Hillary Clinton and Angelina Jolie Probably Shouldn’t Mate
March 26th, 2008 by Evil Beet
Because it turns out they’re ninth cousins.
And Brad Pitt? He’s a ninth cousin of Barack Obama.
OMG.
Only on a slow news day, people. Only on a slow news day.
Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769, the researchers found.
Clinton … and Jolie, meanwhile, are ninth cousins, twice removed because they are both related to Jean Cusson who died in St. Sulpice, Quebec, in 1718.
Seriously?
And I went to elementary school with John McCain’s daughter. No, really, I did. She was a couple of years below me. I was her 4th grade reading buddy. She wore big red glasses and she was adorable. I’m gonna call my PR agency. We oughtta issue a press release on a slow news day.
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wow this is so crazy
The guy in the back seriously looks like he is going to assassinate her
Hillary wants Angelina on the downlow.
She’s a mahn, baybee!
Hillary is my idol, we fans have a special blog about her on http://plusmingle.com
My mother was taught how to drive by Dennis Hastert. Evidently, he didn’t care if you smoked pot in the back seat of the car either.
that is stupid and boring I am just ganna leave now BYE
Speaking of Hillary Clinton:
There is bad news about her husband.
It is opined that Bill Clinton committed racist hate crimes, and I am not free to say anything further about it.
Respectfully Submitted by Andrew Y. Wang, J.D. Candidate
B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
Messiah College, Grantham, PA
Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993
(I can type 90 words per minute, and there are probably thousands of copies on the Internet indicating the content of this post.)
_________________
“If only it were possible to ban invention that bottled up memories so they never got stale and faded.” Off the top of my head—it came from my Lower Merion High School yearbook.