Why Is OJ Back in Jail?

January 11th, 2008 by Evil Beet


oj_simpson.jpg

Because he should be, that’s why.

Because he’s motherfucking crazy.

OJ was ordered to have no contact (direct, indirect, via third parties, or even via “passenger pigeon” — I’m not kidding, it’s in the court transcript) with his fellow defendants, but he left a message with his bail bondsman, directing him to relay a message to one of them. The message was as follows:

“Hey Miguel, It’s me … I just want, want CJ [co-defendant Clarence Stewart] to know that the whole thing all the time he was tellin’ me that shit, ya know, I hope he was telling me the truth don’t be trying to change the mother fucking shit now, mother fucking assholes I’m tired of this shit. Fed up with mother fuckers changing what they told me, alright?”

So, even though none of that makes any sense, it counts as indirect contact via a third party, and OJ’s going back to jail for violating the court’s orders. Also, I think we’ve finally found someone who cusses with more frequency than I. That’s nice.


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22 Responses to “Why Is OJ Back in Jail?”

  1. rubenstein says:

    OJ just shows us once again what a controlling, ignorant jerk he really is, and how honestly angry he is as a person. Kinda confirms one’s suspicion that his character is at the “bottom of the barrel”. He just can’t seem to stay out of trouble.

  2. JK says:

    Leave those young white girls alone OJ or jail will be your retirement home.

  3. I Heart Spam says:

    Squeeze the juice ha ha ha!

  4. EVIL DICK says:

    Why? Who cares? … he’s one dumb jungle bunny… getting away with murder makes one think he can do whatever he pleases. Feed him to the Skinheads in jail…. OJ backwards is JO

  5. Crassy says:

    Swing Low, Sweet Chariot……

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