Today Is Not a Fun Day to Be Jessica Simpson
May 14th, 2008 by Evil Beet
Poor Jessica!
News broke this morning that she and Tony Romo had split. Ouch.
And after that, Glamour released their interview with her, where she’s cooing over how very wonderful Tony is. Embarrassing!
And now Us Weekly’s talking about how goddamn drunk Jessica got the day that former flame John Mayer went public with his new relationship with Jennifer Aniston.
The 27-year-old singer was so out of it after a four-hour session of drinking at L.A.’s Mexicali Cocina Cantina on May 10 – which started at the pre-happy hour of 4 p.m. with BFF CaCee Cobb and her beau Donald Faison – that she was reduced to leaving her Range Rover in the parking lot and calling her mom Tina for a ride home, Us reports (for good measure, CaCee Cobb threw up under the table).
Well, at least she didn’t try to drive home.
Rumors are beginning to swirl that Tony dumped Jessica because it was so obvious she wasn’t over John Mayer.
Aw, Jess. I got your back, girl! You get good and drunk, honey. Get good and drunk for the both of us, because men totally blow ass … except for the ones who read my blog. You guys rock!
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Thanks for the compliment beet.
I volunteer to comfort Jessica. She is dumb as they come but that isn’t a bad thing.
none of this stuff sounds remotely true.
Jessica Jessica Jessica. I really do feel bad for you. Wish I was there to put a few back and talk about the good times…. while stealing your shoes.
Because I am licking my wounds, I have made several references about my recent break up on many of these posts. I guess I should probably go and get a good drunk on, puke, and get him out of my system. You are right Beet, men do suck ass. Not the readers here, but most do. They lie, use and abuse those of us that are good to them. I can’t figure it out. A friend once told me “The dirtier you treat men, the better they like you” I always scoffed at the notion, but now I am thinking my friend was right on the money. Jessica, if you are reading this: I will gladly go out and tie a good one on with you.
Man, poor girl. Well, major, major points for her for being the one celebrity in Hollywood to realize that no, you can’t drive home smashed.
I feel your pain, Beet!
oh stop excluding the ones who post here. you know they suck their share of ass.
oh please tony only wants one thing in a relationship and everone knows what it is..
I wonder if Jennifer Aniston is bright enough to realize that this is what she has to look forward to once John Mayer gets tired of fucking her and dumps her ass. I doubt it.
I was chatting with my 72 yr old mother about Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer and she said “Oh, doesn’t he date everybody?” Too funny.
LOL suzie! You mom sounds hilarious!
was CaCee Cobb the one that dated nicks brother when they were dong the show?
As one of the men I’m glad that I rock. I would be more than willing to be a rebound screw for JS. She seems a tasty morsel
Yarg! ‘Tis a tasty morsel indeed!
everytime i read stories like this about jessica i don’t believe them. honestly, she really seems like a great girl. why do men loose interest? i still think they’re together, though. this could just be another false story. :-/
>oh stop excluding the ones who post here. you know they suck their share of ass.
No matter how much you beg I am not going near your fat ass.
Sometimes, when I’m reading this site, I am firmly convinced that some of you posters are the funniest people I’ve ever not met. Sorry you got dumped, Jessica, but your dad really shouldn’t be your manager. Single men find that scary stuff.
Jessica Simpson just got lot hotter….. Watch her videos at http://tinyurl.com/4c7rg6
Yay for men that read the BEET!
ah Jess…….you truly are the last of the great ‘airheads’.
How do you not spot this shit coming from these slimy guys? We , the masses and peasants , are able to see it all approaching from vast distances !!
oh……and cheers Beet ! :)
>No matter how much you beg I am not going near your fat ass.
i knew you wouldnt miss that chance to reply, dear. ty for being so predictable.
Nick’s not looking so bad anymore, is he? After that Chicken of The Sea comment, I’d have hired a sniper.
i heard thats not true at all. it even says so in people. they are still together…
All I know is that Jessica Simpson is one of the sexiest and most beautiful women on the planet ! If you have any doubts, check out my gallery of HOT pics of her at:
http://galleryofbeautifulwomen.blogspot.com/2008/02/jessica-simpson.html
Cheers !