InTouch Weekly is reporting that Lindsers checked into Britney’s alma mater, Promises Malibu, on Monday afternoon. “She finally realizes it’s the right thing to do,” a close friend tells the magazine. “She is going willingly.”

I dunno, I’m pretty sure our friends at X17 or Splash or Flynet would have had photogs camped out in front of Promises as soon as the most recent pics of Lindsay puking at 4 am hit the Internet. And if any of them has those pics, they haven’t posted them yet. I’ll believe it when I see the pictures, people!!!

I’ll be glad if she’s gone back to rehab, but I’m sticking to my guns on this one: bitch needs to get out of LA. Malibu is still LA. Go to a rehab in Arizona, Linds, or Utah or New Mexico or something. Just get out of LA.

All you fans out there should get a kick out of this.

Remember Surya Bonaly? If you were a big fan of skating in the early 90s you would have watched her skate along with Oxana Baiul and do her signature move, the single bladed back flip.

Surya was always a rebel in the world of ice skating. In her last competitive skate, when she knew that a fall had taken her out of medal contention, she did a back flip (which the judges did NOT enjoy) and ended up finishing last. It was an F-U to the rigid skating world and an awesome moment in ice skating.

I had forgotten about her until I came across these photos of her skating at the “Champions on Ice” Tour. I guess she still is skating away and doing her cool back flipping. I think ice skating needs some more rock stars like Surya.

Here are some more pics of Surya and Sasha Cohen at “Champions on Ice.”

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer’s brief attempt at rekindling their romance in Cabo leaves her in tears. [The Bosh]

It’s officially 0001 in the Year of Our Lord and Savior Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. [Cele|bitchy]

Oh, and Gwen Stefani’s kid had a birthday, too. [GTS]

There are many reasons why Britney Spears should not be allowed to wear white, but perhaps the most important of them is that she always spills on herself. [Celebslam]

Anthony Kiedis knocked up his girlfriend. [Agent Bedhead]

Heather Locklear learns to surf in a bikini. [Drunken Stepfather]

Beyonce in a bikini (and no make-up … scary!). [Derek Hail]

Is Diana Ross’s son the latest on the long list of Kim Kardashian conquests? [Bossip]

The Jolie-Pitt clan feeds some whales. [Daily Stab]

Is Kathy Griffin taking over for Rosie O’Donnell on The View? That would almost entice me to watch regularly. Almost. [Holy Candy]

Kate Hudson has nice abs. [The Blemish]

Eve’s new video for “Tambourine.” [popbytes]

Fame has not done much for this girl’s looks. I think she’s aged about 10 years since Danity Kane released their first album. Just sayin’.

At the Life Ball party in Vienna on Friday.

I am speechless.

At Pure in Las Vegas last night for the Hostel: Part 2 release party.

These pictures were taken before Mischa’s reported bad trip and hospital visit on Sunday. Ironically, in these pics, it looks like Nicole’s the one who needs to be rushed to the hospital. Hair is not supposed to look like that, Nicole.

She’s just so fucked up out of her head that she’s puking, only two days after her DUI. Addiction is a complicated disease, but spotting it is not, in Lindsay’s case. A normal person would be like, “Holy shit, I got a DUI. That is a really horrible thing. I could have seriously injured myself, my friends or someone else on the road. Man, drugs and alcohol are making a mess of my life. I’m going to walk away from them for awhile.”

NOT LINDSAY!

She and SamRo — who was basically the cause of her DUI — were out partying at Teddy’s late Sunday night. These pictures were taken at a gas station around 4 am Monday morning.

Lindsay. This sucks. I know. Get help, please. You don’t need 28 days at Wonderland or Promises or an outpatient program — you need to get your ass to a rehab in Arizona and stay there for a few months. There’s another way out of it, I promise. It doesn’t have to be like this, girlie.

