Have fun tonight, kids, and please be safe. Don’t pull a Mischa. Remember that a taxi costs a hell of a lot less than a DUI.

If you still don’t have your plans nailed down, and you’re in the LA area, come party with me at Republic in Hollywood!!!

There will be all sorts of celebs there — including Adam Sandler and Ludacris — which is nice, but I just got word that Melrose from America’s Next Top Model will be there, and that got me excited. I think Melrose and I are going to be BFF.

Ticket presales are available until 6 pm today. And VIP ticket = open bar!!!!!

GET YOUR TICKETS HERE!!!

xoxo,
Beet

So, over the past couple of days, a variety of photo agencies have been posting picture after picture of Nicolette Sheridan in a bikini, on vacation with Michael Bolton.

I haven’t been running them, because the only person more boring than Nicolette Sheridan is Michael Bolton, but then some eagle-eyed blogger spotted a nip slip in one of those pics, and now I care.

Because celeb nipple is awesome.

Uncensored pics of Nicolette Sheridan’s nipple are after the jump.

(more…)

Instead of asking yourself what Lindsay Lohan is doing in Capri, try asking who Lindsay Lohan is doing in Capri. [FListed]

Check out popbytes’ review of Sweeney Todd. [popbytes]

Michelle Pfeiffer is totally okay with them casting Jessica Simpson as the lead in the Grease remake. WTF? [INO]

Top 10 Bikini Pics of 2007! [Celebslam]

You know who’s not preggers? Nicole Kidman. [Celebitchy]

Milo Ventimiglia is finally ready to step up and admit he’s banging Hayden Panettiere. [Derek Hail]

Penelope Cruz makes out with her sister. Awesome. [WIMB]

Constantine Maroulis is a star that won’t stop rising. [Yeeeah!]

Mary-Louise Parker hates working with Mary-Kate Olsen. [Mollygood]

Lindsay Lohan accepts an award at the Capri Film Festival.

OMG.

Why?????

Paris Hilton and K-Fed party the night away at PURE in Las Vegas.

What is Britney going to do to retaliate for this????

BRING ON THE CRAZY!!!!

The America’s Next Top Model winner showed up at the Grand Opening of Jay-Z’s 40/40 Club At The Palazzo Hotel in Vegas last night.

She looks like she’s going to prom!

Pregnant!!!

This is NOT a fat girl. This is a baaaaaaad dress.

Also there: Beyonce Knowles, wearing those shoes that are all the rage lately. They make me want to die. It looks like she broke her foot, and this is the fancy high-tech cast they made for her.

Dude.

I don’t give a fuck. I might care if this Rhys Ifans dude was hot, but he looks like he just stepped off the set of a Tim Burton film. Where he’d been shooting heroin between takes. In a bathtub. With a blow-dryer. While eating human brains.

I could go on if you want.

Anyway, Sienna hasn’t announced it, but the photo agencies seem pretty sure of it. They keep running these photos lately like, “Sienna Miller and fiance Rhys Ifans” blah blah blah blah.

Jesus, guys, can you believe this dude gets to put his penis in Sienna Miller and you don’t?

These have been around for a couple days, but, tragically, I suck at my job, so I’ve just now stumbled upon them.

Man, she looks like she had a rough night.

I almost feel bad for her. But then I think of what a happy day I had when I checked my email and learned that Mischa Barton had scored herself a DUI. Seriously, I got jack shit for Christmas this year. My dad wrote me a check and my mom puts about the same effort into Christmas as she does into Arbor Day, so the Mischa Barton DUI was like the pony I never got. (Note to parents for future: the pony should be pink and it should sing.) So then I think of my happiness and then I’m not sad for Mischa anymore. There’s a term for that. I think it’s “schadenfreude.” Webster’s defines it as “satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune.”

That’s cool, Websters. You call it “schadenfreude.” I call it “what I do for a living.”