The YouTube title says Tracey Morgan is wasted here but I don’t think so. He’s just a crazy funny bastard. It’s about 30 seconds in when things get interesting, the interviewer clearly wasn’t prepped for who Mr. Morgan was and what he is about.
I love him and I love 30 Rock.
The former reverend exemplifies the qualities we look for in our men of the cloth: love, tolerance, and an awareness that life does not bend to our will. He’s really just all of this and more.
When asked about Britney Spears’ recent stint in rehab, Joe said the following: “I would never let that happen to my daughters. Hopefully, her family will take care of the situation.”
That’s right, Joe. You would never let that happen to your daughters, because you have complete and total control of their lives, which is healthy for all parties involved. At least Britney’s family realized there was a problem and pressed their child to get help. You’d probably just lock Ashlee or Jessica in a basement for awhile. Totally normal.
Hey, Joe, did you catch Dirt this week? It was totally about you. The actor that played you? He even looked like you.
This story is about the guy from the band Blues Traveler, a band you probably don’t recall. But the story is too good to pass up. I would share this with you even if it happened to my uncle.
Here we go.
SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) — Blues Traveler singer and harmonica player John Popper was arrested after the vehicle he was riding in was clocked going 111 mph, the Washington State Patrol said Wednesday. Inside the black Mercedes SUV, officers found a cache of weapons and a small amount of marijuana, the Patrol said. A police dog searched the vehicle, finding numerous hidden compartments containing four rifles, nine handguns and a switchblade knife. Authorities also found a Taser and night vision goggles. The vehicle also had flashing emergency headlights, a siren and a public address system, the Patrol said.
“Popper indicated to troopers that he had installed these items in his vehicle because (in the event of a natural disaster) he didn’t want to be left behind,” the Patrol said in a news release.
This guy rules all! How did he only have one hit back in 1996? He’s clearly got the right stuff for either a comeback or the end of the world.
Godspeed big man.
Here I thought we just had an inexcusable dearth of drinking fountains in the United States, but it turns out there’s another possible explanation for all the “dehydration” hospitalizations we’ve seen in recent months. [Agent Bedhead]
Columbia University students take a five-minute break from their Ivy League navel-gazing to complain about Matt Fox speaking at their school. [SOW]
Phew. Lindsay Lohan is back to being her old irresponsible, drunken self, and we can return to writing article after article about her puke-on-set antics. Sobriety may have been the better choice for her personally, but it was doing nothing for us gossip bloggers, and rehab programs certainly emphasize the importance of being of service to others. Good to see Lindsay is internalizing what she’s learned. [The Blemish]
The next-best thing to American Idol? Is Girls Gone Wild. [Celebrity Smack]
TORI TORI TORI!!! OMG I LOVE YOU TORI!!!! I can’t wait until your whole album leaks is released.[popbytes]
Guess who’s still crazy and possessive? [Yeeeah!]
Carmen Electra may not be important enough to be offered a role in the Baywatch film, but at least she can always shill for a no-name diet pill. [IBBB]
Dude, if I were Rosie O’Donnell, I’d be depressed, too. [Defamer]
First off, I’m sorry I missed the recap last night. I was nice and busy getting this new site up and running, and attending one of Mediabistro’s blogger parties, since the fabulous Kate Coe was kind enough to extend an invite. It was a great chance to reconnect with some of my favorite blogger pals from past events, and make new friends. I still haven’t watched the boys’ performances, so forgive me if I miss an easy joke.
So on to the recap!
Okay. We are twenty seconds into the program. Ryan Seacrest vest-check comes up negative, but unfortunately the turtleneck check comes up depressingly positive. This is not a man with a neck in need of any additional turtling. Honestly. A turtleneck is not supposed to make you look exceptionally turtle-ish, but Ryan looks like a bona fide amphibian right now. Also, Paula is not there. That’s right. They don’t have Paula yet. Awesome. This means she’s wasted. Those are the good days.
We introduce the girls and the judges. Paula is back. “She was underneath the desk,” say Randy and Simon. “Yeah,” says Randy, “she needed to get something for me.” Everyone laughs because it’s really funny when people give head underneath tables. Ask Antonella Barba about it sometime.
(more…)
Timbaland wants to get Britney back on top of the music game and has evidently gotten Justin Timberlake on board to help him. Justin allegedly said he would work with Britney but “she’s just gotta be serious.” Timbaland says that he wants to
“Take her away, go overseas and work (it) out. I just want to hold her hand. I want her to be in my camp, to be around Justin. I need Justin to talk to her. Help her, please!”
I don’t know if I really believe this story but I would like to. A hot Timbaland track with Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake would really make my day. I don’t know if Timbaland could save Brit Brit from her crazy and get her back in shape but this man does do wonders with music.
Maybe he could be her mentor…like in “The Next Karate Kid.” He could be her Mr. Miyagi, teach her martial arts, run with her on the beach and give her hot dance lessons. She needs a spiritual leader and since Madonna didn’t work out so well, Timbaland is the obvious second choice.
OJ is now joking around that he’s the dad of little Dannnnielynnnn. Even better? It seems he’s not joking about the fact that he rushed all over Anna’s field.
Documentary filmmaker Norm Pardo — who filmed 70 hours of footage with Simpson from 2000 to 2005 — told the New York Post that Simpson said “he knew Anna Nicole pretty well, and he said he had slow-moving sperm, and he might be the father.”
This story can not get any weirder. When they make the movie in 50 years (Like Seabiscuit) people won’t believe it could have happened on this planet.
Shout it from the rooftops. The murderer banged the bunny.
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