ANNA NICOLE! WE MISSED YOU!!

Thank goodness we now have a photo of the dress in which you were buried.

Evil aside, I actually kind of like this dress. You know what it reminds me of? That dress Abigail Breslin wore to the Oscars. Wow. That’s weird.

Okay, okay. Lance Bass wrote a memoir. What is it titled? You have thirty seconds. Go.

If you didn’t guess Out of Sync, you were thinking way too hard. Of course that’s what he titled it. Because, seriously, how much gayer could a title get?

At all of 27 years old, Bass is planning to release a tell-all memoir for release this fall. The book will talk about his experiences with *NSYNC, his training as a Cosmonaut (although he never actually went to space, because MTV, who was supposed to foot the bill, pulled out), his decision to exit the closet in a very public manner, and his then-public relationship with Amazing Race star Reichen Leimkuhl.

I have to admit, although it’s easy to mock Lance for doing this, it’s a hell of lot more respectable than appearing on Dancing with the Stars (isn’t that right, Joey Fatone?). And Chris Kirkpatrick? I don’t think I’ve heard that name since Eminem was rhyming it with “you can get your ass kicked.” So props to you, Lance, and good luck with all this.

I suppose it should be refreshing that the latest celebrity to launch a fashion line actually went to fashion school. Lauren Conrad, former star of Laguna Beach and the last bastion of likability on The Hills (I liked you for one day, Heidi. But then you got back with Spencer and I remembered you suck.), is launching her own fashion line — digitally, on Virtual Hills.

This is more an MTV story than a Lauren Conrad story. Poor MTV has been flailing in the online arena lately, as more of their target demographic turns away from the television and onto the Internet, ignoring MTV Overdrive and the like for social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook. MTV fought back last month by laying off 250 employees and announcing plans to focus on online operations.

They’re trying to hype Virtual Hills and Virtual Laguna Beach here, and they’re using Lauren to help out. Says the PR release:

The introduction of Lauren’s physical and virtual world fashion lines takes the concept of personal expression to new heights for a generation of viewers who take their online persona as seriously as their real-world presence. Reflecting the casual yet smart aesthetic of her real-world attire, the virtual clothing line inspired by Lauren will make its debut in Virtual Hills tonight (http://www.virtualhills.mtv.com), March 6th at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT, where fans will be able to buy clothes with in-world currency.

So, if you’re a teenage girl whose avatar would look cute in Lauren’s clothing, you should check this out. And, if you’re one of the 43-year-old male perverts composing 82% of the Virtual Hills community, with an avatar who would look cute in Lauren’s clothing, you should definitely check this out.

If you actually want to buy Lauren’s clothing line, so you can wear its pieces on your real-life body, no dice. They won’t be in stores until later this year, if ever, because, you know, that’s not really MTV’s priority right now. Hey, Lauren: you should have gone to Paris.

PEEKABOO!!!

Fergie and Josh Duhamel have a very investigative day on vacation in Mexico.

So this article has the Internet all abuzz this morning. It’s an article from the U.K.’s Daily Mail, and it’s been as slow a news week in Britain as it has over here, so this is what they’re running.

Check out the actual quotes here:

Royal photographer Arthur Edwards says, “She’s in love with Prince William. I’m sure one day they’ll get married…I have talked to him about that and he’s made it clear… he wants to get married.”

And then Clarence House is all like “Prince William has no plans to get engaged.”

So will he marry her sometime? Possibly. I think she’s adorable (although I find her taste in hats to be questionable at best) and obviously he does too. She is much loved by Englanders, and I think it would be wonderful for the country if Wills married her (plus princess stories are always fun). Kate is older than Diana was when she married into the royal family (Kate’s 25 now, Diana was barely 20), and so hopefully with that added maturity she will have an easier ride than Diana did.

But I just don’t think there’s anything in this article to imply that Wills is popping the question anytime soon. Daily Mail is bored this week, just like the rest of us; with Anna Nicole in the ground and Britney in rehab, there’s just not much to do but wildly speculate on Prince William’s marriage prospects.

Too funny. American Idol has barred The View from using clips from the show, after Rosie O’Donnell mouthed off about them one too many times. I guess the number-one show in the country doesn’t really need the free PR from ABC’s gabfest, but the girls of The View made a point of laughing about their new punishment (video here), and we’re all going to write about it today, because it’s funny, and a portion of you are going to watch The View tomorrow as a result. So, in effect, the producers American Idol did Rosie and Babwa a big favor here.

I know I’m the only thing even close to a comic book reader around here, Beet and T used to smoke outside the store I frequented and make fun of me. That’s part of the reason I’m so angry today.

But I have news that affects us all, and it’s about comic books. You ready? Brace yourself.

They’ve killed Captain America. It’s true, look here.

Marvel says the comic story line was intentionally written as an allegory to current real-life issues like the Patriot Act, the War on Terror and the September 11 attacks.

Perhaps I’m the only one freaked out by this, but it should be a sad day for us all. When guys named Captain America start getting whacked by fellow Americans it might be time to take a look at some shit that’s going down.