This is so awesome. JLo’s pre-superfame hubby, Ojani Noa, was planning to publish a tell-all book accusing Jennifer of having several affairs during their marriage, including one with current husband Marc Anthony. But Jen put the smack-down on him, and now she’s been awarded nearly $545,000 in a lawsuit over the issue. (Only $200,000 of that is in damages — the rest is to cover legal and arbitration fees.) Her lawsuit claimed that Noa had violated a previous lawsuit settlement preventing him from revealing private information about their relationship.

This is my favorite part: the arbitrator also decided that Noa should have a permanent injunction preventing him from “criticizing, denigrating, casting in a negative light or otherwise disparaging or causing disparagement” to Jennifer. This is the coolest thing ever. I don’t know how she got someone to agree to this, but I would like to take all my ex-boyfriends to this arbitrator. Also: my mom, my high-school art teacher and my therapist.

Noa was also directed to give Lopez or her attorney all copies of materials related to the book.

Vivica A. Fox, who was arrested in late March on two counts of DUI, was ordered by a judge to abstain from drinking alcohol until she is arraigned on DUI charges on Sept. 5.

According to the court, Vivica “can be around it because of the nature of her work, but she cannot consume or possess it.”

If she is convicted on all charges, she faces a maximum of six months in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Jail is totally the new rehab. Say what you want about Paris Hilton, but that little bitch is a trend-setter in everything she does. This fall is going to be so awesome. Everyone’s going to jail. I bet there are reporters all over LA who are trying to figure out exactly what they want to get arrested for in the coming weeks so that they can spend a few days in Lynwood with the rest of Hollywood. I think National Enquirer already has their bail figured into next month’s budget.

Gina Glocksen, the “rocker” chick from American Idol, got engaged to her boyfriend, Joe Ruzicka, on Tuesday at the Rosemont, Illionois stop on the American Idol tour. (That’s still going on? Do people actually go to that?) The couple lives in nearby Naperville, and Joe is a high school science teacher. The engagement was caught on video, and would be really cute if it weren’t for some annoying bitch squealing in the background the whole time.

LeAnn Rimes is making her feature film debut with a small part in 2008’s Good Intentions, which is currently filming outside Atlanta. Her husband, dancer Dean Sheremet — to whom she’s been married since 2002 — was on-set with her, looking very important with headphones and all, although IMDB doesn’t credit him in any way on the film. I’m sure the producers just love having him hang out on set all day.

While Molly Sims spilled what looks to be a strong vodka cran on her lovely white blouse at Samantha Ronson’s birthday party, SamRo herself walks out looking clean as a whistle in an all-white ensemble. Hey, you know what else is white? Yeah.

Meanwhile, pay special attention to the really cool pill-shaped necklace she’s sporting (wonder what’s inside?) and the two packs of Marlboro Reds that apparently wouldn’t fit into her huge-ass bag. You’re so cool, Samantha.

They can’t wear a goddamn white blouse to a night club without spilling a red drink on it.

Molly Sims, I feel your pain.

But the weird guy you’re with? I can’t say I relate.

Leaving Samantha Ronson’s birthday party at Guy’s last night.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

So you know those lollipops that Britney’s always sucking on? According to National Enquirer, they’re not so much the sort of candy you’d want your kids to have in their mouths. Rather, they’re the sort of candy you’re afraid your kids will pick up from the pervy old neighbor’s house on Halloween. According to The Enquirer:

Britney was introduced to the “drug lollipops: while on her “ONYX” tour in Europe in 2004, said her friend. In Amsterdam, she visited legal marijuana cafes where the lollipops were sold.

After the tour, Britney found a place to buy marijuana “pops” in Santa Monica, said the source. But the insider claims she soon graduated from marijuana-laced lollipops to pops laced with a morphine-like drug that’s an even more potent narcotic.

“The morphine-laced pops are round and look like gumballs,” said the source. “Britney was photographed with them in New York right before her breakdown. Sometimes she’d pass out after sucking a morphine pop. She mixed it with alcohol and could barely stand up and ended up throwing up.

“Now it is as if she uses the pops as a substitute for pain pills or Vicodin.”

The ‘pops were approved by the FDA in 1998 to treat severe pain in cancer patients. They contain the powerful narcotic painkiller fentanyl citrate. The drug is highly addictive and 80 times more potent than morphine.

Britney, who knows she has to get her shit together if she wants to tour or perform at the upcoming VMAs (she’s hired an agent just to try to land her a spot on the show), has contacted a Hollywood addiction specialist to help her kick the habit. This doc uses a new drug called Suboxone, which allows patients to detox on an outpatient basis. Approved by the FDA in 2002, Suboxone is one of the first addiction-fighting drugs that can be prescribed and administered from a doctor’s office.