Have you ever really missed a deceased relative? Me too. Keith Richards might have, he might not have, but he’s definitely crazy either way.

From AP LONDON:

Keith Richards: The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father,” Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME. “He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared,” he said. “… It went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.”

His father was cremated and Keith snorted the ashes. Hmmm. Well at least he had the good sense to mix pops with blow. Classy.

We will now only run posts on things Keith HASN’T snorted in the interest of time.

I am all for getting plastic surgery on your body. Get some boobs! Lift your butt! Lipo lipo lipo. Ladies, however, stay away from messing with your face.

Lip injections, too much botox, and a few unfortuneate nips and tucks have made Nicole Kidman a creepy version of her former self. Take a cue from Michelle Pfeiffer. She has allowed herself to age gracefully and still looks like herself.

You can’t be young forever, and somehow I have a feeling Nicole has aged herself by being too thin and tweaking with her natural beauty.
Here are some pictures of Nicole pre-plastic.

Owen and Kate last Friday went on a cozy lunch date in Santa Monica. After Owen, Kate’s “You, Me and Dupree” costar, broke up her marriage to that uggs rocker guy there were rumors that the relationship was over as Owen is a notorious toxic bachelor. I am guessing, from the looks of this photo, that their relationship is back on.

They actually look really cute together. I don’t care if Kate cheated, she is just adorable.

Here’s a video of that song Michael Jackson and Ed Murphy did, awesomely called “Wazupwitu.”

I include this because it’s Murphy’s other secret shame (besides knocking up Scary Spice).

On that note Scary Spice has given birth. Her spokesmodel said:

“The baby is completely healthy with a good head of hair,” No name has been decided on as yet, and she is purely known as Baby Brown.”

Ed Murphy has already stated he’ll be asking for a paternity test, and at the Oscars he threw out this little bomb to a reporter:

I don’t know whose child that is until it comes out and has a blood test. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions, sir.”

No I shan’t! Oh no, wait, I shall. Mostly because if the spice rack is willing to go the paternity route she’s probably pretty certain. I’m guessing she remembers who she had sex with around that timeframe.

Oh, and proof that God has a sense of humor: The kid was born on Eddie’s birthday. Which is today. Happy birthday Eddie!

Page Six Gestapo Sayeth:

PRODUCTION of “Grindhouse,” the much-hyped Quentin Tarantino-Robert Rodriguez movie opening Friday, ground to a halt last year when Rodriguez fell for his leading lady, Rose McGowan, and his wife found out.

Nice! Well, it’s not like Rob and his wife had kids or anything, nothing to tether them to an emotionally vacant relationship. Hmm? What’s that?

Rodriguez and his spouse of 16 years, Elizabeth Avellan, raised five kids and worked together, with Elizabeth serving as his co-producer on “Grindhouse,” “Sin City,” “From Dusk Till Dawn,” “Desperado” and “Spy Kids.”

Oh. Well, I think we all know by this point that this Rose chick is nutty, so I’m sure it will be fun times until she tries to knife you or something. Bad move Roberto.

Rodriguez and Avellan insist that their separation is amicable and that they plan to raise their four boys, Rebel, Rocket, Rogue and Racer, and daughter, Rhiannon, together and continue their partnership in Troublemaker Studios.

Yes, he named all his children RR. And he’s dating a Rose. So if they get married that makes her…

Sorry Elizabeth, you were betrayed by your own initials.

Here are some adorable pictures of Berlin’s Knut the Polar Bear in Vanity Fair. The combo of Knut and Leo DiCaprio is just too adorable. The flight against global warmning just got sexy!

Late-night links will be back eventually, I promise. But it’s gonna be weird like this until I have a functioning Internet connection at home. Don’t get me started.

Kim Stewart is super threatened now that her brother is becoming stepmom-covetingly famous. So what’s the fastest way for a semi-famous cute blonde to raise her profile? Hang out with Paris Hilton, of course. But what if you’ve already tried that, like, for years? You go with Plan B: Lindsay Lohan. [Jordan is Your Homeboy]

Mandy Moore fractured her ankle, but even that wasn’t enough to get her out of attending the Kids’ Choice Awards. No one escapes them, Mandy. [Warship]

It’s funny because Kelly Clarkson is an overweight lesbian. [Gabsmash]

Alanis Morissette brings us her very own take on “Lady Humps.” That’s special. [Junkiness]

Courtney Love’s U.S. Bikini Tour continues, giving a whole new meaning to Celebrity Skin. [The Blemish]

Wow, this truly is a very frightening picture. [Ninja Dude]

The MPAA continues to be extremely protective of Elisha Cuthbert. [Agent Bedhead]

Hey, you know what Eva Longoria needs? More make-up. [ICYDK]

All this time she’s spending with Diddy is rubbing off on Sienna Miller — or at least on her friends — as they roughed up some paparazzi as she left a London club this weekend. [A Socialite's Life]