From our friends at GoFugYourself….this is too wonderful for words. Someone actually grammatically corrects Lindsay’s incoherent email about Al Gore and Aliens or whatever. I love how she thinks that she is famous enough that politicians will really care that people badmouth her in the press. I hope she knows that all of her “bad publicity” is the only reason why she is famous. It isn’t for her stellar acting chops. Honestly hon, since “Mean Girls” it has just been downhill.

Girl is a nutcase. To see how smart Lindsay is, click here.

Wesley Snipes, who was indicted in October for tax evasion, surrendered himself to Feds this morning at the Orlando airport. Snipes pleaded not guilty on all charges, and says he looks “forward to clearing my name and resolving this issue post haste.”

Last month, Snipes authored a Lohan-style letter to a columnist at the Orlando Sentinel, comparing his arrest to rape and implying that the actions of the Federal government were racist. He and Lindsay should team up and just start issuing these rambling, accusatory statements jointly. Snipes could be in charge of making sure that “adequate” is always spelled correctly, and Lindsay could make sure the letters get into the hands of the New York Post’s editors, rather than floundering at some smallish Florida paper. It’s the Dream Team of crazy!

The charges carry a maximum of 16 years in federal lock-up for Snipes.

This seems just mean to post but I just have to. According to a two year study by the Indian Council of Medical Research, “about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.” Because of this problem, the Council is suggesting that condom manufacturers provide India with a varying range of condom sizes. This actually is a serious problem in India because of the high rate of STDs and AIDS which is sweeping the continent. According to a BBC news article posted today, “the issue is serious because about one in every five times a condom is used in India it either falls off or tears, an extremely high failure rate.” Somehow, this whole overpopulation issue in India is starting to make a lot more sense to me. Poor guys, this really doesn’t bode well for the reputation of Indian men in the bedroom.
In a wonderful response to this study, Sunil Mehra, the former editor of Maxim India stated,

“It’s not size, it’s what you do with it that matters. From our population, the evidence is Indians are doing pretty well. With apologies to the poet Alexander Pope, you could say, for inches and centimetres, let fools contend.”

There goes my dream of a three way with Harold and Kumar.

Now here’s something you don’t hear a lot of around Hollywood: someone actually asking to have their scene cut. The frat boys who sued 20th Century Fox and the producers of Borat last month have asked a judge to order that their scene be removed from all future copies of the film. While the students signed releases allowing themselves to be used in the footage, they argue that they were drunk and misled when they signed them. The film footage shows the boys making racist statements.

The judge did not issue a ruling on Thursday, but will take the matter under advisement. “I don’t see people falling down or unable to articulate what they were saying,” he said. The students’ lawyer argues that the boys have lost opportunities as a result of being portrayed so negatively in the film. He says one was forced out of a prominent position within his fraternity, and the other missed out on a “prestigious internship” because of the film. “There are a lot of real-life problems raised by the movie,” he said.

“It’s like the Mel Gibson defense,” said an attorney for 20th Century Fox. “I only say the things I did when I’ve had a few drinks.”

Jennifer Hudson looooooves gay sex now. [A Socialite's Life]

Tom Cruise seems to have figured out that being seen with Oprah Winfrey, under any circumstance, is only going to ignite the batshit-crazy vibe he’d like to quell. [Celebitchy]

Nicole Richie’s snatching up Hilary Duff’s sloppy seconds. [Yeeeah!]

Gwen Stefani: still naming things L.A.M.B. Up now: perfume. [Glitterati]

Live-blogging the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. [Film.com]

Hey y’all, if you are looking for the Grammy Nominees click here.

Here are some highlights!

*Imogen Heap, one of our “Monday Morning Music” artists is nominated for Best New Artist along with James Blunt, Chris Brown, Corinne Bailey Rae (who is amazing), and one of my favorite Idol winners, Carrie Underwood.

*Ladysmith Black Mambazo…remember this from mean girls, when Lohan’s momma in the movie goes “But you LOVE Ladysmith Black Mambazo”…well, they are a real group and are nominated in the World Music Category for Best Contemporary World Music Album.

*Mary J. Blige leads the nominations with eight! One of her nominations is for “One” which she recorded with U2’s Bono. If you haven’t listened to this, download it right now because it is amazing.

*The Red Hot Chili Peppers are rockin it this year with six nominations.

*JT has four nominations for his album “FutureSex/LoveSounds.” Other artists with four nods are Beyoncé, Bryan-Michael Cox, Gnarls Barkley, Israel Houghton, T.I. James Blunt, the Dixie Chicks, John Mayer, Danger Mouse, Prince, Rick Rubin, will.i.am and John Williams each earn five nods.

*That awful song “My Humps” is nominated. Honestly that could possibly be the worst song I’ve ever heard.

*There are wayyyy to many categories to post a full list of the nominations but check it out for some new tunes. Obviously “Grey’s” soundtrack music is all over the Grammy nods so I really do hope they win for their Soundtrack.

49th Annual GRAMMY Awards will be held on “GRAMMY Sunday,” Feb. 11, at Staples Center in Los Angeles and once again will be broadcast live in high-definition TV and 5.1 surround sound on CBS from 8 – 11:30 p.m. (ET/PT).

You bet the Beet will give you full coverage, it possibly will include nip slips and crotch shots but here at the Beet we also take time to sit back and enjoy the music.

Step up! Be a man! If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

Lindsay Lohan needs you to join her cause. She is definitely against something, and she is definitely willing to fight for it, and she definitely NEEDS AND WANTS YOUR HELP. The exact nature of this cause is inconclusive right now, but who cares? Al Gore and the Clinton Administration have already lent it their full support. Come on board!

SIGN THE LOHANIFESTO!