After the season finale of The Hills, the ever-diligent folks over at Radar Online took it upon themselves to call up Heidi Montag’s mother in BFE, Colorado, and get her take on Heidi’s current situation. She swears that Heidi and Lauren are still the best of friends, Spencer is really a very good guy and Heidi is a very smart and responsible young woman who will soon release an album — to which she has written all the lyrics. OMG I can’t wait. If this album ever sees the light of day, I will honestly be the first in line. It will be hilarious.

And, look, I can tell you from experience that if anyone has a strong grasp on the life of a 21-year-old girl living in L.A., it’s her mother living in another state. Lord knows I told mine everything, with total candor. Except for anything that might upset her, worry her, interest her, or in any way motivate her to stop sending me money, or, God forbid, come out to visit. You can read the entire interview here, but I’ve picked out some highlights.

On Spencer: Heidi and Spencer are all about the show. Spencer has given quite a lot of himself to MTV, and they aren’t afraid to put themselves out there. But he’s not a bad guy at all—that’s all in the magic of editing. In fact, he adores Heidi and waits on her hand and foot, and she’d be with nothing less. Of course now it looks like, ew, why would you pick a slime bag over [Conrad], America’s sweetheart? But it’s not the reality. If things were the way they looked on TV, I would come to L.A. and take Spencer out myself.

On Heidi’s fame: No one is surprised. Even as a little girl in a small town she had this energy that has followed her. She took acting classes—not that The Hills is acting!—and would always want to be more grown up. We would let her carry glasses of wine around the house, but they would always be on her nightstand untouched the next day. She just liked the feeling of being older.

On Heidi’s future: As you know, she is recording an album and writing her own lyrics. And she has such a pretty little voice, I think it will be good. The third season is going to revolve more around that, I think. Spencer is helping with the record because he has connections, but if they broke up tomorrow, she would still be able to go on with the connections she has made out in L.A. Really, if you dropped Heidi off in the middle of nowhere she would still be happy.

Whatever Kim Kardashian did to her former “publicist,” I hope she does it again. This is awesome. Jonathan Jaxson — who, if I am researching this correctly, is a 23-year-old gay kid who’s appeared on ever reality TV or talk show he can squirm his way onto — has started his own celebrity gossip blog with a bang, putting Kim Kardashian on blast, touching on such subjects as Paris, Britney, that sex tape, and black men. I’d summarize, but it’s really best if you just read his own words. You can check out his Flash-tastic website here (there’s no permalink for this text, but you can find it under the “JJ’s Blog” tab. I’ve bolded what I feel are the best parts.

Cheers to a new chapter in my life. Blogging. Celebrity blogging. Fuck selling it to others, I am going to type it all here for you to see. This is from a, now, former publicist who at one point or another worked with these stars in some manner.

I guess this is what happens when you threaten someone legally and are bitter of some of those in the entertainment industry.

04.02.2007
KIM KARDASHIAN

This is one woman who has completely used and abused my contacts and work ethic. She will remain semi-famous until Hollywood decides to focus their attention on the real women of Hollywood who work hard for what they have…

I guess you get the spotlight you have always wanted when your:
1) Rich
2) Dad’s Famous
3) You sleep with celebrities.
4) Tag along with some of Hollywood’s hottest and #5
5) Release a sex tape and having someone act on your behalf as your publicist to Page 6 the same day as if you really didn’t know!!!

THE DISH ON PARIS AND KIM
The wannabe is Kim Kardashian, known as Paris Hilton’s former BFF. That is right, former. As this former gal-pal was tired of Paris Hilton’s ways and wanted her own spotlight. Kim claims to not have ever partied with drugs or alcohol, however I have pictures to prove otherwise. She claims that is all that Paris did and it got real old not only partying with her at all times, but being her ’sidekick.’

Most recently Kim was to attend several fashion shows for LA Fashion Week. I had a client attending several events and asked Kim if she were interested in attending and/or walking. Kim said ’sure!’ I booked several shows for her to attend and/or walk, with in the end being asked to ensure her that Paris Hilton would not be showing up to any of them. Kim had not spoken to Paris in three weeks at this time and didn’t want any sort of blow up in public.

While Kim was in NYC during Fashion Week, this past February, she spoke to me regarding the relationship she has with Paris and the fact she is trying to get away from her. She said she was scared that there will be a backlash when she is about to launch her own likeness.

Either way, Kim will never have the same power Ms. Hilton has. I doubt Paris Hilton’s life is hurting without Kim. It is amazing Paris has so much power in the Hollywood circle, especially over these budding socialites.

Much much more after the jump! Thanks to Cele|bitchy for the heads-up.

