OMG!!! Someone call the major case squad! Get Alicia Witt and Mr. Big in there STAT!!! The former manager of The Ramones was found murdered in her NYC apartment on Tuesday night.

Linda Stein, the one-time co-manager of Ramones was found dead last night (October 30) in her Upper East Side apartment in Manhattan.

Stein, 62, who was once married to famous Sire Records head, Warner Brothers Vice President Seymour Stein, was found dead in her kitchen.

In recent times, Stein was well-known in showbusiness circles as a realtor for high-profile and celebrity clients, including Billy Joel, Calvin Klein and Bruce Willis.

Stein died from blunt force trauma to the head. Police are treating the death as murder, and are continuing investigations. They say there were no signs of forced entry to her Fifth Avenue apartment.

This is totally real-life Law & Order!!!!

Paris hosts at “A Very Sexy Halloween” at LAX Nightclub Las Vegas.

Oh, Paris, you only wish you were actually jailbait.

You’re old, dear.

Da Brat was arrested early Thursday morning in Georgia for smashing a waitress in the face with a bottle of rum.

Need I say more?

Devon showed up at Heidi Klum’s Halloween party dressed as my grandmother’s tablecloth.

Except my grandmother always made sure there were no creases in the center of her tablecloth.

Ouch!

Vito was convicted of sexually assaulting three girls ages 12 to 14 during an autograph signing event last year at mall skate park.

When the verdict was announced, Vito fell to the floor and started screaming “Just kill me now.”

His sentencing hearing is December 20. He faces up to six years in prison. If he doesn’t comply with sex offender treatment as part of the sentence, he could potentially spend life in prison.

Go ahead. Tell me I’m wrong.

The gaping hole in the center?

All those pleats on the outside?

The overwhelming sense that nothing about it is particularly well thought-out?

Yup. That’s Britney’s vagina.

Jesse Jane nip slip. [FListed]

Hooray! Stephen Colbert is officially on the ballot! [DListed]

Melissa Joan Hart as Little Bo Peep. Cute. [Celebslam]

JLo’s new movie went straight to DVD. [Derek Hail]

The dolphins made Hayden cry. [INO]

Thanks to the wonder of pre-scheduled posting, as you’re reading this, I am high up in the air. And I didn’t even have to smoke crack to get there. They have airplanes now.

I’m going to Miami — bienvenidos a Mee-ah-mee! — where I plan to spend a great deal of time partying and possibly even learn who U of M is playing for their homecoming game, which is, at least on paper, the reason I’m going.

So I’m gonna leave you kids alone for a few hours, but I’ll be back later in the afternoon to check in and make sure Britney’s still alive and drinking. And I’ll be in and out all weekend with — as my boss puts it — dispatches from South Beach.

Oh! And I bought a digital camera yesterday (It’s pink! And has a special feature for filming for YouTube! What a world!), so it’s possible I’ll even go all Pink Is the New Blog on you and start posting annoying photos of myself and my friends so I don’t have to keep referring everyone to that MediaBistro interview whenever people wanna know what I look like. Now what do you guys think of that?

And if you’re a Miamian, definitely leave comments and let me know when and where to get into trouble while I’m out here!!!

Meanwhile, the always-hilarious (and very sexy!) David Gilmore from Pretty on the Outside has launched a new site, Pretty from a Distance, which is definitely worth checking out.

Let’s review all the possible meanings of “pulled a Britney.” Is it:

1) Showed the world his vagina?
2) Fought a car with an umbrella?
3) Shaved his head?
4) Checked in and out of rehab three times while you were asleep?
5) Married Kevin Federline?

No, no, kids, it’s none of the above.

As it turns out, Lance Bass once got hitched in Vegas.

“I’ve been in Vegas where I’ve gotten married for like five minutes, but no one talks about it, though.”

Bass, who was part of the boy band ‘N Sync, says he got hitched in “1999 or 2000,” and the bride was “just a friend.”

“In fact, the only reason we did it is because we wanted to get free drinks all night … and we didn’t get one,” he says. “We’re like, `we just got married,’ and they’re like, `ah, whatever.’”

Oh, and, hey, this little revelation happens to coincide with Lance hyping his new book, the title of which is … oh, God, I can’t even say it. Soooooooooo gay.

Petra Nemcova and Roberto Cavalli get a little too close for comfort (well, at least my comfort) at a Halloween party at Cipriani.

Cavalli recently took it upon himself to announce Jennifer Lopez’s pregnancy. I’m sure Petra was just trying to comfort him.

Yeah, he’s way sorry that his career is gonna go buh-bye, just like he feared would happen in his little racist rant.

Here’s the ultra-long statement/apology/Hail Mary he came out with late Wednesday:

“My sincerest, heartfelt apologies go out to every person I have offended for my regrettable use of very inappropriate language. I am deeply disappointed in myself for speaking out of anger to my son and using such a hateful term in a private phone conversation. It was completely taken out of context. I was disappointed in his choice of a friend, not due to her race, but her character. However, I should have never used that term. I have the utmost respect and aloha for black people – who have already suffered so much due to racial discrimination and acts of hatred. I did not mean to add yet another slap in the face to an entire race of people who have brought so many gifts to this world. I am ashamed of myself and I pledge to do whatever I can to repair this damage I have caused.

“In Hawaii, we have something called Ho’oponopono, where people come together to resolve crises and restore peace and balance. I am meeting with my spiritual advisor, Rev. Tim Storey, and hope to meet with other black leaders so they can see who I really am and teach me the right thing to do to make things right, again.

“I know that all of my fans are deeply disappointed in me, as well, as I have tried to be a model for doing the right thing. I did not do the right thing this time, and hope you will forgive me. We learn from our mistakes, as my story of overcoming a life of crime has proven, and I will learn from this one for the rest of my life.”

Honestly, I think he probably is a good guy, and probably not racist, but Jesus Christ why on earth would anyone ever use that word to describe another human being these days? It just doesn’t make sense. What the hell was he thinking?

After making out at NYC’s Rose Bar on Monday night, Lance and Ashley (Lashley?) hooked up again late Tuesday night at the Waverley Inn (where Lance was hanging out with Owen Wilson, who probably has no business being in a bar right now).

I just picture Lance Armstrong’s aging ass being all like, “Hey, baby doll, will you give me a little head tonight? Just suck it for a little while?” And then Michelle Tanner grinning, giving him a thumbs-up and saying “You got it, dude!”