Congratulations to Melissa Etheridge and wife Tammy Etheridge (nee Michaels)! Last Tuesday, October 17, Tammy gave birth to twins — a boy and a girl — named Miller Steven and Johnnie Rose.

Hm. “Miller” and “Johnnie.” Can you guess which one is the girl?

No?

That’s okay, neither can any reasonable person.

FYI, Johnnie Rose is the girl. Is it possible they’re pronouncing it like “Joni?” I can’t tell. Actually, “Johnnie,” (pronounced Jah-nee) is kind of a hot name for a girl, but it’s really gonna suck for both of them when Tammy and Melissa are all like, “These are our twins, Johnnie and Miller,” and people just stare, awkwardly, trying to figure out which name to apply to which child.

This is the first child for Tammy. Melissa has two children with ex-girlfriend Julie Cypher, Bailey (9) and Beckett (7), whose biological father is David Crosby. Miller and Johnnie’s father is an anonymous donor. Mother and children are doing well.

Since I broke my foot and have no social life right now. Here are some links I found poking around the internet. Enjoy!

Evidently the way to celebrate a holiday in India is to get plastic surgery. [Washington Post]

Ashlee is totally stealing Jess’s thunder. Wow Jessica, you are ranked 4th. At least Paris isn’t #1. Go Ashlee Go! [E! Online]

Japanese men love kinky sex. Evidently this dude had to learn 200 Japanese slang terms for dirty deeds in Japan. I wonder if this gives the song “Turning Japanese” new meaning? [Page Six]

Demi Moore isn’t the only older woman who has bagged herself a boy toy. [Salon.com]

Behold, more photos of Katie Holmes and Chris Klein’s baby. Suri is actually really adorable. I just hope Katie doesn’t sacrifice her to the Uba Wooba Alien God of Scientology. [Just Jared]

When you mix an amazing play by Frank Wedekind with music by Duncan Sheik you get a kick ass new musical opening soon on Broadway. The “Spring Awakening” site has some awesome videos. If you are in New York in the next few months, go see it. (Pic above is from the show) [Spring Awakening] and [Broadway.com]

This article on CNN.com really struck me because I didn’t realize that TV theme songs had disappeared. This makes me sad. I fully enjoy singing along to “Thank You for Being a Friend” (Golden Girls) when I’m watching Lifetime. I also when drunk have been known to get “Charles in Charge” stuck in my head. I bought that awful CD that had the “Friends” theme song. I also remember secretly planning out my hot head turn that was going to be my title shot when I joined that cast of Melrose Place. Evil Beet and I found a shared love for Shawn Colvin after her song “Climb On” on “Party of Five” before the theme song was changed to “Closer to Free”.

Sad that this has all gone away. They had a 26-second theme song for “Grey’s Anatomy” but that has been scrapped. “Two and a Half Men” has a cute little intro, but not many shows have those fun intros where you get montages of characters and snappy little songs. Even the shows that do have opening credits sometimes scrap them entirely just for a title-flash.

I secretly dream of a world where Lost has a “Beverly Hills 90210″-esque opening including Sawyer ripping off his shirt and Jack running down the beach “Baywatch” style.

Apparently Jimmy Kimmel has a different take on his ideal Lost Theme Song.
Enjoy.

Update: This is also from YouTube but I had to post it again. YouTube recently has taken down 30,000 clips which is lame.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVCdl29Rvq8]

I am one of the many people that is over Paris Hilton. I think she is ugly, bowlegged, and a symbol of everything that is wrong with celebrity. The strange thing is that, as much as people dislike Paris, she won’t go away.

If I was a paparazzi photographer I would ostensibly not take her picture to make her mad. Well, until I realized that a picture of a drunk whoring Paris Hilton could make me enough money to feed a small African nation.

Because Paris won’t go away, many have taken to hating her overtly. I introduce you to the Paris Hilton Hatelisting.

Enjoy.

People’s interest in this topic never fails to intrigue me. But, yeah, they’re still dating. They were spotted at Hyde recently, where this picture was taken. I hate to be a bitch (I don’t know why I even bother prefacing statements that way, because it’s so not true), but Cacee’s looking a little big in the hips. I mean, it’s totally fine if you want to just let your hips get big, or allow your inner thighs to become, like, chemically bonded to one another, but do you really have to go to Hyde during the aftermath? It’s like showing up at the Ivy in full Nazi garb. We are going to write mean things about you.

