I am watching the AmIdol San Antonio auditions, and Ryan Seacrest is talking to three girls who are holding a sign that says — I am not kidding about this — “JASMINeS Are Next AMerICAN IDOL!”

I looked at it for so long, trying to figure out what they could possibly mean by that, and finally it dawned on me.

And Ryan is talking to them for what I am certain is a full five minutes, and they are saying something, I’m sure, but I can’t hear any of it, because they are holding a sign that says — for real, people — “JASMINeS Are Next AMerICAN IDOL!”

If only public school teachers could create the same level of hysteria as aspiring pop stars…

Cool Movie Alert! This is directed by Julie Taymor and looks quite good. Here is the trailer to enjoy but you will have to wait till September for the movie. I am quite excited. Here is…”Across the Universe”

Tyra Banks has been having a rough couple weeks. First, they publish photos of her in a really ugly bathing suit looking a bit chunky and come up with really funny headlines about her new zaftig shape. Second, after wearing the same suit on air (and having a very public bitch fest)…probably after a 10 day juice fast, people put this lovely little banner outside her TV show.

Now, Adrianne Curry (aka. Mrs. Brady or the original America’s Next Top Model) is speaking out against the season’s freshman effort. Adrianne is fuming mad.

“We were told the winner would be an instant millionaire, that our faces would be plastered everywhere in Revlon ads. None of which turned out to be true … I still haven’t got paid for the work I did for them!”

She also claims that the models were not fed well to boot.

Well, since Janice Dickinson is so into starvation that makes sense. This isn’t the first time that Adrianne as come out against ANTM. About a year ago, Adrianne was quoted as comparing Tyra to another crazy faced ex-supermodel.

“She can be the sweetest person in the world, but once that camera is off, she’s Naomi Campbell, in your face.”

Really, since it was the first season the producers were probably cheap. I feel sorry for Adrianne since she really did deserve some kind of prize money. Instead she had to whore herself out to more reality TV and marry a Brady. Really I find it amusing that none of these “Top Models” ever end up being something. Come on girls, Carrie Underwood won a Country Music Award. The Top Model girls really are the underachievers of the Reality TV world. They should start putting them into the Real World/Road Rules Challenge series. Ohhhh, MTV, Tyra, call me. We will do lunch.

[Source]

Is life imitating art?

Everyone’s a famewhore. Despite the fact that nearly every single couple who films an MTV series about their relationship ends up divorced (I guess Ozzie and Sharon are still together, but I think he’s too high to notice), people are still standing in line to have their dirty laundry aired to the entire cable subscriber base. Bam Margera and new bride Missy Rothstein, who tied the knot in Philadelphia on Saturday, have allowed MTV’s cameras to follow them through each step of the wedding planning. The resultant series, Bam’s Unholy Union, began airing on MTV last week.

When Rothstein was asked about the MTV curse, she responded, ”We don’t live in Hollywood. It’s not two celebrities coming together, fighting over the spotlight. It’ll be a nice memory that, years from now, we can look back on, and we have the entire process documented.” Translation: “I wanna be on TV more than I want my marriage to work,” which is, probably, the sentiment that makes this curse less of a curse than the natural follow-on to that line of thinking.

Margera and Rothstein met in sixth grade, but didn’t start dating until two years ago, after Bam ended things with his psycho ex-fiancee, Jenn Rivell. Bam has also been linked with Jessica Simpson (during her married years, at that), and confessed the affair to Howard Stern.

Of course, no story about Bam Margera would be complete today without a brief reference to the fact that his uncle (and occasional Jackass co-star) Don Vito is currently scheduled to stand trial for feeling up some underage girls (and we’re talking age 12, not 17). Now that’s something we should have had on tape.

Ladies and gentlemen, Justin Timberlake is dating. Yes, that’s right, he’s dating. There is more than one woman in whom he is interested, and so he is spending time romantically with both of them. You’d think the media would be familiar with this concept, as they all watch Grey’s Anatomy, and Meredith laid the concept out pretty clearly a couple months back, but everyone still seems shocked. It’s not a committed relationship … but it’s not cheating … how do we frame this?

After frollicking around Sundance with Jessica Biel, JT was back in the arms of Scarlett Johansson in Miami. The two were spotted at a Super Bowl afterparty, where, according to witnesses, “they were talking, dancing, holding hands all night - it was very cozy. Then, as they left through the back, Justin was leaning against the wall and Scarlett came up, leaned into him and did a sexy, little dance, grinding into his body.”

I am really, really happy about this, mostly because Jessica Biel is certain to be really, really unhappy about this. I take great pleasure in the little things.

Well, Beet has wisely decided to go after big people in a major way this morning so I’m going to join the fray with this news: Anna Nicole and TrimSpa are being sued in a very classy manner. That was my pun for “class action”. Yeah, well, I hate me too. Anyhow the news is:

Anna Nicole Smith and TrimSpa Inc. have been sued in a class-action lawsuit alleging their marketing of a weight-loss pill is false or misleading.

Really? I have zero sympathy for you people. Isn’t taking diet pill advice from Anna Nicole like taking “How to get shot lessons” from Tupac? Clearly you’d want 50 Cent.

My point is Anna is a very big and cuckoo imbecile. Those who follow her advice deserve only ridicule and a discount on their next full frontal lobotomy.