Neve Campbell, who you’ll remember from when she used to be famous, is reportedly planning marry British actor John Light at a secret Malibu location this weekend. Neve moved to London two years ago, primarily to live with Light, but also because it’s as good a place as any to make your eyes real narrow and furrow your eyebrows and let the slightest trace of a tear build up while your lips part just the tiniest bit and turn down a little around the edges, make small, sad choking noises and hope someone wants to film it.

Via Page Six:

HEARING the enraged voicemail message from Alec Baldwin to his daughter brought a flood of bad memories back to the man who first introduced the “30 Rock” star to Kim Basinger on the set of 1991’s doomed “The Marrying Man.” “It all kind of brings it to the surface again for me personally,” said David Permut, producer of more than 20 movies, whose latest, “Charlie Bartlett” with Robert Downey Jr., just premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival. “If I were homeless on the streets and had a tin cup in my hand and somebody pulled me off the sidewalk and offered me a script to produce with Alec Baldwin committed to starring in it, I’d pass.” While “The Marrying Man” was a flop, it achieved legendary status because of Baldwin’s expensive flare-ups with Disney executives, which included wall-smashing, cellphone-destroying and chair-throwing. Reflecting on the star’s current critical success on NBC, Permut told The Post’s Mandy Stadtmiller, “When he plays a no-good [bleep], he excels. My personal feeling is that when he has to portray anybody with some vulnerability and sensitivity, I don’t think the audience buys it.”

Taken a month ago, apparently, at a friend’s house. Seriously, though, I have seen her vagina. Three times. This is painfully uninteresting.

Update: Sigh. SplashNews continues their fun-sucking tour of sucking the fun out of everything. I love it when they come to visit. Sometimes Chris even comments, and that makes me so happy. He comes to police the site, but he just can’t help getting sucked into all the fun we have around here! Then he comes back later to suck it all away. Pics pulled on request. They’re visible here. Everyone go say hi to our friends at SplashNews!

At Parc last night. Anyone know who this tiger is? I hate to admit it, but he’s pretty hot. I don’t normally go for the low-cut shirt look on guys, but he’s pulling this off. I guess if Paris Hilton is going to flit around with that Josh Henderson nobody, Lindsay has to find herself someone equally pretty and irrelevant to tote to nightclubs.

Photo credit: BuzzFoto

Last night, Britney Spears returned to the stage for the first time since 2004 in a “surprise” performance at the San Diego House of Blues. While the “surprise” was sort of ruined over a week ago, as Internet murmurings began that the unknown “M+Ms” with the upcoming HoB tour was actually Britney, the pop tart kept fans guessing until the very last minute: her set began over two hours late. (Perhaps because her tour bus was pulled over for “disturbing traffic” on the way down to San Diego). Beginning around 10 pm, the actual performance lasted just sixteen minutes. She performed five songs: Baby One More Time, I’m a Slave For You, Breathe On Me, Do Something and Toxic. Check out video of a portion of the performance here.

Brit wore a brunette wig, a pink sparkling bustier and a tiny white skirt with knee-high boots. She lipsynched all the songs but danced her butt off, and most of the 650 fans in the audience seemed to be happy with the performance. She spoke only four words during the performance: “Thanks everyone for coming.”

There are still reportedly two more stops on the Britney Spears Comeback Tour: the HoB in Anaheim tonight, and the HoB in West Hollywood tomorrow night. We’ll see if Brit makes it on time to any of those.

Katie Holmes on the set of her new movie “Mad Money” has been seen getting very cozy with her co-star Adam Rothenberg. According to MSNBC,

“They shot a scene in which Adam wrapped his arms around Katie’s waist, then the two of them had an intimate discussion. They lingered after the director said ‘cut,’ and it got everyone talking.”

I’m guessing that her love life isn’t very satisfying if you know what I mean. I heard rumors that Tom Cruise doesn’t like to over-use his member and rather likes to keep it “pure.”

Katie thankfully is working again which is the best part of this story. I think she should do everything in her power to get away from that crazy Tom Xenu Cruise.

The picture above was taken by a crew member on the set and is in between takes. It is from Adam’s own fan blog.

Hide the women, children, and small furry mammals because this thing is about to get real. Real real. Somehow, against all odds, Lindsay Lohan is not yet 21. Forget the fact that she’s gone to rehab and been photographed around 7,000 times out getting hammered. The girl still has to celebrate being able to get into clubs. That’s right, it’s bday blast time for Lohan. And I have a feeling the invitations will have ??? on the part that shows when the party ends.

She told Ellen DeGeneres (according to People)

“I’m going to milk it because it’s a big birthday,” Lohan, who plans to mark the July milestone with a bash in – where else? – Las Vegas, says on Wednesday’s The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

“Milk it,” for those not in the know, means enough cocaine to fell a traveling circus. Have you seen those Sweet 16 deals MTV films? She’s going to make those look like bingo night down at St Jude. It’s going to be nasty. They will have to hose that place down when it’s all over.

I say we start working on tickets now Beet, I’ll bring a fifth of moonshine, you bring the good looks.

Brit kicked things off with a 16-minute show at the San Diego House of Blues last night. Check out video of her performing “Toxic.”