After toting a bag sporting Maoist slogans through Machu Picchu, Cameron Diaz decided not to pull a Simon Stiles (I’m sorry, I haven’t given up on Studio 60 yet) and issued a formal apology.

“I sincerely apologize to anyone I may have inadvertently offended. The bag was a purchase I made as a tourist in China and I did not realize the potentially hurtful nature of the slogan printed on it.”

So that’s that. Case closed. Cameron Diaz neither speaks Chinese nor supports Maoist philosophy. I will be so glad when Paris Hilton’s out of jail and this shit isn’t news anymore.

Peaches Geldof brings ennui to a whole new level. [Agent Bedhead]

Kanye West admits he’s been “swimming in wack juice.” But not in, like, an R. Kelly way. [Bree]

Foxy Brown dumps her boyfriend because she finds out he’s an (actual) pimp. Then this dude sends a bunch of his bitches after her and they kick her ass and rip out her weave. [Bossip]

Marissa Miller reminds me that I need to call my plastic surgeon before summer’s over. [Drunken Stepfather]

David Lee Roth used to pay a $100 bonus to the crew member who brought the hottest chick to his dressing room after a show. [Celebslam]

Demi Moore is tired of her teenage daughters getting all the attention, so she decided to run around in a very, very see-through shirt. It’s win-win, really. [The Blemish]

You know, I’d make some comment about Brooke Hogan wearing a goddamn leopard-print bikini, but it’s still a huge improvement over her ass-less denim jeans. [Yeeeah!]

Nicole Richie loves that you all think she’s pregnant. She’s having way more fun with this than we are, I promise. [Ninja Dude]

Katie and Price and Peter Andre have been on my TV all weekend. I am a bit of a fan of their show on E! “Katie and Peter.” Even though they are super tacky I honestly believe that these two are actually a match made in reality TV heaven. To celebrate their love they decided to record a version of “A Whole New World.” This is something that you need to check out. Somehow they are able to put every cliche in music video heaven into this music video.

I have to say though I am a bit in love with these two crazy kids.

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the new and improved Paris Hilton.

She’s not doing NBC.

She’s not doing ABC.

She’s not doing CBS.

She’s doing CNN.

Reps from Larry King Live announced that Paris will appear on the program on Wednesday night, after her planned Tuesday release from jail. “We do have Paris on Wednesday,” they said. “She’ll do the whole hour.”

So what about the cool million we heard she was offered by NBC? (They denied they’d made that offer.) “Larry doesn’t pay for interviews or do ground rules,” says the show’s spokeswoman.

Get ready, folks. Paris is a very serious young woman now. Her global outlook has changed. The things that once mattered to her now seem petty and trivial. Expect to hear her well-informed musings on Iraq, terrorism, the AIDS epidemic and third-world economies. Everything is going to be so different. For at least a week or two.

Mark my words on this, people. I’m just saying now that I called it. And if I’m still doing this shit in five years I will refer you all back to this post when she’s ridiculously famous. Also, if I’m still doing this shit in five years, kill me.

Rumer’s the oldest, and she’s kind of tip-toeing onto the celebutante scene, and we’re trying to welcome her because God knows we need some new blood around here, but the fact is she’s not all that attractive or interesting and photos of her tend to fall a little flat.

But Tallulah? Look at her. The camera loves this girl. Your eye immediately goes to her. She has that thing. She just looks like trouble. She’s only 13 now, so you’ve gotta give her a few years to build up a drug habit, but I guarantee you people this girl is going to be all over these blogs by 2011 or so.

At the Live Free or Die Hard premiere in NYC.

In his most recent interview:

I’m not firing back at anybody else in the cast but T.R. Knight and Katie Heigl because they both know as well as Chandra Wilson knows that T.R. Knight was very tactical in trying to remove me from the show because he knows that I know, and I was gagged, that he has been working on a conspiracy to get Patrick Dempsey and myself off the show for the last year and a half.

The only reason I used his name, T.R., in the argument was because he had led me to believe that Patrick Dempsey was so abusive and so horrible to people in a two and a half hour conversation on the plane. For two and a half hours, this boy talked my ear off, Keith, about how horrible Patrick Dempsey is and how he needs to be removed from the show. And in my argument, the irony of it is that Patrick happened to show some behavior that was very in line with what T.R. was telling me on the plane and I challenged T.R. to deny it or say this isn’t true.

All the dirty macking that he gave me about Patrick Dempsey led me to believe that Patrick was trying to treat me in a disrespectful manner, in the same kind of manner apparently accorded to T.R. that Patrick had treated him. And even to this day, when I went back to the set Patrick Dempsey and T.R. still have a rift and are still not on speaking terms. They do not talk to each other…I know Patrick Dempsey has supported me by stating that if there is anyone that needs to be fired it is T.R. Knight because he has created such a negative environment on that set because he felt like he has not been treated and given the same leading man kinds of story lines that have been given to Patrick and Isaiah. He felt like his character was being treated very caricatureish and dopey and he wanted a change. That’s why you see his character changing so significantly into being all of a sudden this really dopey guy into being this uber he-man that’s sleeping with everyone.