[via BarbieMartini]

Wow, Isaiah Washington is in a world of trouble. After nearly punching Patrick Dempsey on set, and unleashing a flood of homophobic slurs that led T.R. Knight to come out to People magazine, rumor has it that, due to the tensions on set, producers are looking to replace him on the show, possibly with ER’s Eriq LaSalle!!!

It’ll be just like the New Becky/Old Becky days on Roseanne. New Burke/Old Burke!!

I don’t know why I’m so excited about this. Probably because I love me some Eriq LaSalle.

Angelina Jolie just hates it when photogs catch pictures of Shiloh without forking over the requisite $4M. [Just Jared]

Nicole Kidman’s husband, country singer Keith Urban, is the latest celeb to enter rehab for an alcoholism relapse. It’s going to be okay, Nicole. Remember, there’s still no twelve-step program for Scientology. [Allie is Wired]

The Hills‘ L.C. is officially dating Brody Jenner, the ex-boyfriend of her Laguna Beach nemesis, Kristin Cavallari. No comment yet from Cavallari, but we’re keeping a close eye on her t-shirts. [Hollyscoop]

Break out the weed and the slap bracelets. Fraggle Rock is coming to the big screen. [popbytes]

Breaking! Kevin Federline may not be the model father you’d previously believed him to be. Well, at least you were right about the model part. [PopCultureWhore]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Christie Brinkley is such a rock star. [Teddy and Moo]

Carmen Electra, who was the Queen of the C-List Celebrities now has earned her spot on the D-list by becoming the spokesperson for NV Rapid Weight-Loss Beauty Pill. If you wonder how you can spot a D-list celebrity, here are the following signs.

1) MTV Reality show followed by messy divorce.
2) Appearing on Baywatch.
3) Failed singing career. Albums are bought mainly in Japan.
4) Acknowledgement of Plastic Surgery, usually in US Weekly, InTouch, or Life and Style
5) Appearing in Playboy, Maxim, or Stuff Magazine.
6) A little to eager to pose for Paparazzi.
7) Appears on Celebrity Poker Showdown more than once.
Movies often go straight to video.
9) Hanging out with Perez Hilton.
10) Whoring yourself out for a diet pill.

Carmen, you are welcome to join Shanna Moakler, Tara Reid, David Hasselhoff, Ashley Parker Angel, Nikki Hilton, Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Anna Nicole Smith, Perez Hilton, and our newest member, Paris Hilton, for a reception at Red Lobster, punch and pie will be served.

PS- Jess, your invite got lost in the mail.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWs1FF-BS7c]

I’m sorry but I love Weird Al. In middle school I bought his album, “Bad Hair Day” and listened to Amish Paradise over and over again. Though I really thought that was the zenith of his career, this tops it.

So in the true spirit of The Evil Beet, I have decided every Friday to make fun of a celebrity’s fashion choices. I understand that Rachel Zoe will be to blame for most of these fashion blunders but don’t you girls own a mirror? Do you actually think you look good and people on the internet aren’t going to make fun of you?

To kick this off I have chosen Lindsay Lohan. I know…its a little old to make fun of her fuglyness but seriously it is just too fun. She used to be so cute, albeit a little misguided, but now its like Forever 21 has thrown up all over her. Sad that with all those designer clothes you just can’t seem to “make it work.” (I’m already missing Tim Gunn, but I digress).

Lindsay, ankle boots and knee socks and both a bath idea. Together they are just wrong…so wrong. This is not going to help your Oscar or husband hunting campaign. You kind of look like Elvira and I don’t think that was what you were going for.

Lets try for some winter white or pastels honey. Thanks, Love EvilT

Via Best Week Ever this morning Joe Simpson is still creeping people out with his strange “management” of his daughter Jessica.

Now I remember back in the day when Jess was all into Jesus and her father was all freaked out about her going off and boinking Nick before they actually got to the altar. Since she’s already popped her cherry, Jesus is evidently all ok about her romping around with every flavor of the month musician. Ya, keep telling yourself that Joe.

I mean, it is really weird that Joe is now taking dirty pictures of his daughters. But I see that all the time on Law and Order:SVU…wait, those dudes go to jail.

Hi Izzie.

I’ve provided some links for you regarding the power of compound interest.

Here’s the Wiki on compound interest.
Here’s a compound interest calculator.
And an informative article from About.com.
Even one from The Motley Fool.

I mean, I know a medical education’s no MBA, but the refrigerator?

Come on, Izzie.