It’s kind of an older story but I’ve been back on the drugs lately so I’m a little delayed.

But when those blokes across the pond strike at the very heart of America I’m obligated to strike back (like the Empire).

LONDON (AP) — Snoop Dogg and Sean “Diddy” Combs were forced to scrap a tour of Britain after authorities denied Dogg a visa, according to a statement Tuesday.

Oooooh, anger. The Swedes busted him and now authorities are “denying Dogg.” Snoop can’t catch a break in Europe. And yeah, I know you Great Britainers don’t consider yourself to be truly Europe, you’re too special, but I call you Europe anyway. Because really Europe stands for anyone who censors someone like Snoop Dogg, someone who’s special and lovely and full of neat things to share with society as a whole. That’s Snoop, and when you bar him from your country who are you really hurting? The kids, that’s who. And those little bastards are our future.

British Home Office rules state that foreign citizens can be barred from entering the country if there were concerns about their presence.

Umm, he was on The Apprentice. If the Donald has given him the gold stamp of approval why are you standing in the way? Do you not count the L.A. version as a real version of The Apprentice just because ratings are down?

I can only hope and pray that the US military gets involved, perhaps they could parachute Snoop in. Look out United Kingdom, you haven’t heard the last of this. Trust me on that my cousins.

I’m a little late on the draw with this one, but it’s been a hectic week. We actually passed the one million visitor mark about a week ago, and I just wanted to post to thank everyone who visits, comments, links and sends hate mail. You all matter. Especially the people who send hate mail. It reminds us that our readers are engaged, and that’s perhaps the highest compliment of all. Additional thanks are due to Britney Spears and that vagina of hers, and Antonella Barba and, well, that mouth of hers.

Personally, I want to thank Evil T and Spiteful Lars for contributing ridiculously funny stuff here every day. I love you both dearly — without you, this site would probably still mostly be me talking about my cats. I’d still like writing it, but perhaps the audience would be smaller. Thanks also to Film.com for providing me, sans (too much) censoring, an even larger audience for my own special brand of offensive.

Again, I hugely appreciate everyone who visits and everyone who links. You guys always make my day. Unless there’s a Lindsay Lohan crotch shot. Then that makes my day.

xoxo
Beet

Click for the high-res versions of Victoria, David and what one can only assume are the heads of her two youngest sons, who have fallen asleep inside her dress.

I always thought I was a Prince William girl, but that’s one hell of a stomach on Mr. Harry. I think I do have to stick with Wills, though; Queen Beet has a nice ring to it.

Ugh, Bill Clinton, your wife is the first woman in the history of this country with a real shot at winning a presidential election. If you could just avoid using the words “Britney Spears” in any context at all for the next year and a half, that would be really great, okay? [Socialite's Life]

I don’t think it’s that interesting that Cisco Adler, newly split from Mischa Barton, is back in the lap of ex Kim Stewart. But I think it’s very funny that the two were hooking up at the Details magazine “relive your college days” party. If I recall correctly, Kim Stewart attended modeling school, and I think the closest Cisco Adler’s been to a university campus is on the iPod of the eight people who actually listen to Whitestarr. Rock on, kids. [Celebslam]

Shakira goes brunette. Verdict: she’s still adorable. [Drunken Stepfather]

Saturday Night Live takes on Sanjaya. [SOW]

Paris Hilton’s flavor of the week is Desperate Housewives‘ Josh Henderson. [popbytes]

Angelina is still so grief-stricken over the loss of her mother that she can’t eat. But adopt a kid? She’s totally okay to do that. [ICYDK]

I’d actually be okay with Mario Lopez hosting The Price is Right if it kept him too busy to do anything else. I think of it like quarantining a virus. [Mollygood]

Ooh!!! Mary-Kate Olsen, I have solved all your career woes. You should be the next Marlboro Man!!! [PopSugar]

Aww … Halle Berry is still a hometown girl at heart. [Cele|bitchy]

This is the last week that we have all of our celebrity dancers. Tomorrow someone leaves us but thankfully we had two weeks with our lovely dancers. The show this season is quite entertaining. Everybody seems to be having fun no matter how bad they are.

Apolo Anton Ohno/Julianne Hough- Apolo is just so adorable doing the quickstep with his partner Julianne. You can see that they are having such a good time together and I am really impressed that Apolo really got all of the footwork down. I really think I have a thing for speed skaters…I really think he is super hot and being a good dancer…Mr. Apolo is going to be quite the celebrity after this. The judges love him and are very surprised by his dance moves.
Score: 26

Shandi Finnessey/Brian Fortuna- Shandi is trying to manhandle her partner. The one thing about her is that no matter what she does she has a body for days. She looks a bit uncomfortable with this super sexy dance which is shocking because she is a former Miss USA…I heard those girls are crazy. The judges think Shandi looked a bit out of sorts during the number even though she looked beautiful. She didn’t really sell it for me but there were some crazy moves in there so I give her an A for effort.
Score: 20

Clyde Drexler/Elena Grineko- Clyde Drexler is such a sweetie. He is a big guy but tonight he finally just let it all hang out and actually did amazing in the quick stop. I have to say that for a guy who is 6’7’’ he has got some snappy footwork.
Score: 18

Leeza Gibbons/Tony Dovolani-Leeza is adorable during this mambo. She is 50 years old today and for a woman of 50 she is looking great. The judges think she was a big careful for it and that she didn’t get down and dirty enough. I really thought that she looked like she was having a great time and that is the most important thing. I have to say, she has some amazing teeth. I have to say that this woman is incredibly well spoken. It is rare to see such a class act.
Score: 21

Ian Ziering/Cheryl Burke Cheryl is lucky that she keeps getting partners that are pretty light on their feet. Ian’s dad comes in during rehearsals and is the cutest old guy with a big cute dog. It is so cute to see people’s parents. Cheyl Burke is such an amazing dancer and he is keeping up quite well. I am upset now the Steve Sanders never danced on 90210. His dad is in the audience and once again is adorable. The judges think that Ian did well but has a lot of potential to do great things in the competition. They called it “skippy” which is weird since that is what I thought the quickstep was.
Score: 22

(more…)

I hate to agree with PerezHilton who is all hot and bothered for Mika, but this time I have to. His song “Love Today” is such a fun bouncy song that makes you want to go frolic on a beach somewhere after having a few too many fruity cocktails. Love today y’all. The world is a great place. Britney is out of rehab, Linsday stole Stavros and Kim Kardashian is still not really famous.

Check out “Love Today” by Mika.

PS- I know it isn’t the morning, but think of me as that drunk roommate in college who would wake up at 3pm daily and want breakfast. K. Kisses, T

This is like the cutest thing ever. They were all so young! Brian Dunkleman was there! People said “cool beans!” Paula is SOBER! This is a must-see.

[via YBNBY via Pajiba]