Despite Charlie Sheen’s objections, a court ruled last month that Denise Richards can use her poor young daughters as pawns on her upcoming reality TV series on E!.

Those kids hate being on camera.

“The show will give viewers an inside look at what it’s like for Denise to go through these ups and downs while always in the public eye,” said Lisa Berger, Executive Vice President, Original Programming and Series Development for E!, in a statement. “At the core of this series is a resilient single mom who is trying to get her life back on track.”

Ugh.

GO AWAY, DENISE! And keep your fucking kids out of your mess of a life.

“We might get one from Brooklyn. No baby is more helpless than another baby. And I’m a New York girl.”

Gwyneth Paltrow, on she and hubby Chris Martin possibly adopting a baby.

Check out Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson promoting The Other Boleyn Girl on The Today Show.

Man, Grammy night sure does bring out the worst in people.

Today we’re hearing reports that Dita Von Teese was “getting snuggly” with Backstreet Boy AJ McLean at Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy party.

Is she trying to find the anti Marilyn Manson? Or does AJ have a goth side the rest of us don’t know about?

Page Six is reporting that Fergie and Josh Duhamel have moved up their wedding date — because she is P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T.

“She picked up a wedding dress while she was in New York for Fashion Week and wants to move the wedding up so she is married before the bump becomes too obvious,” one insider said. “At Clive’s, she just drank water.”

It’s baby year, people! Hurry up and get pregnant before you become one of those losers who gives birth in 2009. By then, babies will be so last year and you’ll need to spend all sorts of money on a Hermes clutch to be cool. Much simpler to have a child.

Everyone’s favorite bipolar drug abuser taught a class of small children yesterday at Millenium Dance Complex in North Hollywood.

Brit walked into the studio and shook the hands of the five-year-olds, thrilled to finally spend time with her intellectual equals.

“She worked out this great little routine for them, they were dancing all over the place, she had them dancing in a circle like a choo-choo train,” said Millenium’s co-owner. “The kids loved it- they are having a ball right now. And Britney- she’s just drinking it up. She’s totally enjoying herself. It’s an amazing class- she and the kids are certainly enjoying the process.”

The kids’ parents were all watching the class from outside, ostensibly to ensure that Britney didn’t try to teach them a little routine called The Crack Pipe.

Rachel Bilson accompanies fake boyfriend Hayden Christensen to the LA premiere of Jumper.

Call me crazy, but I actually think that movie looks good. I think it’s because I have a secret fantasy that I could just jump from place to place with a single thought. I think a lot of my ex-boyfriends would end up dead, and I’d never, ever be caught. Just saying.

Lookin’ good, girls.