From X17:

If you’re gonna steal pix, you’re gonna get burned! Mario Lavandeira decided to infringe one of our images, yet again — as he does usually at least a few times each week — but this time we caught him with a decoy …

X17 sent out this week-old pix of Lindsay Lohan to our UK clients and captioned them like this:
First pix of Lindsay Lohan since dramatic crash with her Mercedes SL 65 in Beverly Hills May 27, 2007 carrying medication May 27, 2007 X17online EXCLUSIVE

Mr. Hilton published the information from the caption and the caption’s a FAKE, JUST LIKE HIM! And though he always claims he doesn’t know the origins of the images he uses that are ours — you can see that our captions clearly state that the images are from X17. That’s what you get when you read Perez!

The real, exclusive Lindsay photos from early this morning are coming soon on X17!

In fact, every image of Lindsay that Perez has used so far, to illustrate the story of Lohan’s DUI, is an X17 image. See you in court, Mario!

Here’s the link to the story Perez ran, along with some screen captures for when he pulls it.

It’s funny that Perez seems to have something against X17 specifically. When Creative Age publications called him out on using one of their images for his logo, he removed the logo and changed his favicon. Now this may be, in part, because I think he’ll probably try to make a satire case for his use of X17’s images, and that shit probably won’t fly with his logo (not that it’s likely to fly for the rest of the pics, either). But he uses Buzz Foto’s images with their watermarks, and always credits them. Most of the rest of his pics come from WireImage. Every now and then he’ll steal from Splash or Flynet, but most of his stolen images are X17’s, and despite their lawsuit, he continues to do so. I think this shit is personal.

Oh, Memorial Day weekend. I have to be honest, kids, I caught about 30 seconds of local news tonight before The Simpsons, and they were interviewing people with family in Iraq at some event in downtown L.A., and I was like, “Oh, shit, that’s right! This is the holiday about war veterans!” I get it confused with Labor Day. (What’s that one about, anyway? Slaves?) And, admit it, for most of you, Memorial Day weekend is not about remembering our soldiers abroad or at home; it’s about getting so incredibly fucked up you can’t remember where you live, let alone the troops.*

Well, Mischa Barton was doing her part to support our shrooms at a house party on Sunday, where she was tripping so hard she thought she was dying. She made such a scene that an ambulance was called, and she was taken out of the party on a stretcher by paramedics. She was hospitalized immediately, and remains in the hospital tonight.

Her reps are trying to spin it like she had a few alcoholic beverages while she was on antibiotics, but seriously? What the fuck were the antibiotics? Shrooms? Because if mixing alcoholic beverages with antibiotics regularly landed people in the hospital, I’d be so fucking dead right now. It’s birth control you’re not supposed to mix with antibiotics, people (and birth control should, for the record, always be in the mix with alcohol, but I digress).

Mischa has a long and illustrious history with drugs, with many a photo of her smoking weed circulating the Internet. Remember this? Or this? Or when her kid sister checked into rehab in February? Yeah.

You know what’s sad? Part of me is feeling like she’s really responsible, since she didn’t drive. Sigh.

*For the record, here at The Evil Beet, we fully support our troops. Our administration is a different story.

Remember this? Yeah. I’m gonna do this until you all hate me. Because, to be honest, I kind of have a girl crush on her. So you can fantasize about that or you can just ignore these posts, or you can do both, I suppose, but you sure as hell can’t stop me. Jaslene was at the Indy 500 on Sunday (which was won by Ashley Judd’s hubby). She was joined by Patrick Dempsey and Ian Ziering (who, if we’re being honest, looks good these days). Enjoy!

These are seriously some of the cutest pictures I’ve seen come across the wire in a long time. Ashley Judd’s husband, Dario Franchitti, won a rain-soaked Indianapolis 500 on Sunday, and she was there to celebrate with him. She just looks so genuinely ecstatic in every single one of these pictures. I don’t know the first thing about racecars or NASCARs (I assume this is NASCAR, because it’s definitely not horse-racing, right?) and I still don’t know how to drive a stick shift, but HOORAY DARIO FRANCHITTI!!!