If I’m going to run that Barack Obama “Yes We Can” video, it’s only fair I give Hillary her chance to be endorsed by random celebs.

I guess all that’s left is for a celebrity to make a John McCain ad. We’re waiting, Hollywood.

I don’t know that there’s a Hollywood relationship I care less about — actually, that’s not true, I care about Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen slightly less — but, for those of you who do care, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gylllllenhaaaaal were out shopping together in NYC this weekend.

So there.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I mean, there’s nothing wrong with her. She’s just some random actress who generally does a good job of staying out of the tabloids, but whenever I see a picture of her, I’m just annoyed. I know it’s totally unfair of me. I mean, I have absolutely no basis for this feeling, it just comes.

Here’s Amy at a screening for Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day in NYC

(Side note: As I was typing in Amy’s name, I kept spelling it “Amy Adamns.” I did this like three times in a row, and couldn’t figure out why I insisted on putting an “n” in her name. Then it occurred to me that I’m just so used to typing the word “damn” that my fingers type “dam” and just assume an “n” should come next. I need to be hospitalized.)

Um, so the British media is reporting that the Hells Angels planned to kill Mick Jagger back in the ’60s. They were going to attack his house by sea, but a storm tossed them all overboard from their little attack vessel.

Clearly the Hells Angels should stick to motorcycles. Sailing doesn’t seem to be their forte.

Check out Hillary Clinton on SNL this weekend. This is the short version. The long version is after the jump.

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“Let me make this as plain as possible – Benji did not leave me for Paris Hilton. Benji and I did not break up badly or anything like that. We both decided, as adults, our relationship had run its course and decided to move on. I feel no animosity towards Benji and Paris at all and am very happy with life at the moment.”

Sophie Monk, to Australia’s Herald Sun.

I give this girl mad props for not pulling a Shanna Moakler and being all like “Paris Hilton needs to take her Valtrex.” You’re a classy broad, Sophie.

So, per usual, I’m having an awful day. When I feel like I’ve finally lived through the worst of the awful days, it seems I learn there’s an even worse one on the horizon. I certainly hope you’re having fun here, God.

But just when I think that absolutely, positively nothing could make me crack a smile today, there’s Paris Hilton. And her frappuccino. And her shaman.

Thank you, Paris. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.