Jessica Simpson Ruins Everything
December 17th, 2007 by Evil Beet
I don’t know anything about football. There’s a ball — it’s brown — and weird pitchfork-style things sticking up from the ground and men run and, as I’d tell my college boyfriend whenever he’d promise me we’d go shopping when the game was over, the number-one rule of football is that the clock must never be running. Every girl knows what I mean. “Ten minutes left” means “two hours left” because the number-one rule of football is that the clock must never be running. Never ever ever. If the clock is running, something terrible happened.
Anyway.
This guy Tony Romo is good at the football game.
Except for when his new girlfriend, Jessica Simpson, is in the stands.
Then Tony Romo sucks at football.
He had the worst game of his career this weekend, with Jessica there.
Although it’s nice to see a girl make a guy choke; it’s usually the other way around. 
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December 17th, 2007 at 9:33 am
YES! She does.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:37 am
pretty much, yeah!
December 17th, 2007 at 10:23 am
Dump her now!!!
December 17th, 2007 at 10:24 am
i hate jessica she blew everything up.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:49 am
Didn’t they just start talking over Thanksgiving? Papa Joe is determined to marry her ass off.
Sorry, Jess, it’s a little too early to start wearing his jersey to the game. Take a cue from Eva honey. She’s married to Tony and doesn’t wear his jersey to games.
December 17th, 2007 at 11:40 am
Why do chickenheads start attending sports events and don’t know shit about the game? That’s allright Jessica, I’m a Redskin fan and we want you to push up on Tony Romo for that one too! Prolly the only way we’re assured a victory…
December 17th, 2007 at 11:42 am
she sucked all his juice out
December 17th, 2007 at 11:44 am
I know where he lost his mojo!
December 17th, 2007 at 11:59 am
I told his ass no sex before the game, but he wouldn’t listen to my ass oh no!
December 17th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
I have to say though…she looks better than she has in a while…
December 17th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
OH YAWN!
December 17th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Well no poop fudge delight for Tony tonight.
December 17th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Tell my baby girl to come home. I know how to make it all better…
December 17th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Tony blew the game yesterday why didn’t Phillips pull him out of game? he threw the ball all over the field. His thumb got hurt so instead of pulling himself out the game he stayed in to impress this slut Jessica. T.O. should’ve kicked his ass after the game.
December 18th, 2007 at 11:51 am
Romo deserved a true blue ass beating after that abomination that is referred to as “offense”. I hope all the guys in the lockerroom beat his ass down, not only for that horrendous display on the field, but also for dating such a disgrace to females. She prolly had to wear his jersey so she could keep looking down and seeing what number her “boyfriend” was…then kept getting confused because it said “6″ when sje looked at it. Stupid.
December 18th, 2007 at 11:54 am
i’m so happy that this article is up. being an avid cowboys lover my heart broke on sunday and i knew IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID BITCH. if tony would keep his head in the game during the week and not juggle dating a superstar bitch we would have won. i hope he dumps her and finishes the season like we ran it all this time. i too hope T.O. beat the snot out of him
December 18th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
I think people should stop blaming Jessica, who does suck, but I mean shut the fuck up - you’re just looking for an excuse that - OMG! - Tony Romo played a bad game. He’s not fucking Jesus. Suck it up you pansies, it’s just fucking football. Close minded son of a bitches. hah.
December 19th, 2007 at 5:51 am
why is he dating her, didn’t he break up with Carrie Underwood, so he could keep his mind on football??
December 19th, 2007 at 6:46 am
Yoko Romo LIVES
December 20th, 2007 at 11:46 am
HA HA HA I can just see that TOOL Romo, running to catch and Jessica is bouncing her boobs and he gets distracted and loses the game.
She sucks he sucks they all suck suck!!!!
December 20th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
romo doesnt catch jackass
December 22nd, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Tony romo sucks anyway!!!!
December 28th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
It’s not Jessica’s fault….Everybody has a bad day
January 14th, 2008 at 11:36 am
you need to dump her she is not good to be with you are good to be the best of somebody else boyfriend but not her she isn’t pretty to be with you
January 14th, 2008 at 11:37 am
YOU NEED TO GET ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND SHE
January 14th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
if she is goining to make him choke then he should dump her right away. maybe he should get together with carrie underwood
January 14th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
i agree with anonymous he should be with anyone that won’t make him choke he will have the perfect girfriend:)
January 21st, 2008 at 6:54 pm
I don’t know why you guys are blaming Jessica on this. Maybe I’m just a little slow - PROBABLY - but, how is he ‘choking’?
February 1st, 2008 at 1:29 am
Thanks for sharing
February 9th, 2008 at 12:19 am
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:
March 19th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
tony romo OK but i think he is better than tom brady tom sucks.
March 19th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
tony romo is all right to be on the cowboys side but he is not jessicas type.I mean come on tony marry someone your type.quit pickin on the hot ones.You are britney spires type.This is the 12 century man.Get a life,
March 19th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
are right i was kidding at first tony homo you relly suck bad and your not jessicas type your more like britney spers seriously jessica isn’t into football or you really i herd on the news she cheted on you she had sex whith brady
JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:15 pm
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well.
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:51 pm
All I know is that Jessica Simpson is one of the sexiest and most beautiful women on the planet ! If you have any doubts, check out my gallery of HOT pics of her at:
http://galleryofbeautifulwomen.blogspot.com/2008/02/jessica-simpson.html
Cheers !
July 16th, 2008 at 12:04 am
tony romo is amazing, and whoever thinks he sux knows absoulutly dip shit about football.
August 25th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
I think tony is the best but he needs 2 DUMP his girlfriend ya everyone has a bad day but come on he is to foucused on jessica n not enough on football which shld b his main priority.
COWBOYS ALL DA WAY!!!!!!!