9 myself and very thick. My girlfriend also complains about my size. She is small so I have to give her that. But when she is really into it, pain is often replaced by immense pleasure. Besides, my ex’s never complained and still call me for more. I politely oblige……LOL.

  34. john logan Says:

    Yeah MelKa, you are so right and everyone else who agrees with her statement. Not that I have tried big meat but I am the proud owner of big meat and I have seen the reaction on womens faces. Priceless…talk about an American Express commercial…..LOL. MelKa, kellie cruz and anyone else interested in big meat should feel free to contact me.

  35. Shane Says:

    that’s totally hott i’d love to see his cock

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