Fran. Drescher.

You know what?

I’m gonna be nice here. I mean, I’m sure she’s had more work done than Jenna Jameson’s vagina, but she really looks good. She looks about twenty-damn-five years old. I want her plastic surgeon’s number.

Rock on, Franny.

From a tipster:

I was surprised today when Tony Romo was kissing a pretty brunette woman when he finished his press conference about his new 67 million dollar contract. People there said the same woman was at the game he played the Sunday before last, leaving in his SUV. After being linked very recently with Sophia Bush and then partying with Britney, I am wondering if this woman lives in a hole and doesn’t hear what all he is up to or maybe she has 67 million reasons not to care.

Romo — who also dated Carrie Underwood and was spotted on the receiving end of a lap dance from Britney Spears this weekend — signed a 6-year extension to his contract with the Dallas Cowboys today, to the tune of $67 million dollars.

Tony, Tony, Tony.

You’re gunning for Paris Hilton, aren’t you?

She’s got a talk show. She’s got ANTM. She’s got modeling gigs. And now it looks like Warner Bros wants to expand their relationship with Tyra, signing her to executive produce a series of direct-to-DVD films based on the popular young adult Clique novels.

“I’ve been a mean girl and I’ve been teased, so I identify with both sides of it,” Banks told Daily Variety. “This is very much my brand, especially as teenage girls are dedicated to watching both my shows.”

Variety also says:

The “America’s Next Top Model” producer-host has also carved out a series development deal with the CW, which is half-owned by Warners. Agreement covers both scripted and nonscripted projects.

Hyphenate is set to continue on “Top Model” and as host of her syndie gabber, which is produced via Warner’s Telepictures unit. “Top Model” has just begun lensing in Gotham on its 10th cycle.

I’m gonna translate from Variety-ese to English:

Tyra is also on the hook to develop one or more television series to air on the CW. These may be reality TV shows, or they may be standard sitcoms. Let’s all just pray they’re not dramas. Tyra continues to host ANTM and her talk show. ANTM has just begun filming its 10th cycle in NYC.

So basically:

Tyra Power!

Enjoy the trailer for Mad Money. It’s like Oceans 11. But without any of the entertainment value.

I mean, I hate to be all anti-feminist here, but it’s really, really hard to make a bank-heist movie with chicks and expect it to sell. This will bomb.

“Before I started working,” she says. “I would have said, ‘You know, it’s not really fair, because I didn’t choose this.’ But when you decide to be a part of this profession and put yourself out there, then you kind of have to accept what it is.”

She continues to tell the media that fame “is a 24-hour job. It doesn’t matter if you are going out to a restaurant – you have to be aware of what you are doing and how you look and how you are presenting yourself, because most of the time people never get to know you.”

Rumer. Darling.

I hate to break it to you, but I can’t name a single thing you’ve been in. IMDB barely can. You do not have a profession. Your profession is having us talk about you because you’re Bruce Willis’ daughter and Tallulah’s not really old enough yet and we get bored of the same five people around here all the time. We write about you in much the same way we write about Paris Hilton’s shoes; you’re an accessory. That’s all. We’ll tire of you soon enough, don’t worry.

Okay.

Love Alicia Witt.

Hate the outfit.

She’s single-handedly making Law & Order: Criminal Intent watchable again. Her character is kind of like a female Vincent D’Onofrio, except you don’t want to tear your hair out and eat it every time she shows up on the screen.

This dress, though?

Blech.

Not surprisingly, the Catholic church doesn’t much like Britney Spears. [MollyGood]

Hayden Panettiere saves the whales! [INO]

Padma Lakshmi might be reuniting with her husband. [FListed]

That Lauren Conrad sure can carry a lot of beer. [Drunken Stepfather]

Nicole Richie denies that she was smoking cigarettes while pregnant. [Cele|bitchy]

“I May Not Be Mr. Right, But I’ll Fuck You Til He Shows Up.” [Celebslam]

Lindsay Lohan is attending tango shows now. [Use My Computer]

Sienna Miller takes a cigar like a champ. [Agent Bedhead]

Um, did Heather Mills kill a dog? [Gabby Babble]

Carmen Electra side boob. ‘Nuff said. [Jordan]

Check out my take on last night’s episode of The Hills. [Film.com]