From Letterman last night. Watch it before YouTube yanks it.

For everyone who wished that the late 80s/early 90s never left us…here is a clip from last night’s “How I Met Your Mother.” It makes you long for the days of slap bracelets and biker shorts.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQdwjGv0E7s]

Remember the Janet Jackson nonsense? Well CBS does to and they are suing the FCC over the 550k they were fined. I think someone at CBS realized the only show they have left that people watch is C.S.I. so they decided they’d just start lashing out at monolithic organizations. Next up, the Boy Scouts! Actually, they kid of deserve it. Anyway.

I will say in this point they’ve got the high ground, the FCC is a demon from hell sent to haunt our dreams. Here’s a bit of the reasoning behind the decision:

“(The incident) was unintended, took place without the knowledge of the network, and should not be considered indecent.”

Furthermore CBS wants you to know the JJ breastacle was:

“unscripted, unauthorized and unintended long-distance shot of Ms. Jackson’s breast for nine-sixteenths of one second.”

9/16ths! Go get em CBS! And wouldn’t you have loved to be the intern with the stopwatch getting that number exactly right?

Take us home CBS, the official network of old people:

“The network stated that the “blink and you miss it” nature of the episode went “largely unrecognized for most of the broadcast audience.”

Whoa there. Now you’ve lost me. It may have gone unrecognized for the 9/16ths of a second it took everyone in the world to overreact, but even I caught that Ms. Jackson had given us a little more for our entertainment dollar. Man, CBS, why didn’t you just say “You can catch the same nipple action on EvilBeetGossip.com”? Or anywhere on the massive entity I call the internet. Or on Showtime. Or on the Oscars when someone wears a J-Lo dress. Or perhaps you should have used the ultimate in network comebacks with “Hey, our freaking logo looks like a nipple you jerks.”

For the record, Abbie Cornish claims she and Ryan Phillippe are “friends and that’s it.” [Just Jared]

In a last-ditch effort to make something good come of Elizabethtown, Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst are now officially dating. [A Socialite's Life]

Nicole Richie fires celeb stylist Rachel Zoe, possibly because she’s the only person on the planet who makes Richie look obese in comparison. [Perez Hilton]

Kate Moss’s fiance, Pete Doherty, is arrested for possession of crack cocaine. [Cele|Bitchy]

Carmen Electra is old now, too. And bless the girls at Dirty Laundry, who always link to the full-size photos of celebs, so you can check out every little zit and wrinkle on her aging little face. [Dirty Laundry]

CBS just sent out their press release from the taping of Letterman this afternoon (the actual interview will air on CBS tonight). Fresh from my inbox:

Richards was featured via satellite from Los Angeles during an interview with scheduled guest Jerry Seinfeld, who asked Richards, his former “Seinfeld” co-star, to appear on the CBS late night broadcast. The following is an excerpt from Richards’ interview:

Letterman: “Why don’t you explain exactly what happened for the folks who may not know.”

Richards: “I lost my temper on stage. I was at a comedy club trying to do my act and I got heckled and I took it badly and went into a rage and said some pretty nasty things to some Afro-Americans, a lot of trash talk, and uh…”

Letterman: “And you were actually being heckled or were they just talking and disturbing the act?”

Richards: “That was going on too.”

* * *

Richards: “…You know, I’m really busted up over this and I’m very, very sorry to those people in the audience, the blacks, the Hispanics, whites – everyone that was there that took the brunt of that anger and hate and rage and how it came through, and I’m concerned about more hate and more rage and more anger coming through, not just towards me but towards a black/white conflict. There’s a great deal of disturbance in this country and how black feel about what happened in Katrina, and, you know, many of the comics, many of performers are in Las Vegas and New Orleans trying to raise money for what happened there, and for this to happen, for me to be in a comedy club and flip out and say this crap, you know, I’m deeply, deeply sorry. And I’ll get to the force field of this hostility, why it’s there, why the rage is in any of us, why the trash takes place, whether or not it’s between me and a couple of hecklers in the audience or between this country and another nation, the rage – “

Letterman: “But Michael, let me interrupt here for a second and ask a question about had the people doing the heckling or the people who were not paying attention, had they been white or Caucasian or any other race, what would have been the nature of your response then?”

Richards: “It may have happened. It may have happened. You know, I’m a performer. I push the envelope, I work in a very uncontrolled manner onstage. I do a lot of free association, it’s spontaneous, I go into character. I don’t know, in view of the situation and the act going where it was going, I don’t know, the rage did go all over the place. It went to everybody in the room. But you can’t – you know it’s, I don’t – I know people could, blacks could feel – I’m not a racist, that’s what so insane about this, and yet it’s said, it comes through, it fires out of me and even now in the passion that’s here as I confront myself.”

Apparently taping just wrapped on tonight’s David Letterman, and Michael Richards made an appearance via satellite to apologize for the awful, racist remarks that had their webcast debut today.

A source at Defamer, who was at the taping, says “they got Michael Richards to be on the show via satellite. He apparently insists that he’s not racist, even though he kept referring to ‘Afro-Americans’ through the interview.”

Another source at TMZ says that Richards was near tears during the apology. Richards’ excuse is rumored to be “rage issues.” Uh-huh. That’s like saying your excuse is “actively hating black people.” Nice try, Mikey.

Richards appeared as a part of a previously-scheduled interview with Jerry Seinfeld.

Set your TiVos, kiddos!

Scarlett Johansson is currently in England filming The Other Boleyn Girl, but perhaps her thoughts should be focused on The Other Hartnett Girl. Scarlett’s boyfriend, Josh Hartnett, was recently spotted in Sydney having a seemingly romantic weekend with a woman who is definitely not Scarlett. When Josh and his girl were spotted at an airport, the actor told photogs to “get fucked.”

Rumors of trouble in the ScoJo/Hartnett paradise have been circulating for awhile. Scarlett is said to be unhappy with the fact that Josh is always away filming, and I think Josh is having some trouble coping with the fact that every man on the planet jacks off to his girlfriend. Remember, before Scarlett, Josh dated his high-school sweetheart, Ellen Fenster, until early 2004, way after he was already famous. So is it really a big surprise that he’s back to messing around with a no-name?