Okay, look, I find Dane Cook to be as annoying and unfunny as the next guy, but, if I’m being honest, I think the guy’s way hot.

And John Krasinski is, well — I don’t think anyone can make the case that he’s not sexy as hell.

So here’s John and Dane on the red carpet for Cosmo’s Fun Fearless Male awards.

And you have to admit, it takes a fearless male to pose on the red carpet in front of Cosmo’s bright pink logo.

Oh, Heidi, this is terrible timing.

Just when I’m getting ready to lay into you good over that godawful Britney Spears duet, news broke that your stepbrother died on Thursday.

So I’d say you’re getting off easy, but something tells me there’s nothing easy about this.

Heidi’s stepbrother, a veteran of the war in Iraq, died last week in a freak accident, when he fell off an icy roof in Colorado. He’d been discharged from the Army just a month ago.

Heidi released the following statement:

“Losing my brother, at an early age is such a tragedy. I just loved him more than anything. He was just so patriotic. He really wanted to go to and help and do all that he could for his country. He felt like it was his duty. I’ll really miss him.”

My thoughts and prayers are with Heidi and her family.

Jeri Ryan is more relevant than you may think.

I know we’ve been over this before, but this woman may end up being single-handedly responsible for this country electing its first black president in 2008. And you just thought she was that chick from Star Trek.

Anyway, since divorcing politician Jack Ryan in 1999 and setting in place a series of events that would, nearly a decade later, result in Barack Obama emerging as the front-runner for the U.S. presidency, Jeri’s remarried, and she just had a baby.

Little Gisele Eme was born Sunday in Los Angeles, weighing 7 lbs., 13 oz. Mother and baby are healthy.

Congrats, Jeri!

I got an email alerting me to this song, and at first I thought it was some sort of joke.

It does not appear to be a joke.

Heidi Montag and Britney Spears have released a duet. It’s called “Dramatic.”

How appropriate.

Listen here.

Oh, wait, except neither of those people is one of Dr. Robert Rey’s children.

No, they’re at home in LA, being neglected by their father, per usual, as Dr. 90210 himself hosts at Opium in Miami Beach.

I need to email the photo service and double-check that these pictures were, in fact, taken at a club, because it sure looks to me like they’ve captured Robert Rey arriving 25 years late for his Miami Vice audition.

I dunno, I mean, I know he’s not all bad, but usually I just think this guy’s a real schmuck. When you’re making Christian Troy look like a family man, buddy, it’s time to reassess your priorities.

If I’m going to run that Barack Obama “Yes We Can” video, it’s only fair I give Hillary her chance to be endorsed by random celebs.

I guess all that’s left is for a celebrity to make a John McCain ad. We’re waiting, Hollywood.

I don’t know that there’s a Hollywood relationship I care less about — actually, that’s not true, I care about Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen slightly less — but, for those of you who do care, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gylllllenhaaaaal were out shopping together in NYC this weekend.

So there.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I mean, there’s nothing wrong with her. She’s just some random actress who generally does a good job of staying out of the tabloids, but whenever I see a picture of her, I’m just annoyed. I know it’s totally unfair of me. I mean, I have absolutely no basis for this feeling, it just comes.

Here’s Amy at a screening for Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day in NYC

(Side note: As I was typing in Amy’s name, I kept spelling it “Amy Adamns.” I did this like three times in a row, and couldn’t figure out why I insisted on putting an “n” in her name. Then it occurred to me that I’m just so used to typing the word “damn” that my fingers type “dam” and just assume an “n” should come next. I need to be hospitalized.)