I’m going on the record as saying they are going to settle this thing… pronto.

I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting stuff around here and I think everyone wants The Oscars to go on as per normal.

So then, if you’re in a strike pool – bet it ALL!

Clearly, I love when celebs say stupid things – why else why I be filling in for her majesty, Ms. Evil Beet, this week? Thankfully the gossip gods rewarded me this morning with something fun, right about here.

Let’s break this thing down.

Adam Sandler: Stop Picking on Tom Cruise

Already I’m excited and tingly.

“To see anyone’s private life invaded and mocked like this is sickening,” Adam Sandler tells PEOPLE in an exclusive statement.

Hmm, you know, I almost sort of agree with this statement. However, I’ve got to wonder, why folks aren’t invading Adam’s life? Could it be because he doesn’t go on TV as a mouthpiece for his religion? Just a thought.

Earlier this month, Andrew Morton’s scathing biography of Cruise hit shelves; meanwhile, a pro-Scientology video starring the actor hit the Internet and became the butt of jokes.

Dude, that video is INSANE. It is insane in the membrane. You simply must laugh at that, there is no other rational response. Oh, and someone wrote a book? Okay. These things tend to happen when you pull down $20m a film and run a studio.

Actually, you know what, let’s do a little test here. Ready? Go!

What do you know about Will Smith and/or Tom Hanks? When is the last paparazzi shot you saw of him? How many times has he gone on The Today show saying psychiatrists are the enemy? How many times has he bashed Brooke Shields? If you answered 1) Not much 2) I don’t recall 3) Zero and 4) Never you win! That’s right guys, you can actually be a major star in this universe AND not become the butt of jokes. How do you do it? Maintain some sense of privacy and admit that you may not have the final word on all things spirituality. Sheesh.

The drivel continues:

But many of Cruise’s friends and colleagues are not laughing. Dustin Hoffman, Cruise’s Rain Man co-star, tells PEOPLE: “Tom Cruise is an American and has the right to freedom of speech and freedom of religion.”

I love that they credit Rain Man which came out around 1975. Nice pull. Also, and I’m going to put this in CAPS because it really is crucial to this discussion:

NO ONE HAS TAKEN AWAY TOM’S RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH OR RELIGION.

I mean really. Dustin, no way are you that stupid. You can’t be. You only fly Quantas airlines. The fact of the matter is we’re all using our freedom of speech to point out that, at this moment, Tom Cruise is one scary dude. But as far as I know nobody has shown up and demanded he put down the Scientology pipe. You have a right to say whatever you like and everyone else has the right to ignore/ridicule you.

“Imagine having a baby and people talking about it the way they did,” says Stiller. “People lose sight of the fact that Tom Cruise is actually a person. I feel for him.”

What do you know about Ben Stiller? Nada? Yes, that’s because he hasn’t preached to you. It’s weird how people become uncomfortable with others using their fame in matters of faith. Would it be hard to be Tommy right now? Probably so. But if he just wanted to live a normal private life he could have easily done that. Instead he’s chosen to project that he has the moral highground on matters of God and religion.

Plus, no offense, he turned Katie Holmes into a robot which was SUPER uncool.

I really liked her.

**Update**
As commenter Snow Ball mentions; I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Click sucked on wheels. So you watch yourself Adam.

I am a huge fan of CuteOverload.com really when the going gets tough I like to look at cute little animals in funny positions. I happen to have the cutest dog alive but sometimes when I try to put her in funny situations or clothes she gets mad and hides.

So after a rough day I went to the site and I found this.

Uh, somehow this is the most trippy thing I have ever seen. Who the hell wants to bite the head of a cute robotic panda every morning?

I have said it over and over again; rich people can get themselves way to much medication. For some odd reason if you are rich and famous…or you just “doctor shop” you can get yourself a deadly cocktail of uppers and downers.

Historically there have been way to many young stars whose doctors will give them everything and anything to deal with “stress.” Give someone too much medication and you are creating an addict.

Heath Ledger was found with five different kinds of “drugs” in his apartment. These “drugs” were actually pills that he had prescriptions for. These included

nearly full pill bottles containing the anti-anxiety medications Alprazolam (Xanax), Diazepam (Valium) and Lorazepam (Ativan) were found in the apartment. The sleeping medication Zoplicone (Lunesta) and the sedative Temazepam (Restoril) — which is used by people with “debilitating insomnia”

Drugs abuse is something that can creep up on you. Honestly I once broke my foot (which is when I started writing for the Beet) and three different doctors gave me three different kinds of pain medications. Mix a few of those with a couple glasses of wine when you hurt and you start feeling no pain. When I finally realized I was taking these all together and got the shakes when I didn’t I had a bit of a wakeup call.

Somebody should look into the doctor who prescribed all of this medication together. Methinks somebody is going to be held partially responsible for this tragedy.

Here’s Jerry O’Connell spoofing our favorite guy Tommy Cruise. Boom, boom, shake the room!

Best Buy comes up with the worst promo ever. [Jossip]

Bruce Willis somehow looks like a truck driver, yet he once again has a barely legal hot girlfriend…see kids money can buy you love! [ICYDK]

Some guy auditioned for American Idol 11 times? Seriously, somebody really wants to get on TV. [People]

I have no issue with Baptists…but I do have an issue with crazy folk. [Mollygood]

Kim Kardashian…still naked. [Egotastic]

You’ve got to like one thing about Paris: She’s consistent. Check out this noise where Paris says:

I wish the best for her and I just wish everyone would leave her alone so she could live her life

Dude, you totally hustled to get into a picture with her like two months ago! You are one of the people who is not leaving her alone! Look!

She goes on:

She’s a great mother and a great girl and I really care about her.

I don’t know that “great” mothers stay out late drinking and get their kids taken from them. I think that sort of behavior is reserved for people not actively being “great.” Maybe she could be a great mom, kick the habit, move away from La-La land, start hanging with some people who care about her, that’s all within reason. That’s not the current situation however. The chick is in a total tailspin, probably from hanging out with freaks like Paris.

I once heard a rumor that Paris drinks human blood EXCLUSIVELY as part of her diet.

But I’m sure she’s great!