Jump in to see which up-and-coming starlet commandeered the DJ booth at a recent party she hosted in Miami Beach.

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At the Planet Hollywood Casino in Las Vegas. Tommy Lee was there, of course, along with Hans Klok, the magician whose Vegas show she appeared in this summer.

And if she weren’t 40, I’d totally be all like, “Check out that baby bump.” But, you know, she’s 40, so this is just what her stomach looks like now. Which isn’t really the worst thing ever, but I probably would have chosen a different dress.

How many days until the uncensored versions of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo naked hit the web? We’re taking bets. [Drunken Stepfather]

The Noxema girl gets to touch McSteamy’s wee wee. [Gabby Babble]

Holy shit. So, you know Criss Angel, that magician who’s been famous lately for dating Cameron Diaz?? He’s married, and he’s having some trouble making that bitch disappear. [GTS]

Don’t fucking tell Elizabeth Hurley that a six-year-old can’t rock a leopard-print bikini without it being too sexual. [Celebrity Smack]

Movie critic Joel Siegel passed away. [popbytes]

Jodie Sweetin got some new titties, so either she’s prepping for a comeback or she’s the Olsen twins’ new drug mule. [The Blemish]

Nicole Richie’s all like, “Look, I may have been a heroin addict, but I looked fucking good doing it.” [POTP]

Jesse Metcalfe’s preparing for his brief and torrid affair with the music industry. [Holy Candy]

Lauryn Hill’s Oakland show turns half the damn audience into refugees. [Cele|bitchy]

People who know me know that I very seldom take an interest in
1) Former prostitution ring runners
2) Laundry, or the opening of Laundry Mats.

However, when the two come together you can just look out.

LAS VEGAS (AP) — Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss is diversifying, (opening a laundry mat called) Dirty Laundry in Nevada. Dirty Laundry is a 24-hour, coin-operated laundry — 13 washers and 14 dryers — the one-time leader of a high-priced ring of call girls to the stars is opening at a shopping center in Pahrump, west of Las Vegas.

I have nothing but questions going forward. First off, why are all laundry mats coin operated? Are people without their own washer or dryer that much more likely to only have access to rolled quarters? Where are all the debit operated laundry mats? Also, why the one extra dryer? Do people just come in and want something dried? Or are washers 14/13th the size of dryers? Can this story get any better? (That’s a trick question because I know the answer.. which is yes.)

Also, Pahrump is a funny word. Pahrump. Pahrump.

Fleiss, who has become an avid collector of parrots and macaws since moving to Pahrump, said she decided to open the laundromat after the death of one of her pets, a macaw named Dalton.

Wait for it. Wait for it. Okay…. WHAT?? Dalton dying equals a laundry mat? Would a dog dying mean Fleiss was going to tackle Chinese takeout? I’ve also heard anecdotally that Macaws live forever, like longer than humans, so is there in chance that this parrot was…..(insert sinister music) MURDERED?

And not to be a jerk but I would have named the place “Dalton’s House o’ Murdered Macaws.” I think he would have liked that somehow.

Fleiss moved to Nye County in late 2005, after serving a jail term for running the prostitution ring, and announced plans to open “Heidi’s Stud Farm” in the town of Crystal, about 20 miles north of Pahrump. The 20-man operation would be Nevada’s first legal bordello catering exclusively to female customers.

Ah yes, the old “stud farm” concept. Who hasn’t thought of opening one of those? You get 20 guys willing to throw their meat around and the ladies line up around the block. The only question is where Charlie Sheen fits in to all of this.

Crikey, I forgot to mention the photo. That’s Heidi Fleiss dressed as some sort of Marmot. Enjoy!