The girls over at Hollyscoop are claiming they have it on good authority that Beyonce Knowles is “100% pregnant, which is why the couple rushed their wedding.”

Man, I love it when people say things like “100% pregnant.” The alternative is something like “Beyonce Knowles is 75% pregnant. The other quarter of the fetus is in Jessica Simpson’s uterus. Long story.”

Anyway, the source goes on to claim that everyone at Beyonce’s (still unconfirmed) wedding was well aware that she was pregnant, and that she was rushing the wedding due to her strong Christian beliefs.

If it’s true, Beyonce, we wish you all the best.

Sopranos star Edie Falco adopted a baby girl named Macy from Florida in February.

From Florida? In February?

Um, did I miss the major tectonic plate shift that resulted in Florida being a part of Africa? I mean, it’s not like I ever read non-celeb news, so it’s possible it just never came across my radar, but that seems unlikely, because doesn’t Jennifer Lopez own a home in Miami? I definitely would have heard about Jennifer Lopez’s Miami home and the tectonic plates beneath it moving to Africa. I’m just going to go ahead and assume that Florida is still a part of the United States, like it was the last time I took geography.

So let me get this straight, Edie. You adopted a child from America? And you didn’t immediately issue a press release?

What kind of a fucking celebrity are you? I get it, I get it. You’re embarrassed that your adopted kid isn’t from Africa. It’s kind of like when you get a new pair of jeans at Express and you like them, you really do, but you don’t really want to advertise that you got them from Express because, like, all the cool kids are wearing Paper Denim. I feel for you, Edie.

Enjoy the kiddo.

This is a BRILLIANT take on the photo shoot Miley Cyrus did for Vanity Fair.

To see the video it’s mocking, click here.

American Pie’s Jason Biggs tied the knot last week, getting hitched to Jenny Mollen, his girlfriend of nine months, in a private ceremony at City Hall in LA. There were no friends and family present.

Says a source: “Jason and Jenny agreed that they did not want to deal with the whole family thing because it would have been too stressful on both of them. They thought it would be a lot more relaxing to do it just the two of them with no pressure. It was a very private wedding and that is exactly how they wanted it … They are so in love that all that mattered to them was just getting married, whether there were frills or not.”

Um … translation: Jason’s family was like “Do not fucking get married when you’ve only known the girl for nine months! For chrissake, she might turn into a werewolf each June for all you know! At least get a pre-nup!” And Jason was like, “Fuck off, I love her,” and this will end in disaster.

The two are currently on their honeymoon in Hawaii.

Congrats, kids.

Okay, look, I’m typically the last person to think she can turn a gay man straight, but, in the case of Reichen Lehmkuhl, I just can’t give up hope. He’s so ridiculously hot. And I interviewed him once, and he’s also charming and funny and smart and amazing and was ever-so-tolerant of my endless attempts to subtly hit on him (and by subtly I mean I announced, right in front of his boyfriend, “I know you’re gay but will you just consider dating me?”). I have to have him. And so when Trent over at PITNB noticed that Reichen’s MySpace status had been changed to “Single,” along with a scathing note to … uh … someone, my little heart skipped a beat. Could it be that Reichen is single again? Is it time for me to start developing my magical turn-a-gay-man-straight powers?

Later, Reichen changed his page again, apologizing for his “childish remarks,” and stating — although no one believes him — that they “weren’t describing anyone I have actually dated.” It’s hard to read it, though, because who the fuck can take their eyes off his stomach?

Reichen, baby. Vagina can be so, so beautiful. Promise me you’ll think about it.

Holly Madison and the rest of the brain trust over at Playboy are looking for a very special lady to represent Playboy’s 55th anniversary … on YouTube.

They’re taking submissions starting now, and they’ll begin to post them next week. The videos must show off the girl’s body, personality, and contain no nudity (sad face!).

The best submissions will be honored with a trip to Los Angeles for an exciting two days with the Playboy team that will include: a Playboy pictorial that will appear on Playboy.com, a tour of the world-renowned Playboy Mansion, participation in a catalog fashion shoot featuring Playboy’s latest apparel collections, and a private Playmate test-shoot with Holly Madison that could result in one of the winners being selected as the prized 55th Anniversary Playmate for Playboy magazine’s January 2009 issue.

Oh man.

This is gonna be fun.

Here’s the always-stunning Catherine Zeta Jones on the set of her new film, Rebound. I think she and Michael Douglas decided, as a couple, that he was doing enough goddamn aging for the both of them, so she just stopped.

More pics of Catherine on the set after the jump.

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Cougar power!

The 38-year-old hottie and songstress is engaged to 27-year-old Nick Cannon, according to a source close to the couple.

Nick was engaged to Selita Ebanks for awhile, but that never actually happened, so this’ll be the first marriage for Nick if it happens. Mariah, of course, was married to Tommy Mottola for five years.

I just can’t hate on Mariah. I want to, I do, but I kind of love her. I’m obsessed with her new album, and I hope to be able to score 27-year-old hotties when I’m approaching 40.