OMG
February 25th, 2008 by Evil Beet
Okay you know in that Tori Amos song Cornflake Girl where she’s all like “This is not really, this, this, this is not really happeniiiiiing. You bet your life it is!”
Okay every time I see a picture of Paris Hilton and new flame Benji Madden, that little verse goes through my head.
She is such an evil little bitch. (And my soon-to-be new best friend.)
First: Benji broke up with longtime girlfriend Sophie Monk, like, three minutes ago.
Secondly: Benji’s brother, Joel, just had a baby with her frenemy Nicole Richie.
So Paris puts two and two together and thinks: Publicity. Lots more publicity than she’s getting with Simon Rex.
Yeah, that door better be handicapped accessible, Paris. Mentally handicapped accessible.
Before you leave a comment, please make sure you've read our Guide to Commenting. It could save you a great deal of embarrassment.
February 25th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Its just not right!
February 25th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
ahahaha this is brilliant! i hope she takes it way too far and gets knocked up!!
February 25th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Aw. she wants Nicole’s life.
And if they have a baby DNA wise the kids will technically be half siblings…that is if Joel and Benji are identical, because I have no idea.
weird…
February 25th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Damn she has a very durable vagina.
February 25th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Now Sophie Monk knows how Shanna Moakler felt…ewww!!! That is wicked harsh.
February 25th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
That is the best Tori song ever! And yeah….now that will be going through my head every time I see this fake couple together. At least I hope it’s fake. Blech!
February 26th, 2008 at 2:51 am
Pretty smart move for such a dumb bitch. I think she’s trying to infect the entire male population-watch out!!!
February 26th, 2008 at 6:19 am
The Madden boys are fucking TOOLS!!!!! Maybe one of them can come over and change my tampon next week.
February 26th, 2008 at 8:02 am
He needs some wisdom training for the hellish nightmare ahead. http://www.survivalguy.com/home.nxg
February 26th, 2008 at 9:34 am
What’s with the firearm motif blouse? Is she trying to tell us something?
February 26th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Oh, and the brass knuckle pendant.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:46 am
slut. i hope she gives stds to everyone she fucks…
February 26th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Benji & Joel are tattooed twin fugly. And they both do that weird lip-curl thing. Yuck.
February 26th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I didn’t believe this when I first heard about it, and then I got pissed at myself for caring, and then I got even more repulsed by Paris than I already was.
What’s her mental age? Is she a fucking four-year-old who needs everything her friend have? Everything and anything hip, trendy, shiny, sparkly, a new pet/canine accessory and boyfriends/armcandy every ther week?!
[Charlie Brown voice] ARRRGH!
Sidenote: WHEN she gon’ chop off that beak of hers? She looks like Gandra Dee from DuckTales. Seriously, that’s what I see when I think of Paris Hilton. A fucking whiny voiced cartoon character (see link: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/178/483964383_8c68f0535b.jpg).
February 28th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
This makes me too sad to be snarky.
February 28th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Quack, quack.
March 13th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Stupid spoiled whore
March 30th, 2008 at 6:35 am
wow
April 12th, 2008 at 5:47 am
He´s To good For her