Perhaps Blonde Ambition wasn’t ambitious enough.

Or perhaps Jessica needs to stick to singing.

The flick’s going straight to DVD. It’ll be perfect to rent for a date night. You can have sex with your man while he’s thinking about Jessica and you’re thinking about Luke Wilson.

Because, look, I tried it with Happy Gilmore on the other night and it was just awkward.

On the other hand, I’ve decided I need a “Guns Don’t Kill People, I Kill People” t-shirt. I will make out with anyone who can find me the orange one in a woman’s size.

Mel C on Geri leaving the band: “She could have really fucked things up for us.”

I love it!!!!!!!

The dangers of lipo, kids.

Padma Lakshmi is on a diet dammit!!! [FListed]

Pete Wentz is rocking a beard. [Popbytes]

Michael Jackson’s still got some money problems. [Bossip]

Listen up, people. No one’s cheating on Eva Longoria. [INO]

More Halle Berry baby bump pictures. [POTP]

Marilyn Manson’s mother still has his foreskin. Ew. [Celebrity Smack]

Jessica Alba flips off the paps. How pregnant of her. [Celebslam]

Johnny Depp as Pee Wee Herman? Looks like it might happen. [Celebitchy]

Camel toe!!!! [Mollygood]

“It happened quickly, but I was certain it was what I wanted. I never felt overwhelmed. I thought, Okay, good. Here we go … It happened in an instant. I still get like that, ‘Whew.’ When you fall in love, it’s as though time stops. It’s all-encompassing … I try every day to let him know how much I love him. It gets better and better. It has made my life.”

Katie Holmes talks about her relationship with Tom Cruise to InStyle magazine.

Even though the first one just wrapped filming, it sounds like they’re already considering doing a follow-up.

“They are exercising the sequel option in all of the stars’ contracts,” says a source. “They want it to be a franchise and think they can stretch it over at least three movies.”

I’m not going to get excited about this until I get to see the first one and make sure it doesn’t suck.

Oh, who am I kidding?

Hell, I saw all the Star Wars movies just because I felt like it was my civil duty as an American. I’d totally see all three Sex and the City movies!

After Brit missed her deposition yesterday, it looks like K-Fed’s attorney may ask the court to scale back her already-limited visitation rights, including her right to spend Christmas morning with her two boys.

“I may exercise my right to ask the court for relief,” said Mark Vincent Kaplan.

This sounds to me like he’s asking to go to the bathroom, but I guess in legalese it means he may ask the court to take away even more of Britney’s visitation rights.