Before we begin, I want to thank Evil T for doing a kick-ass job of holding this place down while I was out of town. She is a total rock star, and I have no idea what I’d do without her. Thanks T! Now, on to the links …

Wait, Tom Cruise isn’t already Jesus? [Celebslam]

Robbie Williams plans to give Elton John the gift of his penis. [Cele|bitchy]

Jared Leto and his earflaps are totally ready to throw down, bitch. [Agent Bedhead]

New pics of Scarlett. You know you’re going to click. Don’t try to fight it. [The Blemish]

Wow, Mandy Moore even depresses herself! [Celebrity Smack]

Something about Jenna Jameson, Paris Hilton, and girls who want to lose their virginity. As the premise for a television show. I can’t read any further. I feel dirty. On behalf of our country. [Pop on the Pop]

The indiest thing I have ever loved just gave birth to a little girl. Unfortunately, she had to go and ruin it by naming the kid Petah. But congrats anyway, Ani DiFranco. [CBB]

“Damn girl, you look good from the front AND the back”-Diddy

Well, a girl and a bottle, technically. I guess it really takes a woman to do a man’s job. According to Page Six, someone finally did the bodily harm to the scrawny contestant that Sam, Cliff and Ilan had dreamed of for months. “This girl came up to me at a nightclub and asked me if I was Marcel from ‘Top Chef,’ ” Marcel says. “The next thing I knew, this bottle struck me, and my friends had to rush me to the hospital. I needed 30 stitches.”

Here’s what surprises me: Marcel has friends. Not just friends, but the kind of friends who rush one to the hospital in this situation, rather than high-fiving the bottle-throwing girl. I wonder what type of bottle it was. I hope it was beer, and I hope there was foam in it.

How did this get ignored by the blogosphere?

This is from “All My Children.”

Things to note
1) Odd accent that you cannot really place.
2) The funniest use of the word “penis” ever.
3) The ability for these actors to keep their cool during one of the most amazing daytime monolouges ever
4) This chick/dude’s name is Zarf

Sorry for the lack of posting today. My cohorts are still mingling with the rich and famous while I slug away at work. Regular employment is so mundane.
Here is your Monday Morning Music…a bit later than I had hoped but none the less here is some music for your evening.

The T is back in love and this song just makes me want to smile. This is a whiny song that actually has some depth. Put it on your ipod with some Frey, James Blunt, Snow Patrol… nice winter lovin.

Perez is such a fame whore. That doesn’t mean the Evil T doesn’t love him dearly but he really really loves to post pics of himself on his little website.

He blames this weird pink hat of hair on his stylist but I really think that he asked her, “hey, how will I get noticed as an unattractive semi-celebrity when there are all of these ‘real’ famous people all around Park City?”

This is the answer. I don’t know what I think of it. I find it funny that he can make fun of celebrities, say some really funny yet often very cruel things, yet they still will take pics with him because a couple MILLION people check out his site every day and know that they will get free publicity. It is interesting when the veil of the blogger is lifted and they mingle with their prey.

Lets examine above. Sienna Miller is smiling with Perez like he is her best friend. He makes fun of this girl every, single, week. She doesn’t seem to care. She knows that he keeps her name in the press and he knows that by charming her into taking a photo he makes sure that everyone thinks (or believes) that all of his mean spirited comments are in good fun. It is a symbiotic relationship kids.

Keep whoring and getting that SWAG Perez. It is why we love you.

No joke. I saw him in the Salt Lake City airport this afternoon, at baggage claim. BRIGHT PINK. Neon. You CAN’T MISS HIM around here. I think that’s what he wanted.

Finally in my hotel room after a day of travel and chicken wings. More on today’s journey later.

Thank you to Evil T for being such a total rock star around here today.