Kate Middleton looks stunning and royal at a book launch party in London.

Remember how I was saying it would be fabulous if there was a Stephanie Pratt sex tape?

Ask and ye shall receive.

This just landed in my inbox:

evilbeet,

there IS a stephanie pratt sex tape. i met stephanie in miami just a few weeks after spencer started on the hills and she was bragging about how her brother was on tv and i didn’t give a shit, but i was like “damn that girl is hot!!!” so i took her back to my place and we had a little fun for the camera. and i think it’s funny that her brother was talking shit about lauren’s vaj, because his sister has a gross mole on hers. it’s the size of my thumb and it has little hairs in it. you can see it in the tape. am currently talking to video agencies to decide where to sell it now that hse’s on the hills but wanted to let u know.

[name redacted]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!

All’s fair in love and war, kids. You should have stayed away, Stephanie.

Christina Aguilera lets it all hang out in this month’s issue of Marie Claire.

Well, not all of it.

Everything but her pregnant vagina.

Which we have pictures of.

I think her (airbrushed) body looks great, and props to her for being sexy while preggers.

From Life & Style magazine, on newsstands now.

According to a source:

“Joe and Tony have been friendly for a while. Joe is a huge Dallas Cowboy fan, and Tony has always had a crush on her – he even said on his Web site like a year ago that it was his dream to date her. Jessica has been in Nashville and Dallas recording her new country album. When Tony found out, he called Joe and said, ‘I know she’s not dating anyone right now, can I take her out for a drink at least?’ Jessica said it was OK for Joe to give Tony her number and they hit it off. They’ve been dating for a couple of weeks now, and Jessica is so happy. She’s been texting everyone about how great he is.”

I think Papa Joe must have smelled some publicity. I can’t imagine he had any other reason for letting such a manwhore — I mean, the guy got a lapdance from Britney — date his daughter.

Who’s this gross-ass methface?

It’s Spencer Pratt’s little sister, Stephanie, who recently decided to start making appearances on The Hills and hassling Lauren without provocation.

You’re fair game now, whore.

Early in the evening of May 8, 2006, in Honolulu, Stephanie, then 20, and a 20-year-old friend — the daughter of a production executive on the locally filmed ABC series Lost — were arrested by the police after security guards at ritzy Neiman Marcus department store caught the duo attempting to shoplift a number of clothing items.

According to police records, Stephanie and her friend had tried on more than 50 pieces of clothing in a dressing room, then left the store after the friend paid for five items. When apprehended outside by store security, Stephanie was wearing two stolen items of clothing and carrying five more in her shoulder bag, while her friend was wearing one stolen item and carrying five more in her bag. Together, the value of the stolen merchandise totaled $1,300!

Stephanie and her friend found themselves in even more hot water after they were arrested on charges of second-degree theft and transported to police headquarters. After they both claimed they took prescription medicine and gave permission to have their bags searched, Stephanie was then arrested on further charges of “promoting a dangerous drug” in the third degree, and “promoting a harmful drug” in the third and fourth degree (her friend was also arrested on a single drug charge). The friend didn’t help matters when, according to the police report, she told an officer that she’d call her lawyer and “be out of this mess and then fly to Paris.” She then added: “If I leave the state, then f–k you guys and your charges! You can’t do anything to me once I’m not here!”

Can’t wait until the Stephanie Pratt sex tape surfaces. Oh, we’re going to have some fun with that.

Is this cowgirl chic?

Is that what you’d call it?

Everything about it screams that I should hate it.

And, yet, I want it.

Why, God? Why?

On TRL this week.