The Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape?
I swear to you, if they had video cameras in the caveman era, we’d have footage of caveman celebrities giving blow jobs. Did they have celebrities in the caveman era? I bet they did, but they were probably, like, warrior heroes or something. I bet they’d've made videos of their warrior heroes clubbing women and dragging them off to have sex. And trying to shove, like, warrior wine canisters up their vaginas. You think kinkiness is a modern world thing? I bet not. I bet some of those ancient caveman “artifacts” they have in museums were up a vagina at some point in time. Why do I think like this? I’m so weird.
Anyway.
The New York Post is reporting that there may be a Marilyn Monroe sex tape in circulation. It shows Marilyn performing oral sex on a man whose face is outside the camera frame.
I guess the original was confiscated by the FBI (Seriously? The FBI can confiscate sex tapes? Could they just, like, confiscate Paris Hilton? And redact most parts of her? Please?), but an illegal copy was made years ago, and recently sold on the black market for $1.5 million. The buyer is an unidentified man known only as a “wealthy New York businessman.”
Oh, you know this is Donald Trump.
Says the man who brokered the deal: “He said he’s just going to lock it up. He said, ‘I’m not going to make a Paris Hilton out of her. I’m not going to sell it, out of respect.’”
This is such bullshit. You know what this is? This is the best way to get new clients in the history of wealthy New York businessmen. You know this dude’s all cold-calling people and being like, “Hey, sign this deal with me, and I’ll have you over for a screening of the Marilyn Blow Job tape.”
It’s soooo Donald Trump.
Side note: I LOVE this picture of Marilyn. You know why? Because she looks like she weighs about what I weigh. And she was STILL a sex symbol. Love it!
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April 15th, 2008 at 6:00 am
Yeh, she’s cushy…..guys like that.
1.5 mil……that’s a good deal for Donald. …….beans
April 15th, 2008 at 6:34 am
WOW!!!
Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape…
I find full version of this video and in better quality at: http://www.yuotuhe.com/watch?v=2bZDcInWojB
April 15th, 2008 at 6:36 am
you can delete them… but the morons just won’t go the fuck away.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:20 am
You know what I love about the picture? There’s not a single hotel or condo in sight. (sigh, the good old days)
April 15th, 2008 at 8:36 am
“And trying to shove, like, warrior wine canisters up their vaginas.”
Really Beet, you will lose this reader if you write smut like that. I enjoy your writing put that crosses boundaries.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:39 am
The tape has been in circulation for a while if you read and do your research correctly.
The 1.5 million dollars was for the the “ONLY COPY” of the original. Still weird of that dude to buy it though.
April 15th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Hey, you’ll love it. TOTALLY SHOCKING Marilyn Monroe original video >> http://blog-x.in/index.php?q=Marilyn-Monroe no comments…
April 15th, 2008 at 10:23 am
I was TOTALLY thinking what you wrote, about how luscious M.M. is in this pic! Love the sexiness of cushion! The rest of the stuff… good reporting, but hell, we’ve all given blow jobs! (Well, the majority of us.) We just weren’t all filmed doing it. No biggie!
April 15th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Marilyn does look luscious in this pic, and in many other pics, for that matter. She remains one of the best exemplars of ‘curvy.’
I appreciate your assumption that the wealthy NY businessman was DT. And I might be in the smaller group on this, but I hope that the tape never sees the public light of day. I’ll appreciate Marilyn, flawed that she was, without the modern day salaciousness.
April 15th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
I really didn’t like this entry.
April 15th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Contrary to what Shannon said - I thought that what you wrote was pretty funny beet! And I think that since it’s your blog you should write what you want.
April 15th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Shannon,
The smut is a reference to a modern celebrity sex tape. I laughed my ass off. Good one, beet.
April 15th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Yeah, my first thought on seeing this pic was “why can’t we go back to this standard of beauty?” I would be a goddess! Dang, I’m actually thinner than she is in this picture, and I wouldn’t be caught dead exposing my thighs, tummy or upper arms in public anymore. Whine. I’m sick of seeing Heidi Montag-type bodies all over the media, feeling like crap about myself because I don’t look like that, and then going to the mall and realizing I’m still thinner than like 95% of the people there. Okay, I live in NC where morbid obesity is the state pastime, but whatever. Please, God, before I die, let this standard of beauty come back!
April 15th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
NSFW
Fred Durst Sex Tape?!
Exclusive hot video here:
http://scandalous-news.com/video.html?v=Fred_Durst_Sex_Tape
April 15th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Actually, Monroe was rumored to be a size 14 (which is like today’s size 10-12). And Liz Hurley said she’d hate to be fat like Marylin was. So actually beet, you’re smaller than she was.
April 15th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
I believe that I read somewhere that there is a sex tape (locked up in some government vault) of Lady Di sucking some guy’s cock. Actually, I think it’s a pretty safe bet that most, if not all, female celebrities have had a guy’s cock in their mouths from time to time.
April 21st, 2008 at 8:58 am
it sucks show us the video
April 25th, 2008 at 5:29 am
!! ATTENTION !!
I watched Marilyn Monroe full sex tape ONLY at [LINK]
She so HOT ! !
May 3rd, 2008 at 2:04 am
stop posting spyware/virus/crappy links you idiot sand do us a favor and commit suicide you pathetic worthless bad-DNA fat gays (I’m talking about noneshallol, drderekdf3, tonyminigan, and frank-the-faggot)
May 10th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Marilyn Monroe Topless and Naked in Private Sex Tape! It’s really worth seeing!
http://yetmorefun.net/mov.php?v=Marilyn_Monroe_Nude_Video
May 27th, 2008 at 2:37 am
Oh my god! Take a look at this! Buckeey Sex Tape!
http://buckeey-sex-tape.blogspot.com/
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:22 pm
She wouldnt have become a sex symbol if she was always this size. She became a sex smbol when she was much more petit and younger.. the fact that she continued to sleep with the rich and famous kept her in the spotlight, and kept her a sex symbol.
Sorry fatties.. its not gonna happen. OH .. well you’ll be considered hot by the increasing number of chubby men that we have, but not among the healthy.
July 4th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Well, honestly you all are sorta …. WRONG. Marilyn Monroe was loved for her size. She was the deffinition of “Curvy” she was a beatiful girl. I don’t think she looks as if she weighs a ton in this pic at all, yes she is bigger than your modern skinny mini but I believe that her figure was way better than some popsicle stick looking girl with no curves.Don’t take this as if I am some huge chick posting this because I am the girl at school who runs miles a day. And here’s a quote from her “Sex is a part of nature, I just go along with nature” and ya know what? That is totally true. So the fact that there is a sex tape of hers out there somewhere is nothing huge, leave her alone. She was a pretty girl that did some… wild stuff. And she was flawed but she was great.