I am so, so, so sorry about this.

But we’re growing!!! STILL!!! And the great big huge server we switched over to just a few months ago can’t handle the traffic anymore, so we’re moving to a great big HUGER server tomorrow afternoon (hopefully — Thursday at the latest). There should not be any down time during the switch (hopefully).

This should resolve the issues you guys have been seeing lately.

Thank you all SO SO SO much for your loyal readership. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.

xoxo,
Beet

Abigail Breslin poses with some kids her age at a charity function.

She’s so much better than them.

You can tell by her hair.

Honestly, I can’t ever keep track of who this woman is dating, and it’s my full-time job. Last I heard it was Dax Shephard, but then maybe I heard they broke up, and now she’s probably having sex with Tony Romo, because that seems to be the thing to do these days.

Anyway.

No matter who Kate’s banging, she’s always taking time out to spend with her son, Ryder. Here she is taking him for a stroll (literally!) in NYC.

Image via Splash

Oh, aging is such a sad process.

The saggy boobs. The flabby vagina. The menopause. The weight gain. The lowering of your annoyingly squeaky voice.

Fortunately, Cyndi Lauper’s found a cure for the last item.

Pop survivor Cyndi Lauper has one of the most unusual pre-performance warmups.

An amused source backstage at last week’s benefit for the Hetrick-Martin Institute said she sucked the gas out of two helium balloons, to create her trademark squeaky voice, before belting out hits like “Time After Time.”

Something tells me it’s not just before shows that this woman’s sucking on helium …

Check out this clip from Croatian TV. The interesting part starts around 1:30. It looks like he may have been taking a bump — wearing a blue jacket — and then removed the jacket right before the interview. What do you think?

Forbes just released their annual list of the 20 Richest Stars Under 25. So who made the cut?

20. Frankie Muniz, $3 million
19. Mandy Moore, $3.5 million
18. Lindsay Lohan, $3.5 million
17. Miley Cyrus, $3.5 million
16. Rupert Grint, $4 million
15. Emma Watson, $4 million
14. Dakota Fanning, $4 million
13. Mischa Barton, $4.5 million
12. Scarlett Johansson, $5 million
11. Carrie Underwood, $7 million
10. Keira Knightley, $9 million
9. Carmelo Anthony, $10 million
8. Avril Lavigne, $12 million
7. Hilary Duff, $12 million
6. Daniel Radcliffe, $15 million
5. Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, $17 million each
4. Michelle Wie, $19 million
3. Maria Sharapova, $23 million
2. Reggie Bush, $24 million
1. LeBron James, $27 million

The key takeaway here?

Fuck math.

Pay attention in P.E., kids.

Paris Hilton walks into Hyde last night wearing a shirt that says “Believe in Santa Claus.”

Yes, Paris, I’m sure you do believe in a magical fat man who goes around bringing gifts to the poor and disenfranchised, helping them to get back up on their feet and stay out of the prison system, just like you promised to do after your jail stay. It’s okay, though. Santa will help the poor people. No need for you to lift a pretty little finger. Just put on a cute shirt and go to Hyde. That’ll work fine.

Image via Splash