So what has Paris been up to since her release from jail early Tuesday morning?

Perhaps not surprisingly, she’s been playing dress-up. After sporting a $440 Petro Zillia jacket and $300 Marcella Toshi heels during her catwalk to freedom, Paris had a 9:30 am hair appointment where she got new hair extensions put in. Immediately after, she sat down for an exclusive photo shoot and interview with People magazine.

In the interview, Paris talks about her difficult first nights in jail. “I was basically in the fetal position, basically in hysterics. All of the inmates were very supportive. There were girls next to me. We could talk through the vents and they were just really sweet.”

While People has Paris on their cover, US Weekly is both retaliating at Hilton and scoring some smart PR for themselves by blacking out Paris Hilton coverage in this week’s issue. “The staff and I felt what I believe a lot of people in America are feeling. Which is just enormous Paris fatigue,” said editor Janice Min. “I don’t think we even mention the city of Paris.”

Paris will appear on Larry King Live tonight to do her first televised interview since leaving jail.

Hugh Grant may be off the market once again. After splitting from heiress Jemima Khan in February, it appears Grant had a recent change of heart. The two were spotted together at the Ritz in Paris.

Said a source: “The time they spent apart made Hugh realize just what he was missing without Jemima.”

Rumor has it that Grant may have even proposed to Ms. Khan, although neither of them will comment on that point.

You know, in looking through pictures of the couple, it occurred to me that Jemima Khan is what you’d get if you bred Elizabeth Hurley with Sandra Bullock and then beat the child with an ugly stick. I’m just saying.

The anti-Heidi parties it up at Hyde last night. I like Audrina; she’s cute and seems down-to-earth, and, when she’s photographed, it’s because she happens to be in the same place as the photogs, not because her boyfriend/manager called to let them know she’d be at the beach in a bikini.

After battling ex-wife Dina Lohan in court to get visitation rights with his children, Michael Lohan issued the following statement:

“I look forward to order being restored to the chaos that our family life has become. Lyndsay, Michael, Ali and Cody need stability and both of their parents in their lives. I am anxious to spend time with them and end this cruel, needless separation.”
— Michael Lohan

For additional info or to speak with Michael contact the following:

Leslie Kellner Taylor
Big Machine Media
575 Lexington Ave.; 4th Floor
New York, NY 10022
Ph: [REDACTED]

This statement has everyone up in arms, because, of course, Lindsay’s name is not spelled “Lyndsay,” and, as her father, he should probably know this.

Look, I’m not about to throw my full support behind Michael “Shoe Assault” Lohan, but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that the misspelling is the fault of one Leslie Kellner Taylor, who was all too happy to sign her work.

Mentos has hired Trevor, a lovely little intern, to do stuff on the web that people suggest all day long. You can log onto Trevor’s website and put something in his schedule for him to do the next day. If you are really bored at work today at 3pm today he will be teaching us the Electric Slide.

The website is kind of addictive and I haven’t figured out what I want him to do yet. Our friends at Dlisted have asked him to do dirty things but I guess he won’t do anything too racy. Darn. He actually did just make out with a giant tube of Mentos.

I’m thinking I want him to do Britney Spears’s “Hit Me Baby One More Time”…the dance and all. That seems fun. He probably does have a musical theatre degree from Northwestern anyway.

Go ask Trevor to do something and let me know when he is doing it. Yes…I have no life.

Dear Rosie,

Children who are conscripted into the armies of the world have no choice. They are drugged up, given weapons and threatened with their lives to fight for causes that they themselves don’t even really understand.

I have a book that you need to read. “A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier.” Hopefully after reading this you will be less flippant about showing pictures of your young child dressed like a child soldier.

Vivian Rose is a beautiful girl and she doesn’t deserve to be used for you to make a point. I don’t know if you have ever known anyone who has fought for this country or if you respect those who join our armed forces to defend America’s freedom but I would hazard a guess that you have not.

I understand that you are against the war in Iraq and the current administration. Being shocking and inflammatory doesn’t get people thinking it rather polarizes people. Protest smart Rosie. I always thought your little blog was amusing until now.

Think before you post and remember you are comedian not a social commentator. Leave that to those with college degrees.

EvilT

Maybe I’m just not remembering this properly, but I feel like when Making the Band wrapped, she was cute and flirty and sexy, not looking methed-out and giving a goddamn tube of lip gloss blue balls.

Honestly, Aubrey, when the folks at the gifting suite are like, “Aubrey, let us get a shot of you using the lip gloss,” it’s okay to respond with, “No, that would look ridiculous.” Just for future reference.

At the Mondrian in L.A.