You are way, way cooler than the cop who pulled me over last week, and much nicer than the cop who pulled me over the week before that. Thanks for being a doll. I will live to terrorize the roads of Los Angeles another day.

With love,
Beet

Also, Paris got that restraining order against ParisExposed.com, further insuring that her latest “passion” project will stay front and center as everyone goes to print next week. Say what you will, but that girl’s a genius.

I’m just not sure. I’m never sure with him. Check out this video of Andy being forcibly escorted off the set of Jimmy Kimmel’s show after getting a little handsy with Ivanka Trump (who, despite all the shit I talk about her, always manages to come off very classy and artciulate).

I’m of two minds regarding the news that Kylie Minogue has split from her boyfriend. My first thought is that Kylie started performing music during the Great Depression of 1812 and thus news of her sexy business isn’t terribly relevant.

My second thought is that she’s still really fucking hot.

Okay, I’ve decided, it’s the latter, so I’m interested to see who is next on the boyfriend list. I’m betting on Prince.

I guess it’s music Saturday here at the Beet.

I’ve just received news that one of my most favoritest bands, Hometown Heroes, is competing to be a part of PhillySoundClash, a Philadelphia battle of the bands type of thing. I’ve been following these guys for, oh, about 8 years, back when they were called Edward Sunnyside and playing local joints in Tempe (go Sun Devils!).

They need votes to get in!!!

You can hear two of their songs and vote for them here.

It takes two seconds! Vote for Hometown Heroes! Voting is open through Monday.

I usually leave music posting around here to Lars and T, but this song came on my Pandora box the other day, and I was instantly obsessed. It gives me chills every time I hear it. The artist is Terra Naomi — her website is here — and I recommend you all give this a listen. Vocally, lyrically and musically it’s phenomenal. She reminds me of Tori back in the Little Earthquake days, but a little more linear. (I love you Tori!)

I’ve been away for a long time and judging by the hundreds of emails that have poured in you want me back in a big way.

I know it baby, I know.

I flew home from JFK last night, 6.5 hours, and I was on JetBlue so we had DirectTv. I stumbled upon something that left me shocked and saddened. Nancy Grace. Take a look.

Now, I realize that freaky looking people make it on TV all the time, but do annoying freaky looking folks also make it? I mean really, she looks like she would eat a puppy. And then she’d come for you. Just a fair warning guys, watch out.

Hilary Duff’s new single is pretty addicting. Kind of like Vicodin. When you’re Nicole Richie. [popbytes]

Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds must have received the letters I’ve been writing them, begging that the natural order of the universe be restored, and that Ryan Reynolds genes of total hotness not be mixed with Alanis’s weird pear-shaped ones. They’ve split up. [Hollywood Grind]

I hate covering stories that involve Katie Holmes talking. [Defamer]

Fuckin’ Lindsay Lohan. [The Blemish, The Superficial]

Fuckin’ Lindsay Lohan’s mom. [Hollyscoop]

Yes, we have pictures of Denise Richards’ labia. This is very good news for Heather Locklear in the maintenance and improvement of the voo-doo doll. [The Superficial]