I hate to do this because she is looking sooooo much better but Courtney Love really missed it here. The mismatching prints, the too-short skirt, the oddly mismatching bag and shoes. I give her props for getting sober but now she needs to hire a stylist and come out with a killer new album. I hope that she soon will be voted most improved.

Apparently old pussy can’t cook that well. Comedian Chris Rock has filed for divorce from his wife of nearly 10 years, Malaak Compton-Rock. The couple have two daughters together. Rumors of Rock’s infidelity have been lingering for about as long as his marriage, so this doesn’t come as a huge surprise. Rock’s rep had no comment.

Thanks to the guys at Bossip for the heads-up.

We talk a lot of shit about Lindsay Lohan around here, but this song, “Beautiful Life,” from her latest album, A Little More Personal, is honestly my favorite song to listen to when I’m really sad. It always cheers me up a little. So, as Slow News Week draws to its grinding, painful close, I thought I’d share it with you all.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgSgSS_Z7-M]

This is my contribution to slow news week. Tori Amos sings “Taxi Ride” live on Oxygen. I love this song. I love Tori. At least half of you are gay, so I know you do, too. Enjoy.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNBOZiWAVJc]

Slowest. News week. Ever. So, celeb gossip bloggers have taken to their favorite slow-news-week activity: posting outtakes and best-takes from celeb photo shoots. Check out some of my favorites, and pray that someone finally snaps that pic of Paris Hilton doing what she does best in the bathroom at Hyde next week.

Shakira at the Latin Grammys [Teddy and Moo]

Kristen Bell in Giant magazine. [HGW]

Paris Hilton in Seventeen. [MollyGood]

Celeb candids [celebrity nation]

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony at a Latin Recording Academy event. [YBNBY]

Brangelina and Maddox in India. [Hollyscoop]

Grey’s star Ellen Pompeo on Friends, Kate Walsh by Roberto D’Este [HGW, more]

And, finally, a celeb nipple slip compilation video. [Celebrity Pictorials]

Tom Cruise will be bringing his special brand of crazy to United Artists, parent company MGM announced Thursday. Cruise and his longtime producing partner, Paula Wagner, have taken a “substantial minority stake” in the company, where Wagner will serve as CEO and Cruise will have the authority to greenlight and star in the big-screen adaptations of every L. Ron Hubbard novel John Travolta missed.

“You’ve got the studios accusing talent of driving up the cost of doing business and the talent accusing the studios of being political bureaucracies,” says MGM chairman and CEO Harry Sloan. “We think if we can create a talent-friendly studio, owned by artists, then we can come up with a new financial model.”

Cruise was booted in August from his former home at Paramount, after Viacom crypt-keeper Sumner Redstone insisted Cruise’s off-screen antics were hurting the bottom line on his movies. His arrival at UA marks a return to the artist-run business model on which the studio was originally founded.

Thanks anyway, Katharine McPhee, but Nicole Richie doesn’t need advice from some recovering bulimic, no matter how desperate said bulimic may be to extend her fifteen minutes of fame. Besides, everyone knows bulimics are just wannabe anorexics who got too damn hungry. [Gossip or Truth]

Also cashing in her eating disorder chip today is Alison Clinton, the nanny Sara Evans accused of sleeping with her sex addict of a husband. She claims Evans’ allegations have triggered an anorexia relapse. And her brothers are going to Iraq. And she’s unemployed. She weighs just over seventy pounds, and, as part of her recovery program, it’s important that information be distributed to the entire readership of Star magazine. [Star]

But wait! We’re not through with eating disorders yet! Up now: Kate Bosworth has opted to embrace Karen Carpenter’s wardrobe along with her fatal illness. [Teddy and Moo]

Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler: Battle of the MySpace Blogs. Come for the venom. Stay for the spelling mistakes. [Tabloid Whore]

Seriously, maybe we should just stop inviting Kanye West to awards shows. [Bossip]

AmIdol’s Kelly Pickler releases her first album, entitled — shockingly — Small Town Girl. They’re planning on using a photo of her visiting her father in jail as the cover. And she’ll be holding a book upside-down. And eating sushi with an eyelash curler. [Girls Talkin' Smack]