Here’s Ivanka Trump, hosting some sort of golf thing for women in NYC.

I love how, most of the time, she’s holding the golf club as though she might break into song and dance with it, like Gene Kelly with an umbrella. Oh, if only the skies could open up and rain golf balls on her head.

This girl doesn’t know a thing about golf. Looking great in heels, though? She’s got that part down.

I’m so into this girl. There’s just something about her. She interesting and cool-looking and the camera loves her and she hates the camera and it’s all just so damn beautiful to watch. She’s everything that Rumer tries so hard to be — she just does it effortlessly. Oh, Tallulah, I can’t wait until you grow up and hit the party scene and there can be pictures of you every day and I can just wallow in your wonderfulness.

Here’s Tallulah with mom Demi Moore leaving a private party in Hollywood. She hid her face from the paps in every picture in this set except for this one, where she looks just thrilled to be photographed.

Sweet Tallulah, be mine forever!

Update: Yeah, this is Scout, not Tallulah. Never trust the paparazzi. What’s really sad, though, is that she’s still way more interesting on camera than Rumer, who seems to be the only one of the Willis-ettes who actually wants to be famous.

This was, hands-down, my favorite movie as a child. I was obsessed with it. Do you guys know the movie I’m talking about? With the super-powered kids and the bad guys trying to exploit them? And they had a really cool ice cream parlor? And a puppet theater? Remember, guys???

The film — released originally in 1975 — is being remade by Disney and titled Race to Witch Mountain.

They’ve cast The Rock in the good guy role, and some Irish guy named Ciaran Hinds as the bad guy. As for Tia and Tony, they’re being played by AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig.

They better do this movie justice!

Brit-Brit went to Millenium Dance Studios again, accompanied by who I assume is her latest friend-for-hire, laughing her ass off at one of Britney’s trademark not-funny jokes. Britney was probably just like, “I farted, ya’ll,” and this girl’s all like “AHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA! You are a fountain of wit, Britney!” and then Britney was all like, “Wit and farts!” and then the girl just peed herself laughing so hard.

Also, if you look closely, you can see that there’s a girl in a white tank and jeans laying down in the back seat. What’s up with that, ya’ll? She’s probably hiding from Britney’s fart.

Hillary Clinton won the all-important democratic primaries in Texas and Ohio on Tuesday.

And Mike Huckabee swept the Republican vote. Nah, I’m kidding, McCain won Texas and Huckabee’s ass finally dropped out.

It’s anyone’s game still, kids.

So I wrote yesterday about how American Idol contestant David Hernandez used to dance fully nude at gay strip clubs. And I also wrote about how the American Idol producers were all like, “Yeah, that’s okay with us, it was just his job, no biggie.”

And at first I was all like, “Yeah, that’s all good. I don’t think it’s a big deal either.”

And then I’m driving to my friend’s house to play Guitar Hero (that’s my new obsession) and I’m just in my car, drinking my Red Bull, enjoying my life, and all of a sudden I’m like, “Holy shit. What about Frenchie Davis?”

Frenchie, if you’ll recall, was the fan favorite booted from American Idol in 2003 after producers learned she’d posed for topless photos on a racy website. At the time, Frenchie was all like, “Dude, I was doing it to pay for college,” but the producers at Fox were all like, “We don’t care. You’re out.”

I interviewed Frenchie on camera at an event in Hollywood about six months ago. Before the interview began, her publicist pulled me aside and was like, “Whatever you do, do not ask her about American Idol. Don’t even say the words. She doesn’t want to talk about it.” So obviously it’s still a sore subject. (And, for the record, the interview started off really rough — she was guarded and rude and I hated her — but once it became clear that I was not going to make her talk about American Idol, she was a total sweetheart and we had a great time. It turns out her best friend is Eva Pigford — the ANTM winner — and she told me this really cute story about how Frenchie had to move out of her NYC apartment on short notice but was really busy with auditions and shows, so Eva came over while she was gone and packed up her entire apartment for her. That’s a true friend.)

So why is David’s stripper past a non-issue, while Frenchie’s topless photos were cause for expulsion?

When the nude photos of Antonella Barba surfaced last season, this same issue came up. But I get the difference. Antonella took those pictures privately and they leaked, whereas Frenchie’s pictures were taken for pay and public consumption. But I don’t get the difference here. Both David and Frenchie got naked for pay. Professionally. And legally, I might add.

Why is David’s past somehow more palatable for the producers? Is it more acceptable for men to take their clothes off for money? I demand an explanation.

I love me some Ally Hilfiger.

I know she’s like a Z-list celebrity, but, come on, people, I also know you watched Rich Girls and loved it despite yourselves.

When she’s not busy being a reality TV star, or producing documentaries or fashion shows or vomit, Ally Hilfiger is painting. And, on Tuesday night, she debuted her latest set of paintings, titled “Series of Eights.”

Get it?

Because they all have the number eight in them. And also because they look like an eight-year-old painted them.

Jesus, I’m such a bitch. I’m sorry, Ally. I don’t know you and I don’t know art. But you starred in a reality show called Rich Girls once, and that means I get to be scathingly cruel to you whenever and wherever I so choose. It was like writing a blank check of meanness and handing it to the media. You didn’t know that when you were 18, did you?