I Don’t Have a Boyfriend (aka Liveblogging the Paris Hilton Jail Release)

To their credit, most of the traditional news stations don’t appear to be covering this event, at least not yet. CNN and MSNBC came up empty. But, never fear, Fox News is on the case. It’s all Lynwood, all the time over there.

Of course, the paparazzi are camped out. They’ve been there since last night, lest Paris be released early.

The Hilton family arrived around midnight PST. Word is Paris will be walking out alone. We’re just waiting now…

And here she comes. It’s an interesting scene; she’s flanked by guards and policeman, but they stay ten feet behind her or so. Out in front, it’s just Paris, her hands folded in front of her body, walking the Lynwood runway.

She’s gained weight. Ten, maybe even fifteen pounds. So much for all that stuff about how she couldn’t eat.

She looks happy. Like, genuinely happy. She looks healthy. Her hair’s braided and falling over her shoulder. She smiles and waves to the cameras. She’s not talking to anyone. She spots her mom in the black Escalade and starts running. She hugs her mom through the window. Cameras descend on the car, but Paris manages to climb in. I have no idea how this car is going to move. Guards are basically walking the SUV down the road. Paris is hugging her mom in the backseat.

Ha! Paris is now on probation until March 2009. So if she so much as jaywalks, she’s going back to jail.

No one’s sure where the SUV’s headed, but I suppose we’ll find out soon enough, as there are quite a few news copters to follow it.

Update (12:34 am): Breaking! Paris’ SUV just got off the 110 North and onto the 10 West. This is very exciting. So she could really be headed anywhere west of the 110. Really. To any of her family’s eight homes west of the 110. This would have been way more interesting as if she were headed somewhere east of the 110.

Update (12:42 am): The news stations are reporting she actually lost weight in prison. It really looked to me like she gained weight. The video’s available now. Decide for yourself.

Update (12:45 am): They’re getting off the 10 at what the news stations are calling PCH. I don’t think this is PCH. I don’t think she drove west of the 405. But who knows. Mr. Hilton did a kick-ass little maneuver where he moved toward the exit at the very last second, evading most of the paparazzi SUVs tailing him and nearly causing a wreck at the off-ramp. They’re stopped at a light, so everyone’s getting out of their cars to get shots.

Update (12:55 am): Yeah, she didn’t get off on PCH. She’s definitely east of the 405. It looks like they’re headed toward the Hilton grandparent’s home in Beverly Hills. Oh, shit, they’re going to the Beverly Hilton. Ha! Now they’re driving out of the Beverly Hilton. This is too funny. They’re just fucking with the paparazzi now. And advertising Hilton hotels.

Update (1 am): It seems like the final destination is the grandparents’ home. It’s much more private than Paris’ Hollywood Hills home. The SUV pulls up to the compound in Benedict Canyon and through the gates.

I think I’ll go to bed now.

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This entry was posted on Monday, June 25th, 2007 at 11:26 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.