(more…)

I don’t know much about this girl but I know I love her. She did all those Scary Movie sequels, but she also did Lost in Translation (where her ditzy starlet character was apparently based on Sofia Coppola’s arch-nemesis, Cameron Diaz) and Just Friends (where she played a ditzy starlet again — but she does it sooo well!!!). Anyway, she just filed for divorce from her husband of three years, “actor” Ben Indra. What do you know him from? Nothing, kids. Nothing at all. And with three movies slated to come out in 2007 alone, you can understand why perhaps Anna wanted to try something new. The two have no children together. Faris is being repped in the divorce proceedings by Laura Wasser, who I guess has some free time on her hands now that Britney’s divorce case is winding down.

Hi guys.

The Beet is under seige and I had to gulp down 3.5 hours of Grindhouse last night which means this will be reeking of brevity. Here’s some random thoughts on last night’s Idol.

Please God, let’s put Ton’ Bennett out to pasture. He’s a billion years old and everything he says is laced with old man vibe. “Just sing the words,” “Make sure you hit the words,” “Don’t try for any other notes than I did.” Yawn and a half. The only spark he provided was liking Sanjaya and commenting on the Iraq war. Yowsers. I know I was interested in TB’s thoughts on that front.

Simon needs to fight back with the audience more. People are rude. Stop booing him! If you love everyone you’re hardly objective eh? Also, if everyone is good the show gets really fucking boring. We’re almost there right now. Without Sanjaya, Phil and Haley to watch we’d just be watching a decent pop concert. And frankly I don’t want to watch a decent pop concert.

Winners last night:
Lakisha, Jordin, Chris (not Sligh, the one that hasn’t been voted off):
Lakisha held down the anchor position and rocked it. Jordin, for her young age, seems remarkably composed. Chris, as annoying as he can be, is catching up to Blake at an alarming rate.

Losers: Everyone else.
Haley is pretty much being set up to pose for Playboy. Blake’s voice is composed of one note. Sanjaja trying to sing? Not fun! Melinda is boring. Good, but TiVo fast forward ready. Glockson is fading at the very point she needs to be crushing it. If it weren’t for Haley she’d be sticking out like a hooker with a heart of gold.

That’s all for now. If I’m scheduled to handle the vote-off I’ll do better. Some sort of Haiku for Phil is in order, he’s about to head of to that giant penis-head in the sky place.

Sometimes you need a pick me up, don’t you? This may be the worst movie ever, in the history of the world, and it has Rosie pretending to be mentally retarded.

Only, actually, she doesn’t even do it very well. She just throws on this crazy fozzy “wocka” accent and calls it good. Enjoy!

A judge in New Jersey ruled today that those gigantic machines used to smooth out ice rinks are not motor vehicles and therefore one can operate them while intoxicated without being in jeopardy of getting a DUI.

A judge ruled the four-ton ice rink-grooming machines aren’t motor vehicles because they aren’t useable on highways and can’t carry passengers.

Zamboni operator John Peragallo had been charged with drunken driving in 2005 after a fellow employee at the Mennen Sports Arena in Morristown, New Jersey, told police the machine was speeding and nearly crashed into the boards.

Police said Peragallo’s blood alcohol level was 0.12 percent. A level of 0.08 is considered legally drunk in New Jersey.

Peragallo appealed, and Superior Court Judge Joseph Falcone on Monday overturned his license revocation and penalties.

“It’s a vindication for my client,” Peragallo attorney James Porfido said after the hearing. “It’s the right decision.”

Morris County Assistant Prosecutor Joseph D’Onofrio said no decision had been made on whether to appeal.

Peragallo, 64, testified at his trial that he did drink beer and vodka, but not until after he had groomed the ice. However, he told police he had a shot of Sambuca with his breakfast coffee and two Valium-pills before work.

A sixteen-year marriage and five children are no match for Rose McGowan. [A Socialite's Life]

Jesus loves Scott Stapp so much He’s not letting anyone distribute the sex tape he and Kid Rock made with groupies on their tour bus. [Cele|bitchy]

Halle Berry gets her star on the Boulevard. [popbytes]

That Cameron Diaz sure is attractive. [ICYDK]

Justin Timberlake doesn’t like gossip rags because they make “soap operas” out of the lives of celebrities. I bet Justin Timberlake would like the gossip rags a whole lot less if they stopped writing about him and running his picture. [Celebrity Smack]

They are making a movie version of He’s Just Not That Into You. [Glitterati]

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty should not be allowed to own a video camera. [Agent Bedhead]

Fergie is equal-opportunity easy. [Gone Hollywood]