This is something that T.R. Knight has been trying to do and using the incident of the so-called F-word that was targeted at him, which is a flat out lie, to blackmail the writers into doing his bidding, and it’s not working. The producers are not happy about it, and quite frankly, they all think that something has gone awfully awry with the stability of T.R. Knight. And I can freely say this now because I am no longer a Disney employee and I am no longer gagged. But everyone there, including the producers, all the way up to Touchstone, are very disappointed in the behavior of T.R. Knight.

And let me be clear Keith. All of this I’m saying to you has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he’s gay. He came out October 19 as purely a tactical move to do exactly what it did, get public opinion in an outrage to lead them to believe that he is being picked on because he is gay. He could care less about the gay community.

Apparently Isaiah will be appearing on Larry King soon to talk about this some more.

Forget the Addison Montgomery spin-off. Let’s just make the cast live together next season and film a reality series about it! The Real World: Grey’s Anatomy. Who’s with me? Come on, Chandra Wilson!!

Denise, your kids hate this shit.

Seriously, Denise, your kids hate this shit.

Stop. It.

Okay, so remember that girl you knew in college who got the word “love” tattooed on her hip in Chinese? Except what it really said is “I’m a neutered goat”? I know you knew at least one. I knew three. Maybe you even were that girl.

So Cameron Diaz goes hiking around Machu Picchu this week with a super-cute bag with a pretty red star and some fabulous Chinese writing that I’m sure she thought said “faith and love for all.” Except the Chinese writing actually said “Serve the People,” and, combined with the red star, she may as well have stuck Mao Zedong’s face on her T-shirt.

The ringing endorsement of Red China didn’t go over so hot in Peru, where the Maoist insurgency in the 1980s and early 1990s resulted in 70,000 rather brutal deaths.

Of course Cameron didn’t do this on purpose, but it seems to have offended a fair number of Peruvians.

Seriously, people, if you need another reason not to wear any words written in a language you don’t speak, look no further than Engrish.com’s clothing section. Any of you English speakers who have lived in Asia can appreciate how ridiculous it is to see an eight-year-old boy wandering around with an ice-cream cone and a T-shirt that says “Kill me now I want to die.” I’m still kicking myself for not taking a picture of that shit …

I love Lily Allen, and I hate to do this to her, but this is really one of the greatest nip slips I’ve seen in awhile. Lily’s entire breast slipped way out of her shirt during a press conference at the Bonnaroo music festival in England recently, and, of course, there were no shortage of cameras there to immortalize the moment. Jump in for the uncensored version. I gotta say, though: nice tits, Lily. I can see why you were the blow job queen back in high school.

(more…)

I stood up for her for a long time, saying she was naturally thin, but I think even I have to back down now. These pics were taken at Mansion in Miami late last night. She pretty much looks like a bobble-head doll. She was not this thin on the show, you guys. She was thin, but not anorexia thin. This is anorexia thin. She has definitely lost weight since, which seems impossible, considering how damn thin she was to begin with. Oh, Jaslene!!! We can never have our torrid lesbian love affair if you get all ED-ugly. Please eat and be pretty and adorable and cha-cha diva again!!!

Well, if anyone should be shooting up heroin, it’s probably Angelina Jolie, because Lord knows she has thick enough veins. The Skid Row crew is super jealous.

Anyway, we’ve heard talk over the past few months of Angie’s rapid weight loss and her atypically rude behavior toward reporters, but people have seemed generally to attribute it to the stress of coping with her mother’s death. Now, Ted Casablancas tells a different story in this thinly veiled blind item:

Some people love Fake-à-la Ferocity…the rest live to hate her. This do-it-all diva, known to dabble in everything from fab sex to fabber shoes, has her hand in purty much everything these days. Endorsements. Charitable endeavors. Entertainment projects. You name it. And all the wowin’ while, Fake-à-la manages to look super-duper delish in the process. Well, she used to, at least.

Lately, F2’s once enviable bod has changed for the worse. And her hunky man isn’t the only person concerned about the once divinely gifted babe. Nope, now a very few inside Industry types are also concerned ’bout our gal Fakey.

See, F.F. has enjoyed a fairly good reputation in the media and rags…until recently. She’s known for being accessible, candid and honest. How very friggin’ heretical here in lip-cemented T-town!

Apparently, Ms. Ef’s hiding one helluva secret. And I’m the bitch to fill ya in on what, exactly, it is that has those select few Hollywood movers ‘n’ shakers so shaking in their Prada wear, regarding Fakey. She’s got what’s known as…a heroin habit.

Well, she’s hardly the first dame in this drug-infested enclave to fall down that slippery alley, right? It’s just, uh, so damn rich to find this out, knowing how utterly benevolent our do-goodin’ broad happens to be as of late.

Gosh, wonder how long before everyone finds out what’s really behind Fake-à-la’s rapidly withering figure? It’ll be “Paris who?” should that happen, trust.

Could it be true? Angelina Jolie on heroin? I don’t know if I buy this, but far be it from me to argue with Ted Casablancas …

Introducing Phoebe Price. If you don’t know her she really is the go to girl for fashion disasters. This girl has been whoring herself out to the camera for years now and the only reason that she gets her picture taken is because she wears things like this. This gold jacket really makes her look like she should be in some Scientology training video. I also love how her bangles match the jacket.

According to Imdb she is an “International Actress and Model.” I really think that should be changed to “Professional Fashion Don’t.” So in the spirit of covering my bases with the fashion disasters of Hollywood in general I present Phoebe Price.