This is fabulous.

Parts II and III are after the jump.

(more…)

Looks like Barron Hilton’s spending the night in Malibu.

In the Malibu jail, that is.

It appears his parents are refusing to post the $5000 bail for the 18-year-old just yet.

“They don’t want to put up with this stuff anymore,” a source told E!’s Marc Malkin.

This is just the first of many, if God loves me as much as I think He does.

All the make-up in the world cannot hide the fact that Pamela Anderson is getting older.

Stop trying to dress like you’re still 20, Pam!

Ms. Anderson is in Paris, where she’ll be performing for two nights at the Crazy Horse, one of France’s most famous nude reviews. Thank goodness she’ll be nude — that means people won’t have to focus on her face!

The soap opera mainstay poses with her newly unveiled wax figure at Madame Tussaud’s in NYC.

Barron blew a .14, which is nearly twice LA’s legal limit of .08, and allegedly hit a gas station employee with his car just before being arrested for DUI this morning.

Says Papa Hilton: “I haven’t been contacted yet by either my son or the police. If what I have heard is true, it is very disturbing and I will have a lot to say — but it will be to my son, not the media.”

Paris’s comment: “I am sad for my little brother. I hear he is doing OK. I am there for him and will be speaking to him in an hour or so, hopefully, to lend my support.”

Give the whole Hilton fortune to Nicky!

Jessica Alba shows off that teensy-tiny bump as she does publicity for her new film, The Eye, in LA.

I saw this movie over the weekend — it was not my choice — and let me summarize the film for you guys:

Jessica Alba is blind. Then Jessica Alba is not blind. Now Jessica Alba sees dead people. Jessica Alba wears a white tank top. Jessica Alba takes a shower. Jessica Alba goes to Mexico. Jessica Alba saves the dead people. Then Jessica Alba is blind again. The end.

There. I saved you $10.

Paris Hilton’s 18-year-old brother, Barron, was pulled over at 8:30 this morning on suspicion of DUI.

He was booked at the Lost Hills sheriff station and is currently being held on $5000 bail.

Do you know how much cocaine you have to do to still be driving around drunk at 8:30 am?

Just put the whole damn family in rehab.