Gary Coleman Still Hasn’t Fucked His Wife of Six Months

February 14th, 2008 by Evil Beet


Okay, so we didn’t really cover the whole thing where Gary Coleman was all like “Hey guys! I got married awhile back!” because it was a dumb story and Gary Coleman is dumb.

But this is just too good to pass up.

Gary told The Insider that he still hasn’t had sex with his 22-year-old bride. He says it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen, and for all the right reasons.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

It’ll never happen, dude.


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27 Responses to “Gary Coleman Still Hasn’t Fucked His Wife of Six Months”

  1. susiewww Says:

    It dosen’t matter lol. A reliable source said he has a relationship with a super model who posted a profile at a celebs dating site named Richromances.com which is a site for beautiful people. His fans are busy with talking about it now uhmmm~~~~

  2. lollylicious Says:

    so she didnt marry him for looks, personality, money, or sex …

    baffling.

  3. tarn Says:

    Beet, can we possibly stop susiewww from posting about that damn site?
    It’s REALLY getting annoying now!

  4. FrozeRightHere Says:

    Way too much information, man. I’m shaking my head to empty it of these creepy thoughts…

  5. skeelo Says:

    So, to recap, Gary Coleman throws things at her, berates her, and scares her with his temper. He’s a foot shorter than her. He’s 18 years older than her. They’ve shared no conjugal moments. She’s in charge of Coleman merchandising, which is nowhere near as dynamic as Dualstar. He’s pretty much insolvent. But somehow she was attracted to his personality and the way he treats her. This is a Hallmark special waiting to happen.

  6. Eyes of Green Says:

    Classic example of woman with NO self esteem and TINY MAN who needs to prob. be in jail for abuse.

  7. He's THAT Guy Says:

    We all know that Gary is socially retarded. Child Star Curse strikes again!

  8. Spammers Suck Says:

    Tarn is right.

  9. Different Strokes Says:

    Maybe it doesn’t reach.

  10. snow ball Says:

    hes an angry contolling midget she needs an april divorce

  11. Pinkey Says:

    She needs to beat him like he stole something and an April divorce.

  12. mambaX Says:

    yawn

  13. lex Says:

    haha she’s totally fucking other people

  14. taurus Says:

    lex is right there is only one virgin in the family

  15. Leather Says:

    *points and laughs*

  16. Bart Says:

    I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

  17. stretch! Says:

    he needed to reach the stuff on the top shelf people

  18. my parents? Says:

    it’s hard to watch that video and just know that they hate each other already

  19. JK aka Mr. NYC Says:

    They don’t need to procreate because they’re both UGLY as hell. Plz don’t make any babies. We already have Brit and LL we need no more crazy ugly kids running around.

  20. The Sex Diva Says:

    Are any of y’all really surprised?? I mean, come ON, now!!

  21. Scooby Doo Says:

    Co-sign with JK. Them kids would be hideous! LOL

  22. Nix Says:

    Didn’t he run off with a Michael Jackson impersonator that turned him against his parents when he was 18? Dude and that MJ Impersonator checked into a Hawaii hotel as “father and son” for a few weeks. He’s gay, I’m convinced, he is using this chick to get people talking about him. He’s looking for some kind of relevancy.

  23. Muffy Says:

    Oh shit, I can’t stop laughing!

  24. lulu Says:

    He’ impotent because of his illness–he should have just kept his mouth shut about it–or maybe he is gay either way who cares? I mean really

  25. Sorry, Can't Resist Says:

    “what’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?”

  26. SEXY T Says:

    2 WORDS HE UGLY

  27. GOD Says:

    THAT BITCH IS BUCKLED

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