What is this, sweetheart?

It broke my heart to let you go, but I see now that I dodged a bullet.

I still love you, baby. Blake Lively and I are very, very happy, and I just want what’s best for you. And those boots, baby? They’re what’s best for, like, gay coal miners.

And your boobs look absolutely adorable in this dress. But, see, the thing is, as an adult woman, you don’t want your boobs to look adorable. Eleven-year-old girls have adorable boobs. It’s, like, “Aw, look how she’s put tennis balls in the training bra. That’s adorable.”

Get it together, baby doll.

What we need is Britney Spears to stay home instead of traipsing all over town. That would solve the problem. We don’t need additional laws…. I’ve got laws coming out my ears to deal with this issue.

What you have is several young women in this town and several young men basically making fools of themselves and tying up not only my resources but the resources of the media that would do better covering legitimate stories instead of a bunch of airheads running around out there….

Quite clearly some of these characters so favored by the paparazzi are clearly in need of services. Not police services, but psychiatric services.

LAPD chief William Bratton, regarding the proposed “Britney’s Law,” which would crack down harder on those pesky paparazzi.

REM’s back with a new album, Accelerate.

Here’s the video for the first single, “Supernatural Superserious.”

Thoughts?

It’s a non-issue, kids.

McCain’s gonna win the whole thing anyway.

Do you recognize the celebrity in this photo?

10 years ago, you knew her well.

She’s 36 now.

Jump inside to find out who it is.

(more…)

It “was an idea we discussed together and came up with… it was about how we all have different consciences and voices in our head that tell us what to do and how to react. They’re not good or bad, they’re just voices that we hear, telling us how to behave. That’s what the other figures are in the painting,” says the artist, Vincent Fantauzzo, who painted Heath just weeks before his death.

Something tells me this is going to end up as a poster on the wall of teenagers everywhere for many years to come.

Paris is out and about with Simon Rex again, this time at Goa, where she was slipping nipples left and right and smoking what may or may not be a joint.

Oh, Paris.

Aren’t you getting a little old for this nonsense?

Ahhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha.

I love stories like this.

Little punk Aaron Carter is sitting in jail right now.

He was busted earlier this morning in Texas with two ounces of weed. He was originally pulled over on I-10 for speeding, and, when cops searched his vehicle, they found his stash.

His ass will be in jail until at least tomorrow, when a judge will arraign him.

Does Texas have the death penalty for things like this? They ought to. God bless Texas!