Oh, Jaslene, Darling
What is this, sweetheart?
It broke my heart to let you go, but I see now that I dodged a bullet.
I still love you, baby. Blake Lively and I are very, very happy, and I just want what’s best for you. And those boots, baby? They’re what’s best for, like, gay coal miners.
And your boobs look absolutely adorable in this dress. But, see, the thing is, as an adult woman, you don’t want your boobs to look adorable. Eleven-year-old girls have adorable boobs. It’s, like, “Aw, look how she’s put tennis balls in the training bra. That’s adorable.”
Get it together, baby doll.
Before you leave a comment, please make sure you've read our Guide to Commenting. It could save you a great deal of embarrassment.
February 22nd, 2008 at 5:31 pm
hey speaking as a memeber of the itty bitty commitee I wont crack on her breats…but those boots…yeeea…those boots…did you notice they are open toed??? And she is wearing stockings…too many things wrong with that!
February 22nd, 2008 at 7:39 pm
i cant even defend her anymore….this is fuckery at its finest….
February 22nd, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Her face is too long & big for that skinny framed body.
February 24th, 2008 at 12:07 am
LOL, take a look at Jaslene Gonzalez –and shake your head in wonder. Tyra Banks *actually chose* this pea-brain for the winner of ‘America’s Next Top Model’ over runner-up Natasha Galkina.
Mind-blowing, isn’t it?
February 24th, 2008 at 6:13 am
Her hair makes her XL head look even bigger… narrow shoulders, no tits, tiny waist, no hips… makes for an eXtra tight SNAPPER….
February 24th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
The black version of Rumer
February 24th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
never liked this girl. natasha totllay should have won.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Fake assed Natasha should have been deported. Team Jaslene!
February 29th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
I do not know what these people on this blog are looking at! Real fashion is unique, real fashion has variety, real fashion is talent, real fashion is jaslene…..HATERS! stop looking at the clothing, even tho those boots are not great, and look at why she won. This girl is courageous, she took critique well and worked it to her advantage, she work her ass off and she did not let the challenge defeat her purpose. The other girls wanted to win maybe just as bad, and they also worked hard for it, but Jaslene’s personal experience on the show made you think about the real challenges we face in life. Life is not all fun and games. SHe might not speak eloquently, but her pictures speak a thousand words.
March 12th, 2008 at 10:05 am
u & blake lively are both retarded cock suckers. jaslene is the definition of FIERCE!! none of u haters on here can do what she does! take a look at yourselves in the mirror…. ur americas next top….nothing! stop hating and go learn how to knit a sweater or something.
p.s. natasha was a retarded russian with a short fat neck!
March 12th, 2008 at 10:06 am
u & blake lively are both retarded c0*k suckers. jaslene is the definition of FIERCE!! none of u haters on here can do what she does! take a look at yourselves in the mirror…. ur americas next top….nothing! stop hating and go learn how to knit a sweater or something.
p.s. natasha was a retarded russian with a short fat neck!
May 29th, 2008 at 11:52 am
you are all fatass losers hating on jaslene. you wish u had her body. she IS a model , SHe HAS THE BODY! natasha was just fat. besides, jaslenes face is unique and works well in the modeling industry, hello!
stop hating. she won, deal with it lol
May 29th, 2008 at 11:54 am
ps, her boobs are adorable and i love em
aha