Just because I don’t care about Live Earth doesn’t mean you can’t. Here are all the links you need. [Bree]

Actually, I lied. Popbytes has the YouTube videos of all Madonna’s Live Earth performances, and you need that, too. [popbytes]

Jennifer Garner tries her hand at surfing. [Drunken Stepfather]

Megan Fox is gunning for her spot as D.A.R.E.’s next poster child. Do they still have D.A.R.E.? Or is it safe to assume they’ve just given up on preventative education and begun sending third-graders to Promises? [Allie]

Amy Winehouse is on a concert-cancellation bender. I’m guessing there’s also some liquor involved. [Agent Bedhead]

Okay, Eva Longoria is married. This event truly ushers in a new era, a blessed time in which we have no earthly reason to care about Eva Longoria anymore. Got it, people? This is the end of Eva Longoria coverage around here. You want it, go get it somewhere else. [A Socialite's Life]

Daniel Radcliffe has absolutely no problem banging groupies who only want to sleep with him because he’s famous and not because they genuinely care about the person he is inside. [Cele|bitchy]

Ryan Cabrera, who I believe released an album at some point in the early ’90s, was spotted at Atlantis in the Bahamas with girlfriend Riley Keough, model/Elvis Presley’s granddaughter. The two have been linked for almost a year now. She looks more like Lisa Marie every day, and, lucky for Ryan, she finally turned 18 in May.

Outside Hyde on the fourth of July … anyone know who this guy is?

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

Ah, D-list love.

Perhaps Kim Stewart was dissatisfied with the level of press coverage she was getting from porking Tommy Lee, or perhaps she was acting on orders from Paris Hilton, who was quietly managing to ruin Lindsay Lohan’s life even while waging war on jail recidivism rates by creating transitional housing for former female inmates having her hair extensions dyed. Or maybe these two just share that special bond two people inevitably forge when they’re both famous for absolutely nothing.

Whatever the reason, Kimberly Stewart and Calum Best were spotted leaving Il Sole together on Friday night, and the buzz on the street is that they were there on a date. Make of it what you will.

It is such a slow news day that the L.A. Times ran a piece on the young lady who inherited Paris Hilton’s most recently discarded cellular telephone number.

Shira Barlow had her new cellphone number for only two days when the flood of calls began.

Birthday wishes, inquiries about locations for “in” parties, requests to get on guest lists at the hottest Los Angeles nightclubs.

Most of the calls were placed between 2 and 4 a.m. on weekends. Some were annoying. Many involved slurred words.

So what sort of juicy details do you learn when you’re the possessor of Paris Hilton’s old phone number? Nothing, really, because anyone who Paris actually gives a shit about already had her new number. Instead, you’re primarily hearing from hangers-on and brown-nosers.

Barlow was at her internship at a Westside production company May 4 when Hilton was sentenced to jail.

In short order, calls and texts that previously inquired about parties and nightclubs were replaced by dozens expressing their condolences.

“People were scared for her,” Barlow said.

The phone traffic trailed off when Hilton entered jail, even during her brief release to home detention.

But with Hilton now free again, a new crop of communiques is flooding Barlow’s telephone.

There was Hilton’s former bodyguard who sent his love.

A girlfriend called to commiserate and lend support. Barlow told the caller she had received good wishes from dozens of people.

Text messages also expressed love. “It’s disgusting how they treated you in there, but once again you have showed the world that you can do anything,” one wrote. Said another: “I’m so proud of you.”

“I hope you’re enjoying Maui,” one of the messages read Wednesday.

Ms. Barlow took it upon herself to text some of those people back with “thanks so much,” because she thought Paris would appreciate it.

Not only are TMZ’s photogs filming rats outside of Koi, TMZ is then running a story about said rats.

OMG.

It is such a boring day.

Did anything interesting happen to you guys today? If anything interesting, exciting, dramatic or funny happened to you today, shoot me an email (evilbeet@gmail.com) about it and I’ll run your story here. Feel free to attach pics. Just not of rats, please.

If I were Britney Spears, by now I’d keep a pile of Non-Disclosure Agreements in my bedside drawer, right next to the condoms. (Condoms? Who am I kidding?) Real-estate investor-slash-drug-counselor John Sundahl, 38, is the latest in a seemingly inexhaustible list of men who are happy to gab to the press about how much fun it is to fuck Britney. Sundahl stands out from the crowd, though, by being the first one to drag bowel surgery into this mess.

“When I was in the hospital [for bowel surgery]” he says, “she sat with me and held my hand all night long. She even sang and hummed to me while I was practically unconscious … I love being around her. She’s a sweet, caring girl and a good mom.”

Continues Sundahl, “When she visited me in the hospital, she even offered to take custody of all the painkillers they were giving me, because she knows I struggle with substance abuse, and she didn’t want me to be surrounded by temptation. She came every day, bright and early, to take those demons off my hands. And all that she asked in return is that I never speak the word ‘bowel’ in her presence.”

Spears and Sundahl reportedly met after she left Promises and sought him out as a drug counselor. You know, for the addiction problem she doesn’t have.